fashion obsession

The blogger formerly known as Omis has unmasked himself as the future Jesuit novice Jason. He's also been struggling with if/how/when to share this news with his coworkers.

Even though my nun news was printed in a local weekly paper a few months ago, I still find myself telling at least one random acquaintance each & every day (people important to me, I told ages ago). Seriously - I find myself explaining my vocational path every day on the bus, on the phone, at the coffee shop, on the street corner. I've blogged about a few of the more memorable moments (and you can read them by clicking on the "Bean Spilling Chronicles" drop down menu in the side bar). But seriously, there are too many to count or write about.

One thing that has begun to just annoy me - and which I'm guessing I need to start getting used to - is the focus on one element of my future life as a woman religious. The # 1 question is not "how did you know God was calling you to be a Sister", or "what sort of ministry do you think you will do", or even "do people still do that", but rather different variations of the fashion question:

-Will you wear a habit?
-Will you wear a uniform?
-What will you wear?
-You won't be one of those pants wearing nuns will you? (yes … jeans even!)

Sometimes if I'm feeling generous I politely explain that my community is an active apostolic order and chooses to wear simple clothing like the people we work with (and that the traditional habits were once the simple dress of an earlier age). But the question persists, as do the strong opinions. I think it comes down to an odd mix of an American cultural obsession with the habited nun (after all you can buy nun salt & paper shakers and fire-breathing-nun-themed toys) with a desire to know who the nuns are by sight so they can be sure to be on their best behavior around them. And most of these folks are not Catholic, so maybe that's a factor too.

I'm not intending this post to turn into a comment free-for-all on the value of wearing simple dress versus habits. Different strokes for different folks. I think there are plus sides to both, depending on what ministry you are called to. Hence, no habit for me. I do intend to wear my community's peace cross. And I've started to come around to the idea of one day introducing myself as "Sister Susan" and being very open about my vocational status. I might even dress a little nicer at times! But I find it so odd that people are so obsessed with not the how/what/ why but the "What will you wear" question. How many jobs/life paths are there that the number one question is what you'll wear? It's especially odd considering how many other questions there are to ask!! I suppose another element of it could be that they are so mystified as to the what/why, they stick with what they understand (nun fashion).

So, it's a bit exhausting truth be told. But people have heard the "Susan's becoming a nun" rumors and they're curious. Or they've just heard that I'm leaving the City and ask why. And I want to be honest and truthful … I'm excited and proud of the path my life is taking. I also think it's good for people to know that it is possible to follow your heart, answer God's call, whatever that may be.

Maybe I'll write another post about a different phenomenon I've discovered … people wanting to share their spiritual stories/journeys with me. That and asking me random religion related questions. If I'm becoming a Sister, I must know … right?

But for now, off to my last Pax Christi meeting. I'm hoping to formally pass the coordinator baton tonight.

morning appointments

I had an early morning appointment at the dentist today. I was overdue for my cleaning, plus the dental health report is one of the few items outstanding on my groovy sister application. I of course needed to tell them WHY I needed the report. The hygienist and dentist were less fascinated than my doctor and her medical assistant. Interested yes, but more interested in my teeth. It was a change from the normal requests they have for dental reports - military and peace corps being the most common. As she was leaving the room, my dentist did say: "Well, I guess that goes to show there's no such things as just running off to join the convent anymore. You need to apply for it just like for everything else." And then the hygienist said, "Yeah, I guess you can't just drop your troublesome daughter off at the convent either." I luckily had hands and metal tools in my mouth so I couldn't do anything more than grunt in response.

Tomorrow moring I take the car in for an overdue oil change and whomping willow damage repair.

PS - To avoid future spam related repair, I've added bloggers new word verification to my comments. Try it out. Pretty painless as far as I can see.

brazilian coffee break

I was in the kitchen at work getting my morning coffee. A coworker (who is from Brazil and as he says, "hears with an accent") started telling me a story about going to a celebration this past weekend for a friend, another Brazilian, that was held at a local Benedictine Monastery. He was in the kitchen with his friends cooking, when an 85-90 year old nun walked in and said, are you from Brazil? They said yes, and she started telling them about when she ministered in Brazil 40 years before and how she loved this one drink made from a special Brazilian rum. They told her they had it. She asked if she could have a sip. My friend's friend told her that she deserved a whole cup, but first he had to ask her a question. Would he go to heaven? She told him if she could have a whole cup, she'd pray for him every day until her last.

