openness

You Are 53% Open

You are a fairly open person, but you also like to maintain your privacy. You definitely will tell all (okay, almost all) to your closest friends... But strangers and acquaintances only get a peek into your life.

How Open Are You?

I met with a new spiritual director today. It was rough going in the beginning, opening up. But she was nice, I needed to talk, and so it all came out. She asked some very good questions that have me pondering some unbloggables. I think she might be a good fit, and I've been missing having a regular spiritual director. We're going to meet for a few months and the reevaluate.

But it made me think ... how open am I? Apparently 53% according to this quiz. Some who read this blog may think I'm REALLY open ... or "sharey" as a blog friend commented in a recent e-mail. On the one hand that's true - I do share a lot of the interior stuff on this blog. But there's also a great deal I don't share here. That's why it was a good thing to take the 1st three weeks off from the blog ... it would have been more than I could handle to sort through what was shareable and what was not. Anonymous as the medium may seem, that's deceiving. Anyone could be reading this thing, and I've been surprised more than once that someone who I didn't think read it was reading it.

Back to the idea of sharing though - it's hard to share, to truly be open. But I think when we can really open up to another human being, we allow the sacred in us to meet the sacred in the other and good things can happen. It's not easy but it's powerful.

on charism

Phil asked in the comments to an earlier post if I would care to "illuminate" him on this strange word ... charism.

Religious congregations often speak of their charism. Basically, the charism is the founding spirit of the community. It is the specific gift given by God to the founder and hence to the community and through their work, to the Church at large.

My parish in Portland was staffed by the Paulist Fathers. The Paulist charism is evagelization, reconciliation, ecumenism and interreligious dialogue. Having spent 7 years in that parish working closely with the Paulists, I could see how their charism was carried on by our parish community. We worked closely with other faith communities on social justice projects and often hosted interfaith prayer services for peace. The parish was often a first step back for alienated Catholics (like myself) - a safe place where reconciliation could take place. Whenever any parish event is planned, from the Spaghetti Dinner to the Rummage Sale to the latest environmental festival which was a great success, evangelization was always somewhere in the thoughts of the planners.

My own groovy religious community, the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace, has its own charism ... peace through justice. To be quite honest, it was the charism that first drew me to the community. When I realized that it wasn't just words but was imbued in the very lives and ministry of the Sisters and Associates, I was hooked.

Our Constitutions describe our charism best ...

In accord with our tradition
we commit ourselves to promote peace
in family life, in the church, and in society.
We strive to respect the dignity of all persons,
to value the gifts of creation,
and to confront opporessive situations.
We respond to God's people in need
and promote social justice as a way to peace.

Our charism of peace
challenges us to prohphetic risk
so that God's reign might be more fully realized.
Confident of God's faithful love
and collaborating with others who work for justice and peace,
we face the future with gratitude and hope.

This might seem like some new fangled idea, peace through justice. But it really is the founding spirit of the congregation founded in 1884 by Margaret Anna Cusack. I plan to share her story later on, but she wrote in our original constitutions that she founded this community:

... to promote the peace of the Church both by word and work. The very name Sisters of Peace will, it is hoped, inspire the desire of peace and a love for it.

tomato sighting ... or is it tomatoe?

We interrupt this serious business of chronicling the daily life of a novice for an update on my movie boyfriend (couresy of Estefania).

"What on Earth is Ewan McGregor doing? Ewan McGregor and Judi Dench took Londoners by surprise when they dressed up as a lobster and a tomato for Kevin Spacey's first TV ad for Film Four."

You know a certain someone is your movie boyfriend (or I suppose it holds true for those of you who have movie girlfriends) when you love them no matter how they're dressed. Or how bad the movie is for that matter.

I once watched an entire documentary on PBS about polar bears not because I was interested in the plight of said bears, but because Ewan McGregor was the narrator.

And yes, even nuns can have movie boyfriends! At least I hope so!

Help me Obi-Wan-Kenobe. You are my only tomato.

life in the convent

We're having two sisters over for dinner tonight ... our first dinner guests after moving in 3 weeks ago.

After lunch I went outside and found some fall leaves to decorate the table, and then I set the table (someone else is cooking). Then I decided to head to the exercise room and squeeze in a workout. I'm trying to fit this into my schedule ever day we're home.

