six years later

Yesterday was my sixth mother's day since my mom died. I was thinking it was the fifth but I've just done the math (not my strong suit) and I think it was the sixth!

The first few were really hard, and made even harder by the conveniences of modern technology. You see, my mom had been really sick for a few years. To cheer her (and me) up, I spent loads of money on flowers during those years. I'd order them online and they would magically appear in her hospital room the next day. It was a way of being there even though I was 3,000 miles away.

I'd scour the internets each time to make sure I got the best deal price wise. As a result, about 4 online florists knew that I was in the habit of sending flowers to my mother. Do you see what's coming?? For the first few Mother's Days after she died, my e-mail box would fill up with messages like ... "Susan, don't forget your mother on Mother's Day!" or "Susan, it's not too late to put a smile on your mother's face." The thing was, it was. To send them that is. I never forgot that it was Mother's Day. I missed her too much to forget.

The e-mails have stopped coming, and these days I almost forget that it's Mother's Day. Except that some of my friends are having breakfast in bed courtesy of their pint sized offspring, and other friends are talking about sending flowers to their mother. That's when I remember ....

This year, I spent Mother's Day weekend with my godson and his mom/my friend in Portland. It was a perfect way to spend the weekend. I drove back to Seattle on Mother's Day itself, but I decided to take my time and meander about. I stopped off in Woodland, Washington for a Burgerville lunch. If you've never been to Burgerville, you don't know what you're missing!!

Then I decided to stop off at Lilac Days at the Hulda Klager Lilac Gardens, also in Longview. I always see the sign when I drive by, and I'd never been. Plus I figured the Lilacs were probably in full bloom. They were ... and so were the parties of mothers and children celebrating the day. Even though it was exactly the sort of outing my mother would have loved, and here I was alone surround by mothers and daughters and even mothers and sons, I wasn't sad or melancholy. In fact, it almost felt like my mom was there, strolling through the fragrant lilac beds, soaking in the fragrance. I often feel my mother's presence, but yesterday it was in a special way. As friend, companion, and co-conspirator. Just like old times. A nice way to spend Mother's Day!


Anonymous said...

Death cannot break the bond of your relationship. You
carry those relationships in your heart forever. I'm happy that you had a nice day.God Bless...

Garpu said...

Bleh, I'm sorry.

littlemissattitude said...

This was my first Mother's Day since my mother passed in December.

Coward that I am, I ran away from home for the weekend. Sitting and staring at the walls and missing my mother would not be good for my mental health.

So, on Saturday I did the Mommy Memorial Trip to Disneyland. You see, Disneyland was my mother's favorite place in the world. She had dementia and cancer, and even when she couldn't remember much of anything else and couldn't get around at all, she would still ask if we could go to Disneyland. So If figured that a trip to the Park on Mother's Day weekend, in memory of my mother and all the good times we had there, would be completely appropriate.

And, you know, I'm so glad I went. The memories were good, I had a good time (and met some very cool people), and I didn't drive myself crazy sitting home alone and brooding.

I'm thinking that, if the budget can stand it, the Mommy Memorial Trip to Disneyland just might become an annual thing.

Tess said...

I always forget that mothers day is a couple of months later in the States than it is in the UK.

But like you, I remember my mother then, even though she died nineteen years ago.

As anonymous said, the bonds don't break.

Judy Vaughan-Sterling said...

I just had my 14th Mother's Day without my mom. But in church we prayed for all our mothers, both those living and those who have gone on before. It helps a bit, but it will never be quite the same.



Andrew said...

I'm glad you had a nice Mother's Day remembering your mom. My mom is still with us, but my dad passed away almost 6 years ago. I feel like I've finally gotten to the point where I can enjoy his presence, and his memory, without always feeling melancholy. It's taken a while to get to that point.

I live in Federal Way, and make frequent trip to Portland to visit my mom. Our Burgerville of choice is the one in Centralia!

I have been meaning to get to a retreat, or just visit your beautiful St. Mary on the lake sometime soon. It looks like this time of year would be gorgeous.