No, this is not the obligatory July 4 post. Although of course it is the 4th of July which I guess is why I’m thinking about this, it being independence day and all. A day when we celebrate throwing off the shackles of monarchy and being able to drink tea without paying a tax by blowing things up. As a resident of sales-tax-free-Oregon I still get to drink tea without paying tax, unlike the rest of you….
Instead, this is going to be a rambling post with thoughts about obedience. Many moons ago when I thoroughly dismissed, repeatedly, the idea of a vocation to religious life my main stumbling block was that pesky vow of obedience thing. Why on earth would I want to give up my independence? Why would I let other people tell me what to do? As my niece Eileen would say, “That’s crazy talk.” Obviously my thinking has evolved on this and I think it centers on community. It’s in community that we really find the freedom to be who we were meant to be – working together to discern God’s will.
They say of course that no man (or woman) is an island. There’s a great scene at the beginning of the movie About a Boy where Will, played by a particularly cute Hugh Grant, disputes this notion. He is an island, thank you very much, and he likes it that way. Of course it’s lonely being an island, so he has to play the role of island cruise director, splitting his day up into manageable units. Television game shows, salon appointments, magazine reading. He’s free, he’s independent, but to what purpose? Slowly Will opens himself up to another human being in the form of a marvelous 13 year old boy named Marcus and Will finds purpose. By the end of the film Will has a community of people who need him. And he needs them. He has moved from pointless independence to meaningful interdependence.
Likewise, I can see the glimmers of how by being part of a community of women, rooted in God and the peace that comes from Christ, I’ll finally find the freedom to be who I am meant to be and work to help bring about God’s reign. Sure at the moment I’m free to do whatever I want, with no one but myself to consider (to a point – none of us is after all an island). But like Will, to what purpose? We are called to be in relationship, to God and one another. My married bloggy friends out there I’m sure get this. In a marriage, you are interdependent. You come together to form a family and your motives and perspective changes.
So rather than feeling turned off by the idea of obedience, I find myself intrigued by it and filled with hope. The groovy sisters’ Constitutions sum it up pretty nicely: “The spirit of obedience requires that individually and together we search actively to know God’s call to us as revealed through scripture, the people and events of our world, the concerns of the church, and our charism of peace.” There’s an active voice there, not passive acceptance.
Random thoughts over.
Happy interdependence day everyone!
6 comments:
Happy Interdependence Day to you, too!
As they say, there is definitely strength in numbers. In community there is so much more you can do, and be supported doing it.
(And I'm just in a little ol' married community of two!)
I definitely get it.
It's such a fine line, isn't it- your independence and the independence of others. What happens when one's independence starts to infringe on another's? What is it that makes us really free these days? No sooner do I give up one thing that I feel will make me less dependent upon it that something else comes into my life to make me dependent on it! Freedom sure is tricky! Thanks for the great post, Susan!
Jesus said to the Apostles, "You are my friends, if you keep my commands." And there does seem to be this strange connection between obedience and friendship. Indeed, the first Jesuits chose to vow obedience to one of their number because they didn't want to be separated, but retain their bonds of friendship! I once thought that obedience would be the most difficult of the vows for me. But I've come to realize that for me, for various reasons--and not just because I can't have sex with someone--chastity is tougher. But the graces that come with ALL the vows are worth it!
Peace,
Mark
Thanks everyone for the comments. There's a lot to this, and I know as I continue in my discernment I'll just get deeper into it.
Mark, thanks for sharing your perspective. It is funny how we think one thing will be difficult, but then it turns out to be something else. I'm still kind of amazed at the idea that at the moment at least, I'm intrigued and open to all 3 vows. I can see their purpose. I can see what they would bring to my life. Of course, I'm still at least 3 years from taking even temporary vows so who knows where my discernment will lead. More blog entries for one thing, I suppose....
And I get how chastity, contrary to common belief, might be difficult not just because of the sex part. Companionship & deep intimacy with just one other person is a very human desire - sex or no sex.
Tricky stuff this ... gues that's a good reason for the long discernment/formation process, huh?
Happy Interdepedence Day to you too. Okay it's the 5th of July post, but I just got back from 4th of july festivities. This is just a rambling comment to your About A Boy analogy. For a long time right through my twenties I was "bloody Ibiza" and it wasn't until the past two years that I find myself back in the community of my very extensive extended family and most recently back in the Catholic Church after being a non-practicing Catholic for the past 20 years. My stumbling block right now is just going to confession. Yes I do see the irony of having a blog to spill my guts in, and my fear of confession. I've rambled on too long.
Hi Lenora! Thanks for the comment.
And happy to have my about a boy reference make sense to somebody!
I had the confession block too when I first came back to the church (after 10 years away). I started by going to advent & lent reconciliation services at my parish. The communal experience made sense to me and was much less "scary." You might want to keep an eye out for one of those.
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