All went well. I headed back to our house. Made it into the bathroom, more than ready for a shower. No water. Not only is there no water in my bathroom, there's no water in the novitiate house or the motherhouse next door.

Eeek!! They're working on the problem, but I sure hope it gets turned back on before dinner time.

In the mean time, I think I'll stay in my room and spend some time looking at the tree outside my window.

back on the other side of the hudson

This is the view from the retreat center in Ossining where we have our Intercommunity Novitiate Program each week. Amazing, eh?

I'm back on my side of the Hudson, 45 minutes south. My view here at home across the river is of the Bronx ... not quite as picturesque as this one. But neat to have the two perspectives.

Yesterday during our free time I went for a walk with camera in tow. The weather was perfect ... a nice gentle breeze so it was cool, but the sun was shining so it was warm. Wonderful.

It was a good two days. Interesting classes. Good conversations. I think we are really forming community. We also had our first charism presentation. Each congregation takes an evening to tell about their community. This week it was the Sisters of St. John the Baptist (CSJB to our CSJP). It was their founding day ... the 128th anniversary of their founding. I can really see now how the novice from their community fits with that group. Our church is so blessed to have such a depth and variety of charisms.

prodigal blogger returns

Greetings friends! Yes it is true … I am cautiously returning to the blogosphere. I think it was a wise move to take a break from regular blogging these first 3 weeks It’s been and continues to be an adjustment, but things seem to settling into a comfortable pattern. I’ve also realized how much I miss blogging – taking all the thoughts racing through my head and feelings racing through my heart and squeezing them into a (hopefully) readable blog post. So here I am. We’ll see how it goes and if I can fit this into my routine in a prayerful and mindful way.

What is my routine you ask??? It’s summed up by this quote from the Gospel according to Mark:

Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave from there. (Mark 6:10)

My job at the moment is to be present. To those I am living with here in the Novitiate House. To those I study with Tuesday & Wednesdays at the Intercommunity Novitiate. To myself. And most of all, to my loving God who is present in all things.

Perhaps I’ll share more specifics about my routine in later posts but essentially my days are filled with prayer and solitude and community time with those here in the house. Coming from a go, go, go life, it’s been a stretch for me to just be. But the past few days I’ve found my heart eagerly accepting God’s invitation and seem to have settled into a natural rhythm. That in itself makes it so much easier to adjust to everything!

I also found my way to the exercise room in the main building next door yesterday, which we have permission to use. My excuse for daily exercise was always that I didn’t have time. Well, I am rich with time right now, so I’m making a commitment to working on my physical health during this year as well. I think some of my feeling of well being right now comes from the natural endorphins from exercise which is a good thing.

Well, that’s about it for now!

down the shore

We spent the day at our retreat house on the shore. The presentation was wonderful - an exploration of the spirituality of peace of our founder Margaret Anna Cusack - and the company was equally as wonderful. It was our first real chance since we arrived 2 1/2 weeks ago to spend some quality time with the groovy people of this province ... Sisters & Associates. I made some new friends and reignited some old acquaintances. As usually happens at big groovy sister events, my face and stomach muscles hurt from laughing. That was one of the first signs 2 years ago that this was the community for me ... such joy.

My bloggy friends will also identify with this moment ... when you meet someone for the first time and it turns out that they've been reading your blog! In this case it was our presenter for the retreat day. He mentioned that I'd quoted him on the blog, which is true. He's written some wonderful reflections on our founder that I've spent quite a bit of time with and even blogged about! It is always a little disconcerting when you meet someone who knows your inner most bloggy thoughts!

All in all a great day.

fall

You Belong in Fall

Intelligent, introspective, and quite expressive at times... You appreciate the changes in color, climate, and mood that fall brings Whether you're carving wacky pumpkins or taking long drives, autumn is a favorite time of year for you

What Season Are You?

It's starting to feel like fall here in NJ. Last week there were a few rainy days which made me happy ... I like rain, particuarly gentle mists when you can walk in the rain. In my beloved Northwest fall means rain. But I also like the east coast version of Fall. Growing up in Maryland it was my favorite season, and I'm looking forward to seeing the trees change their colors.

