musical musings

My blog entries of late have ranged from my experiences of exploring the history of my groovy sisters to random observations from my time here in the UK. What hasn’t been here so much is the deeper journey, which is always so hard to process oneself let alone blog about! So I turn to my trusted friend, the ipod, for some randomly generated inspiration:

Song # 1: So Many Ways by Mates of State

Oh, oh what have you given me?
Nothing and everything

The other day I found myself lying in bed, thinking … Wow. How on earth did I get here? Sleeping in a single bed in a room overlooking a back garden in London, with two other Sisters sleeping in the adjacent rooms. Whenever I stop to think about my journey, really think about it, I am stopped in my tracks. God has given me everything, and yet it’s up to me to take that gift and live it so that it doesn’t become nothing. Part of what I was thinking about that night in bed was, what makes my life now any different from my life before, other than the fact that I’m spending 3 months living in London. How am I living into being a religious sister? A Sister of Peace? How do I bring that to my ministry? How do I bring it into me, while still maintaining my essential Susan-ness? Deep thoughts … but luckily I managed to fall asleep rather than tried to figure it all out.

Song # 2: Teach Your Children Well by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself

They’ve stayed in my prayer day after day lately, those questions. And the answer seems to be that I am on the road, trying to live the Constitutions of the CSJP’s, seeping myself in the history of our community as I get to know our present, living into the future, hoping to become the me God dreams I can be. It’s a journey, and I’m here for this experience as an essential part of that journey.

Song # 3: Crooked Teeth by Death Cab for Cutie

I'm a war, of head versus heart,
And it's always this way.
My head is weak, my heart always speaks,
Before I know what it will say.

Ah … my constant struggle. As an INTJ and a 5 on the enneagram, my head is constantly thinking. Constantly speaking. Constantly trying to overrun the heart. My head seems strong, but really it’s weak. The prayer images that have been returning to me all year have been heart images. Not trying to war with the head, but trying to bring balance to the equation.

Song #4: Crash into Me by Dave Matthews

Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock,
And sweet you roll
Lost for you, I'm so lost for you
Oh, and you come crash into me
And I come into you

Weird how this song I don't really like (mostly because I actually got into car crash shortly after hearing this song on the radio once!) reminds me of the Sacred Heart, which keeps thrusting itself upon me! Hey, I’m even in Sacred Heart Province right now!! Whenever I manage to quiet myself down and open myself to Jesus in silent prayer, I find myself yearning to open my heart to him, to open my heart to all of God’s children, to let down my defenses, to let him crash into me so I can come into him.

Song #5: Yankee Bayonet (I Will be Home Then) by the Decemberists

But oh my love, though our bodies may be parted
Though our skin may not touch skin
Look for me with the sun-bright sparrow
I will come on the breath of the wind

Don’t get me wrong, I have no delusions of being a mystic or anything, and it’s more desire than anything else. But then moments happen in life where the Spirit moves, be it in a sun-bright sparrow or the breath of the wind or the face of one of the clients at the day center or a random moment of the day. God moments.

Song #6: See A Little Light by Bob Mould

Listen, there's music in the air
I heard your voice, coming from somewhere …
I see a little light, I know you will
I can see it in your eyes, I know you still care

Those moments when God breaks through remind us that we are part of something greater than ourselves. They give us light. We can look into the eyes of another human being and see the eyes of Christ. We can hear the voice of a loved one and hear the voice of God. The journey of faith is the journey of life – they are one in the same.

Song #7: Heavy Metal by Clap your Hands Say Yeah

It's been a year and now we find…
What happened to our heavy metal?
What happened to our coat of arms?
We find that we're stuck in the middle
Picking up the pieces of our hearts

My coat of arms is not melted, more than one year into this novitiate experience. The desire to open myself is there, but in a way I am stuck in the middle. But I don’t think I’m picking up the pieces – I think I’m starting to put them together. Balancing community life with ministry and prayer is tricky, which is why it’s great to have these intensive experiences within the novitiate to try it out, make mistakes, live into this life as I continue my discernment journey.

