The application

I'm quite happy with my current ministry. Sure there are some growing pains involved in anything new, but it's so great to be spending my time and energy where my passion is - working to build a world of peace through justice.

It's just as well, then, that I'm not vying for a position in the Obama Administration! Have you seen the application questionnaire for potential applicants? It's 7 pages long! Here are just SOME of the questions that would most likely raise red flags ... if, that is, I were actually qualified (and interested) in the first place!

(8) Briefly describe the most controversial matters you have been involved in during the course of your career.
I was once named "Rogue of the Week" by a local weekly paper - back in my bureaucrat days. Of course, two weeks later they ran a short article detailing my plan to become a nun.

(10) Writings: Please list, and if readily available, provide a copy of each book, article, column or publication (including but not limited to any posts or comments on blogs or other websites) you have authored, individually or with others. Please list all aliases or "handles" you have used to communicate on the internet.
Would they seriously want a copy of 4 years of blog posts? How about high school newspaper articles? I've written lots of letters to the editor over the years - who knows where & when. I don't know that I could track everything down, even if I wanted to!

(11) Testimony: Please identify each instance in which you have testified before Congress or other legislative, administrative, investigative or regulatory body, and specify the subject matter of the testimony. If available, please provide summaries or transcripts of your testimony.
I testified before City Council numerous times for work and a few times as a Citizen. Who remembers the details? Not me, although I suppose there's some record buried in the City archives.

(12) Speeches: Please identify any speeches you have given. If available please provide the text or recordings of each such speech or identify any recordings of speeches of which you are aware.
Does the 8th Grade Knights of Columbus Speech Contest Count? I did win after all! How about 3 years of Toastmasters? I bet they'd really love my "How to make bagels" demonstration speech, or my humorous speech comparing my life as a then 30 year old single woman to the life of Bridget Jones.

(13) Electronic communications: If you have ever sent an electronic communication, including but not limited to an email, text message, or instant message, that could suggest a conflict of interest or be a possible source of embarrassment to you, your family, or the President-Elect if it were made public, please describe.
Are the expecting people to apply who have never sent an electronic communication???? I'm sure there's something embarrassing in cyberspace about almost anyone - embarrassment of course is in the eye of the beholder. I know I e-mailed pictures of myself dressed up as Vegas Elvis in a white jumpsuit - Halloween a few years back. That was embarrassing to me at least!

(14) Diaries: If you keep or have ever kept a diary that contains anything that could suggest a conflict of interest or be a possible source of embarrassment to you, your family, or the President-Elect if it were made public, please describe.
I'm in deep trouble here, although I do have them all in one box under my bed that I could burn if needed! There's certainly embarrassing stuff in there ... after all, I have my diary from when I was 13! The great skating rink controversy of 1985 would certainly be embarrassing if it was made public.

(42) Please list any lawsuits you or your spouse have brought as a plaintiff or which were brought against you or your spouse as a defendant or third party, or in which you or your spouse have testified at trial or deposition. Include in this response any arbitrations, mediations, and contested divorce proceedings or other domestic relations matters.
Again, who remembers? I was sued - in my professional capacity - a number of times. We always ended up in the clear and I know there are records somewhere, but I've blocked it all out.

(43) Please list and describe any administrative agency proceedings in which you or your spouse have been involved as a party or material witness, and describe the details of your involvement.
See above....

(55) Have you paid all taxes and social security obligations applicable to the employment of [domestic help]?
Well, I've never hired domestic help so I'd be ok with this question. But, I've been on the other end, a few times! I spent a few years in college working as a part-time nanny for some well to do families - I was always paid under the table.

(57) If applicable, please list the names, addresses and phone numbers of cohabitants within the last ten years. A cohabitant is a person with whom you share bonds of affection, obligations, or other commitment, as opposed to a person with whom you live for reasons of convenience (a roommate).
Would they want the names and relevant info for every Sister I've lived with the past 4 years? We certainly share bonds of affection, obligations & commitment!

I was reminded of the seemingly strenuous application process I went through three and half years ago to enter the community. In comparison, it's a piece of cake! It's just as well I'm not interested because surely one of these torrid episodes from my college days, bureaucratic past or life as a woman religious would disqualify me!