There's a tree outside my window here at the Novitiate house. I set up my prayer space right in front of the window and hence spend a lot of time here looking at the tree. Right now the tree is full of green leaves. They were more lush when I got here, now they're starting to get a little droopy. When the leaves fall I think I'll have a good view of the George Washington Bridge and NYC skyline.

But in any case, it struck me at some point in my reflections over the past few weeks that I'll be journeying this year with my tree. The leaves will fall ... my leaves will fall as I live more and more gently into this year of retreat. One day the branches will be bare ... and I may feel bare and my life spare at times. But new life will come, for both me and my tree.

Tomorrow we're heading away from the Novitiate House for a day at our retreat house on the shore. It's a gathering of Sisters & Associates. I'm looking forward to the chance to share and get to know some of the East Coast groovy sisters and associates. While most of this year I like my tree will be stationary in this spot, at least there are times when we get to get away! It will be good to say hello to the ocean as well.

Peace to all my bloggy friends. I think I'm almost ready to come back to this blogging thing in some semi-regular form. And thanks for all the prayers ... please keep them coming!

greetings from mars

I joked a while back that to many of my acquaintances in Portland, my joining a religious community was so strange and out of left field, it was almost as if I was moving to Mars. Well, I’ve been here 11 days and while it’s not quite Mars, it is a different world. I’m looking out through the trees at the George Washington Bridge and the NYC skyline, but I’m in a sort of alternate reality light years away from the hubbub of the City.

We’re still settling in, and I know it will get more real and more like home. But new beginnings are always a challenge, especially when you are getting used to new people, new routines, new environments, etc… all at once. It’s especially challenging when you are pulled from your support system and transported to, as Steph affectionately (or not so affectionately) calls it … lockdown.

It’s been an adjustment, and continues to be. One interesting phenomenon is that I don’t seem to have enough time to do what I need to do. And yet, all I need to do is be present to God and to this Novitiate House Community. It’s almost like a time warp instead of another planet.

There have been good days and not so good days. Laughter and tears. Moments of clarity and moments of wondering what I’m doing here. I am so glad to have the company of my fellow novices. Last night the 3 of us played a game of Rummikub around the kitchen table. Don’t know how I’d be doing if it weren’t for them.

In the end, it comes down to this … Jesus is inviting me to go deeper, to delve into the scary bits, to love my way into this experience. And so I pray, and I hope, and I love.

Prayers and warm fuzzy thoughts are greatly appreciated!!!

PS - I'm not going back to regular blogging just yet, but I wanted the challenge of trying to capture these feelings for public consumption. Still way too all over the map to come back to the blog quite yet, plus not sure that I've figure out the balance yet either. Stay tuned ...

Quick Update #3

We have returned from our 1st overnight gathering of our Intercomunity Novitiate program. I have many thoughts racing through my head that I plan to reflect on over the next few days, bringing them to my heart as well. But I'll share two with you:

One ... I was amazed at the diversity of the group we will be journeying with. We have 8 men, 10 women from a total of eight different communities ranging in ages from very early twenties to early fifties. We have folks from the US, Kenya, Peru, Singapore, Vietnam, Romania, and Guatemala. And I suspect we have a diversity among theological and political perspectives as well. Among the Sisters, about half are wearing habits, half not. I feel so blessed to have such a richly diverse group with which to study, learn and share.

Two ... related to number one above, I am filled with such amazing hope for our church and our world. To think that each of these men and women have answered a call to serve God's people. As I was sitting in the chapel during liturgy yesterday, I looked around and knew that God had plans for each one of us, that we will all play a part in co-creating our future and living our present as God's people on earth.

Amazing. We'll head back next Tuesday for our first set of classes on the History of Religious Life and Liturgical Planning.

Quick Update #2

The OTHER Sister Susan has some pictures on the western province website.

You can see us leaving on a Jet Plane on Wednesday ....

... and you can see us entering the Novitiate in NJ. Not many pictures of me here though, since I sent her MY pictures and it's kind of hard to take pictures of yourself. Must remember to pass the camera to someone else in the future.

Quick Update #1

We are here ... safe and sound. Our novice director said we will take it easy until Monday. That should give us time to settle in. I already set up my prayer space and put my quilt on the bed. It's home ...

I'll check back in sometime next week for quick update #2.