Song #8: Native Son by the Judybats

What have you done
Where have you been
Who do you know
Where have you been
Who do you know?

And when I return, there will be plenty of opportunity with my spiritual director and novice director to reflect on this time. But for now, I think the key is to remain present in the moment over the next month and about a week before I head back to New Jersey.

candy corn

Overheard on the radio this morning as it was playing in the kitchen of the day center:

Speaker #1: I was in America last year on Hallowe'en*, and they give away CORN.

Speaker #2: Corn? [Sounding very dubious]

Speaker #1: Yes, corn.

Speaker #2: That's a bit strange, isn't it?

Speaker #1: Well, it's made out of candy to look like corn. They love the stuff.

At which point I dropped the ladle I was trying to get from above the stove and stopped listening.

For the record ... candy corn is very yummy and extremely addictive. This might just be my first candy corn free Halloween ever (can't remember if I had any the year I lived in Switzerland.) One of my fellow novices did send me some Smarties tough (American Smarties NOT European Smarties which are a sad version of M&M's.)



*Hallowe'en is how they spell it here. Granted I heard rather than read the conversation, but were the speaker to spell the day I'm sure she'd use the "e'en" version.

London by bus

When my friend Beth lived in London eons ago, she commented that when she took the underground she felt like a mole, popping up at location b after having traveled there underground from location a. Being underground, you miss all the sights!

I've been taking the bus for most trips, in part so I can see more of London. Plus it's much cheaper! Only 90p per ride with my Oyster Card (and if I were receiving public benefits it would be half that courtesy of Hugo Chavez and the Venezuelan Government). It's a bit trickier to figure out bus routes, but Transport for London has a great trip planner online.

The other day I took a new bus route to attend a lecture by Rabbi Lionel Blue (he was great by the way and while I'd never heard of him, he is well known here and is apparently a regular on Radio 4). As I walked from my bus stop to the Sion Centre where the talk was, I realized I was walking by Portabello Road in Notting Hill, scene of that great scene in Notting Hill the movie where Hugh Grant takes a melancholy walk down Portabello Road as the seasons pass by. I was early so I took a little detour and walked by the brightly colored antique shops. I even saw a Spike look-alike! The picture is of the character Spike from Notting Hill - not Rabbi Lionel Blue, in case you were wondering. ;)

Today I had to run a few errands after work, so I ended up taking a different bus home than usual and ended up going by the Abbey Road Studios. I'd heard that this particular bus went by the studios, but was wondering if I'd be able to spot it as the bus zoomed by. I shouldn't have worried ... the gaggle of Japanese tourists having their pictures taken outside was a dead give away.

Before boarding that particular bus, I found myself walking through Leicester Square after picking up my ticket for the matinee of Parade tomorrow afternoon (recommended by Bloggy Friend Mollie.) I lost my footing and as I looked down at the ground in an effort to regain my balance, I saw Coling Firth's hand prints. I didn't have my camera with me, but luckily some other Mr. Darcy fan has already put it on the internet.

That's your not so serious random London update for the day.

the ministry continues in a new form

A 1909 Newspaper Report tells of the work of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace at St. Anthony's Orphanage in Grimsby:

In 1889 the Sisters had bought a house ... for the purpose of providing a home for training orphan children ... Accommodation was provided in the orphanage for 100 orphan girls, and at present some 40 were maintained, educated and trained. The Mayor said that he and the Mayoress had had one of the girls, and she turned out a very decent and good girl, with a charming disposition, a girl who would make a very good woman. The orphanage was non-sectarian, and the sisters were non-sectarian in all their works of charity.

St. Anthony's Orphanage closed in 1957, about the time that most orphanages closed as governments sought new ways to work with broken families and at risk children. When I was in Grimsby a few weeks ago, we visited the location of the old orphanage which had been torn down years ago. On the site there is now a "Sure Start Center" that works with expectant parents and families with children under 4 years to make sure that children get the very best start in life. So really, the same sort of work is taking place!

