Soundtrack of My Life - Caught in Love

It’s time for another Belle & Sebastian moment in the soundtrack of my life … this one a little less sinister. It’s captures the moment when I realized that implausible and crazy as it seemed, maybe God WAS calling me to some sort of religious vocation. And even more implausible and crazy was the incredible light and joy I felt when I seriously considered the possibility!

The moment takes place is in my beloved (and long gone) 2002 black Honda civic, driving to the Oregon Coast. I’d had a series of meetings with spiritual director/vocation director type folks to help sort out all these crazy thoughts and needed to get out of town. Plus, I’ve always found that the ocean really helps me to let God break through all the stuff I put in the way.

Anyway, I was driving through the Gifford Pinchot forest on my way to the coast when “If You Find Yourself Caught in Love” by Belle & Sebastian played on car stereo:

If you find yourself caught in love
say a prayer to the man above
thank him for everything you know
you should thank him for every breath you blow

If you find yourself caught in love
say a prayer to the man above
thank him for every day you pass
you should thank him for saving your sorry ass …

But If you don’t listen to the voices then my friend
You’ll soon run out of choices
What a pity it would be
You’re talking freedom don’t you see
The only freedom that you’ll ever really know
Is written in books from long ago
Give up your will to Him that loves you
Things will change, I’m not saying overnight
You’ve got to start somewhere

I can’t tell you how many times I’d listened to that song … and yet for the first time it seemed I heard the words-- you've got to start somewhere. And as I heard them, a light broke through the clouds of the forest and the crazy seemed less crazy. When I put aside all my well reasoned ideas why it was crazy that I of all people was being called to become a Sister, when I quieted all the voices that said “No,” the sound of the call was so clear, as was the “Yes” of my heart. Somehow, this song helped me to get to that moment. More than once actually. I’ve often wondered what the songwriters would think if they knew that this peppy little ditty played a major role in my decision to become a woman religious and be caught in love!

1 comment:

Sr. Ann Marie said...

Great post. Thanks for sharing that story!