Off to New Jersey ... and a brief blog fast

A week and a half ago I was received as a novice by the western province of the groovy sisters. Tomorrow morning in the wee hours I fly to New Jersey to enter the groovy sisters’ Congregational Novitiate. There will be 2 other Novices, one other from the west and one from the east.

We’ll be living on the grounds of the eastern motherhouse in Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey. Although we’ll be living on the grounds of the motherhouse (which has an infirmary and assisted living for older sisters), w will be our own community, living with our Novice Director and one other Sister. There are many more unknowns than knowns, but here’s a quick summary of the purpose of Novitiate from our groovy sister constitutions:

"The canonical novitiate, spent in the novitiate house, is a period of intensive prayer and study in relative withdrawal from ministerial involvement. During this time a novice focuses primarily on her transformation in Jesus Christ. The novitiate also includes times of engagement in ministry that will evoke the faith dispositions needed by those sharing in the mission of the church as expressed through our charism."

This first year starts officially Friday and is the canonical year of time away. The second year will be a ministry year.

I plan (and have permission) to continue documenting this crazy wonderful journey here on the blog. That said, I’ve decided to take a break from blogging for the first few weeks. I want the experience to sink in before I try to filter it for an outside audience. There may be a few quick updates during this time, but check back in October for regular updates.

The irony is that my traffic these last few days has greatly increased. That’s a blip I know, but if any of you visitors are interested in following along the journey you’d be welcome as well once I return to regular blogging. In the meantime you may find the archives interesting (see the sidebar).

For regular readers, I know it seems like some sort of Catholic blogging disease. First Mark takes a break, then Jason, now me. Rather than it being a disease though, I think it's a healthy effort to integrate a regular blogging practice with the rhythm and intentions of religious life. I do plan to return to the blog in October, although in what form and frequency will depend on where my prayer and reflection takes me. In the meantime, please visit some of my bloggy friends listed on the sidebar.

Please keep me and my fellow Novices (and Novice Director!) in your prayers.

Ciao for now ... Peace Out
Susan

and the grounds

IMG_0374
Originally uploaded by susanrosecsjp.

Check out the beautiful grounds where I'll be living ... lots of great walking paths (and check out that view of NYC)!

my new home

IMG_0365
Originally uploaded by susanrosecsjp.

Here's a picture of the groovy sisters' eastern province motherhouse where I'll be living for the next year.

Happy Labor Day

"Work remains a good thing, not only because it is useful and enjoyable, but also because it expresses and increases the worker’s dignity. Through work we not only transform the world, we are transformed ourselves, becoming 'more a human being.'”

-Pope John Paul II, Laborem Exercens

May each of my bloggy friends find their way to work that is transformative of the world and themselves. A tall order I know, but a beautiful vision this Labor Day.

ex portlander turned nun

So I'm getting LOADS of traffic thanks to my friend Jack. Thought it might be a good idea to give you a few tidbits and links that answer the question ... "He can't seriously have a friend who is becoming a nun, can he?"

First ... yes. You might want to read my Frequently Asked Questions.

Second ... I know Jack from Church. I was pleased to be his daughter's Sunday School teacher for a few years. He has the cutest kids.

Third ... if you read Jack's blog then you probably follow Portland politics. Yes I used to work for the City. But I've happily followed my heart to new, exciting and different places.

Happy to have all those Rose City visitors. Take good care of my City. Remember, "Good citizens are the riches of a City." Even when we leave to follow our hearts...

UPDATE: Traffic begets more traffic. I've had even more visitors today, thanks to the Oregonian listing me as a "News Update" (slow news day I suppose - but they picked up on Jack's post): "Former City Worker Blogs About Becoming a Catholic Nun."

Truly a post-modern moment (and the bulk of my remaining 15 minutes of "fame" I think).

community phones

One thing I was asked not to bring to the Congregational Novitiate next week was a cell phone. I will admit it has been a bit strange not having this apparatus close by. For one thing I had to break down and buy a watch as I had used my phone as my watch for years. The idea I think is to not be distracted by constant communication during this year of prayer, study and reflection. People will still be able to call us, they will just need to use our community house phone. Perhaps that is why this story struck me in the Washington Post this morning ...