There's a story that between the time St. Anthony's closed and the Sure Start Center opened, there were a number of businesses on the site that all failed. Some people even say that there is a ghost (a Sister of course) who appears at the site. Whether there is any truth to that story, I do find it very fitting that at risk children are still being served where our Sisters started their first orphanage all those years ago.

The new tenants recognize the heritage as well! On the wall in the foyer, they've got a framed picture of the old St. Anthony's Orphanage, as well as a picture of the Sisters with the kids.

The mission begun by the Sisters is now continued by the people of Grimsby! I'm sure those early Sisters are smiling down from heaven.

rome's blessing

Paulist novice Gashwin points out that the Pope's Vicar for the Diocese of Rome "hopes that religious men and women increase their use of information technology, and thus take advantage of what he called a new form of apostolate."

The 76-year-old prelate admitted, "I don’t understand the Internet, but especially young religious ought to enter blogs and correct the opinions of the youth, showing them the true Jesus.” ...

"Simply giving motivations for living defeats nihilism and gives value to the human person, a value that is based on Christ himself, the fact that God became a man."

Read the whole article on Zenit.

I'm not so into the whole idea of correcting other people's opinions, but I do believe that sharing my life experience is a positive statement that perhaps motivates others to find where God is calling them in their own lives.

In any case, nice to see the Vatican realizing the potential of the blogosphere.

remember remember

"Remember remember the fifth of November."

If it weren't for the movie V for Vendetta, I'd be extremely puzzled by the fireworks neighbors have been shooting off the past few nights. As an American, I'm only used to such things around the 4th of July! But luckily I put two and two together and remembered from my cinematic experience that it's almost Guy Fawkes night ... hence the annoying fireworks.

It's an interesting experience being in the midst of a culture that is very much like one's own but yet quite different. Not only do I not always understand colloquial expressions and vocabulary, I also tend to miss out on the pop culture references.

hello

Still here. Feeling a bit under the weather with a cold that won't go away - I think it's the combined effect of being in a new country with all new germs, working with homeless folks who are out in the elements and as such often coughing & sneezing, and being busier than I'd been the previous year. The end result is some coughing & sneezing myself. I also seem to be losing my voice! I did manage to make my way to see a doctor today - I need to be careful with my asthma - and am on medication and taking it easy.

Other than that little snafu, all is well! Autumn is here. The weather is cooler and the trees are changing color and/or dropping leaves. It's also a bit wet and dreary here like Portland, so I'm actually feeling quite at home.

On the TV front, I watched "Strictly Come Dancing" - the original BBC version of our "Dancing with the Stars." I missed my NJ housemates who I always watched that show with. I also caught a bit of Michael Palin's (of Monty Python fame) New Europe - a great show where he travels around countries that were once behind the Iron Curtain. I don't usually watch much tv, but figured it's part of the rest regimen!

Hope all is well in your respective necks of the woods. For me, it's back to my comfy bed and Harry Potter 7 on CD!

The Beginning

On January 7, 1884 Bishop Bagshawe received the vows of the first Sisters of St Joseph of Peace at Nottingham Cathedral. A few days later, he made the journey with them to the town of Grimbsy, on the North Sea, where there was a fledgling Catholic population in need of their services. Whereas they made the journey by train, our little pilgrimage arrived by car!

On arrival, we went to one of our houses where we received wonderful CSJP hospitality. Back in January 1884, our first Sisters arrived at the Church of St. Mary on the Sea which had been completed just one year earlier. They would have walked through this door! Two more Sisters made their vows at St. Mary's a few weeks after their arrival in Grimsby.

The Grimsby Catholic Community was in the minority, and anti-Catholic sentiment was strong. There had also been some recent controversy with the recently departed Pastor at St. Mary's. The Sisters had their work cut out for them!

Margaret Anna Cusack, known in religion as Mother Francis Clare, had made a promise that the first house of the new community would be named after St. Francis Xavier. So, when the Sisters rented a little house around the corner from the Church, it was christened St. Francis Xavier convent. Incidentally, our current house in Grimbsy carries the same name!