Now, this was granted, a funny story. However, I was a bit puzzled. Was he telling me the story because I'm a fellow Catholic? Did he know my nun-news and thought it was a way to get me to tell him? (I haven't broadcast it yet to the whole office - good friends know, but I figured I'd wait at least until I'm accepted as a candidate to tell everyone.) Or was he just being the quintessential weird Brazilian guy in the office?

I was mulling this over and figured it was that he was angling for me to tell him my nun-news (with a bit of the last one too!). So I went into his office and asked, "I can't remember, have I told you my news yet?". He looked at me expectantly but with a purposefully blank face, "No." So I told him. "Good for you, if that's what you feel called to do," he said. And then proceeded to tell me about his cousin in Brazil who's been a nun for 30 years but is leaving now because she's not happy with the way her order is going.

Hmmmm…. all I wanted was some morning coffee to wake up and face piles of administrative rules that need writing!

So now, that's what I'll do. Have a good day everyone!

this one was different

I just got a brand new reaction to my “nun-news” as I’m starting to think of it. As regular readers know, I’ve been slowly telling folks that I’m discerning a religious vocation. Those that are important to me I told many moons ago. But general acquaintances I tell as the Spirit moves. Most often in response to the question, “What’s new with you?”. I almost always catch them completely unawares, and their reactions are interesting.

I got a new one this evening. I ran into a friend I haven’t seen in a while at the grocery store. She asked what was new. I told her. Her reaction ... Well, I know I can’t do it justice but it went something like this. “You know, one of the things that saddens me in the life is that my life went in the direction of a husband and kids.” I looked at her. “I mean, I always thought I’d become a nun. Don’t all Catholic girls.” I continued to look at her. “But you know, boys got in the way and I knew that the two didn’t go together. So there you have it. But good for you.” All said in a straight faced completely matter of fact voice.

Very interesting. Not only did this Catholic girl not think she’d become a nun, she ran away from the thought whenever it crept into her mind. And now look at her - sharing her "nun-news" in the dairy aisle of her grocery store.

fascinated by the fascination

I’m fascinated by how fascinated some people are by this path I’m on. Today I had my physical. I was due for a physical anyway, but I also needed one for my groovy sisters application which I needed to explain to my doctor and her nurse as I had a special medical report form I need filled out.

Well, they were fascinated. My doctor decided to wait until the MOST inopportune and awkward time of the exam (women will know which part I’m talking about, men can guess) to start grilling me. "Will you be making a lifetime commitment? What type of work will you do? Will you wear a habit? Will you be sent off to far flung places? What kind of training is there." All this while I was in a not very comfortable position. It did take my mind off things which was probably part of the point.

Her nurse was so seemingly astounded, she couldn’t formulate questions. While she was checking my temperature and later my blood pressure and later taking blood, all she said was "Wow, you’re going to become a nun." I decided this was no time to try to explain that nuns are sisters but not all sisters are nuns. Just said, "Yep, that’s the plan anyway."

Funny

another spilling the beans episode

I have another reaction to report! I was talking with someone at work and ending up spilling the beans about my news….

I've been working off and on with J for a few years now on this giant project I'm implementing. She's not a City employee but is an activist and expert in the field. Anyway, we were talking about implementation. I mentioned that I'll be here for the first phase but depending on how things go I'll probably be leaving the City by the fall of 2006 or 2007. She then asked the logical question, "Oh, what are you moving on to?".

Now what I know of J outside of our professional interactions is that she's not religious in any way shape or form. She's left leaning politically and very socially liberal. It seemed like a natural enough time to share the news and we've always been pretty friendly. My general rule on thumb for telling people so far has been, does it seem more awkward NOT to tell them? So I did. I was also interested to see what her reaction was.

Her response fits into the positive reaction category of non-Catholics who don't really have much interaction with the Church in general but have vague notions that Sisters do cool social justice type things. Often times they'll bring up Sr. Helen Prejean of Dead Man Walking Fame. In this case, J mentioned a Sister Mary something she worked with years ago on farmer's rights issues in Minnesota. They usually make some comment about it seems to make sense for me to combine my faith and my social justice work. No questions about the details … that usually comes later after the initial shock wears off.

So all in all a positive spilling the beans episode. Now I just need to sit back and see if it moves through the grapevine of this particular crowd!