"Still Called by Faith To the Phone Booth: As Companies Cut Back, Amish and Mennonites Are Building Their Own"

It used to be that Old Order Mennonite and Amish families in St. Mary's [County, Maryland] relied on public, coin-operated pay phones. But as people migrated to cellphones, telecommunications companies took notice. On average, they remove more than 1,000 pay phones a year in Maryland, according to state records. Verizon, for example, plans to take out two pay phones along heavily-Amish Thompson Corner and Budds Creek roads in St. Mary's. ...

There are rules. Families can't post phones too close to homes, and they can't outfit them with amplified ringers that effectively would make them house phones. Some Amish don't cotton to voice mail, but Old Order Mennonites seem more accepting of the feature. For both groups, the idea is to limit forces they think will distract them from faith and family.

"The telephone, and the use of the telephone, is not something we're opposed to. We just don't want it to be the main part of our lives," said Ethan Brubacher, 31, a nephew of Elmer, who owns Quiet Valley Structures, a shed-building business in Loveville. He and 11 neighbors share a community phone booth that is screened off by a row of 20 evergreen hedges.

Which I guess is the point. My blogging and e-mail practices will also need to change a bit. They shouldn't be the main part of my life. I head to New Jersey Wednesday. I'm planning to take a blogging hiatus then to let this experience seep in. There will probably be periodic short updates, but I don't plan to return to regular blogging until October. That should give me time to pray and reflect on how to integrate blogging in to this new life in a healthy way.

the color purple

I've been watching a wee bit of Oprah this week since I've been around a tv in the afternoon. Which brings us to this quiz ...

Dark Purple

To others, you seem a bit dark, mysterious, and moody. In truth, you are just a very unique person who doesn't care what others think. And you really enjoy your offbeat interests and friends. You've decided that life is about living for yourself - simple as that.

What Color Purple Are You?

By the way, Oprah was the local newscaster (she must have been 18) in Baltimore when I was growing up.

Heading off for a picnic/mini-road trip with my sister housemates today. I know it's raining everywhere else, but in the Northwest it's 85 degrees, sunny and no humidity!

cookie ministry

I made some more chocolate chip cookies this morning upon request (we're going on a picnic tomorrow afternoon). Which led to the following moment ...

Me: (taking cookies out of oven).

Mail Carrier: (making LOTS of noise putting mail in the slot.

Me: (walking over to door, oven mit in hand) "Hello."

Mail Carrier: "Here's your mail" (taking out of slot and handing mail to me). "What's that delicious smell?"

Me: "Cookies, I just took them out of the oven. Would you like one?" (I took his hints and, well, I am a nun).

Mail Carrier: "I'd love one."

So I gave him two cookies. He was most appreciative. Of course there wasn't even any mail for me!! :( ... Mine is all being forwarded from Portland to New Jersey and will be awaiting me on my arrival next Wednesday evening.

it's september

It's September 1st. HOW on earth did that happen???????????

This time last year I was getting ready to become a candidate, but wasn't planning to become a Novice for a few years. You see I had this pesky personal debt that was slowly but surely going away. Then a miracle happened and it went "poof." Now I'm set to leave the Northwest in a mere 5 days to head back to New Jersey for the Congregational Novitiate.

Amazing what God can do with this little thing we call time. I know the next 2 years will fly by.

new identity

So I'm adjusting to this whole being a Sister thing. I'm totally digging having people to pray with every day! Community prayer rocks, in all its simplicity and regularity. It's also nice being "under orders" to rest. I've taken a nap EACH DAY!! Except for yesterday when I baked cookies during my nap time, but that was resting in its own way.

I shipped one last box to myself in New Jersey today. Mostly gifts I got at my rite of reception on Saturday, plus some clothes that were just a little too much for my suitcase. Both Chero (the other west coast novice) and I went to the UPS store together this afternoon. She had more boxes to send so it was quite the excursion. I gave the clerk my Seattle phone number. He punched the numbers in and said "We have a Kathleen at that number, is that an old roommate?" "It's a convent," I found myself saying. He looked up, raised his eyebrows and said ... "Cool." I think he actually meant it.

It's also been an interesting experience to sign my name "Susan Francois, CSJP" on the return address for all my thank you cards. I've got LOADS more thank you cards to write. Portland friends, work people, sisters & associates. Folks have been so generous these past few weeks. Anyway, everytime I wrote my name that way I thought, "Wow, I'm really doing this." God is indeed good ... and mischevious.