The rented house has long since been torn down and replaced by this modern apartment block. We did a little bit of research at the local library, however, and managed to find a listing for St Francis "Savior" Convent at this exact location in the 1886 Street Directory, including a reference to the "Sisters of Peace" and "Mother Francis Clare" as the Superior. The Sisters opened a little school in the rented house and the mission in Grimsby was up and running.

Five years later they moved to a new property down the Street, also named St. Francis Xavier. The Sisters opened a fee-paying school for Young Ladies to help fund their ministry to the poor. We found this property listed in the 1893 Street Directory as "St. Francis School for High-Class Ladies."

This building too was torn down long ago to be replaced by another apartment block. The name continues on, however, as it is called "St. Francis Court."

While we were at the library, we also found the 1891 Census for Grimsby. After a bit of sleuthing (and some wonderful help from Simon the librarian!) we found the page for St Francis Xavier Convent, listing 5 Sisters and 1 housekeeper. Very cool!

You know you're not in America when ...

You know you're not in America when you have NO idea who is in the World Series, but watched the entire Rugby World Cup.

Our first foundation

The first mission of the newly founded Sisters of St Joseph of Peace was begun in January 1884 in the town of Grimbsy, also known as "Great Grimsby" to distinguish it from another town of the same name. This picture is of a postcard that depicts Grimbsy in 1886. In the middle of the picture in the background is St. Mary's Church, where Margaret Anna Cusack and those first Sisters arrived just days after the community's founding, accompanied by Bishop Edward Bagshawe of Nottingham.

When the Sisters of St Joseph of Peace first came to Grimsby in 1884 ... there were only 2 professed members of the Order and the Order itself had yet to be approved by the Vatican. What was lacking in experience and numbers, however, was compensated for by their brand of enthusiasm that the virtues of Faith, Hope and their own brand of Charity would eventually bring Peace. These ideals would have to carry them through many great trials. (From Jacob's Ladder, William Bedford and Michael J. Knight)

Many were the kind things that had been said about these good women. People who came with messages of death spoke of what angels these women had been, and how they had been the one stream of light coming into their lives during very dark days. (Grimbsy Newspaper, 1909).

What is remarkable about both of these accounts of our early days, is that they are written not by our sisters waxing nostalgic, but by the people of Grimsby themselves. It is clear that our Sisters are held in great respect for the work they provided to all people - Catholics and non-Catholics - over the past 100+ years in Grimsby. I'll try to share more of the story over the next few days.

On Pilgrimage ... part 2

Last month I wrote about my pilgrimage to where our founder is buried at Leamington Spa. This weekend we're going on part 2 of our pilgrimage ... to Grimsby. Grimbsy is a seaport on the North Sea. It's also where our first foundation was opened in 1884. I will have the same wonderful tour guides I had for our trip to Leamington, so it promises to be an enjoyable, informative and moving experience.

First we're stopping at the UK Provincial House on Saturday. My housemates have a meeting, whereas my main agenda is to visit with our more senior sisters there and get more of a feel for the place. I'm also hoping to say hi to our Congregation Leaders Sheila & Terry who will also be there for the meeting. We'll head to Grimsby from there and return to London on Monday.

Have a good weekend everyone!

Stand Up Against Poverty

From the Stand Up Against Poverty Website:

In 2000, leaders of 189 countries signed up to the Millennium Development Goals, a global plan to halve poverty by 2015. 50,000 people die as a result of extreme poverty and the gap between the rich and poor is getting wider. We need you to STAND UP and SPEAK OUT to make governments honour their promises.

The promise to end poverty inequality and hunger. The promise to stop children dying from preventable diseases. The promise to ensure basic education for all children, particularly girls. The promise to stop women dying during pregnancy and childbirth. The promise to provide water and sanitation and to protect the environment.

And we need you to STAND UP and SPEAK OUT to make governments honour their commitments on more and better aid, debt cancellation, trade justice, gender equality and public accountability. It will not happen without all of us taking a stand.