I was remembering a former spiritual director of mine the other day. She was an amazing woman, very insightful, and an important companion on my own journey. She was also very intense and Christ focused. Often she would ask, with feeling: "Where is Jesus in this? Have you talked to Jesus?"
Today's Gospel story from John reminds me of her. It is the one where Jesus arrives at his friends' house (Mary, Martha, and Lazarus) after Lazarus has died. In Martha's eyes, Jesus was not there when they needed him. And so she tells him:
“Lord, if you had been here,
my brother would not have died.
But even now I know that whatever you ask of God,
God will give you.”
my brother would not have died.
But even now I know that whatever you ask of God,
God will give you.”
I love the juxtaposition of her real, human, and heartfelt frustration, anger, and grief with her belief in and love for Jesus.
She doesn't hide behind false piety. She doesn't break the relationship. She stays with it and talks to Jesus. She doesn't exactly know how things will work out. But she knows that it is important to bring it all to Jesus.
My spiritual director would have been proud.
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