12.27.2004

God breaking through

I went on a fabulous long walk on Christmas Eve morning. Two hours. I find walking to be very meditative. With each step the distractions of the world drop away and I move deeper and deeper into "deep thoughts" and conversation with God.

On this particular walk God was able to break through and something I've been struggling with in my discernment just seemed to drop away. I've been purportedly torn between to communities of women religious, but I think I've really just been afraid of what I know deep in my heart. My head seems to get in the way sometimes.

But on this walk, like I said, God broke through. Very fitting on Christmas as we celebrated Emmanuel, God with us. The message I was getting was: Yes it may be risky, but follow your heart. Take the plunge. Explore new waters. Trust in the process. All will be well - all will be better than well. God has wonderful things in store for you.

So I'm sitting with this idea, this possible discernment of community. As luck would have it I'm set to visit with some sisters from this community next weekend. Will need to pay particular attention to what my heart (and God) is telling me as I spend time with them.

All in all though a pretty amazing Christmas gift, having God break through like that and in turn help me break through to a new stage in my discernment.

Funny business this.


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