2.20.2005

Prayer helps

I'm getting a cold. Trying to fight it off by resting (imagine that, resting on the Lord's Day) and taking a vitamin concoction called Airborne. I mentioned to a friend at church I was going to home to rest in the hopes of not getting "the cold," and she yelled after me "Prayer helps too you know."

I'll admit, it hadn't dawned on me to take my cold to prayer. Can't hurt. Although I've been busily praying for other things lately. Humility and gentleness to name a few. I've been noticing a dedided lack of that lately in my life and my interactions with others. I so desire to be a person of peace, to have a gentle spirit, to include people, respect their opinions and foster their involvement. Reality is often far from that, especially lately. Wanting to change is a big step. But without help from the big guy (and my friends calling me on my not so gentle actions) I know it won't happen.

So with that self-perspective sheepishness, being afraid to be around people (both because of the cold and afraid to accidentally hurt someone's feelings) and being tired, the "glow" of taking the first step to becoming a Sister some day is pretty low voltage. To the point when people with whom I've shared the news express their excitement, I find it hard to show excitement in return.

Don't get me wrong, I AM excited and know this is the right direction for me. I also know though that it's going to be a long journey, at times I'll be tired and wonder what the hell I'm thinking. Especially when I catch myself being human and not being the nice, humble gentle person I long to be. But luckily we're not just relying on me here. God's in the mix. Thank God. or as C-3PO would say, "thank the maker."

Peace,
Susan

2 comments:

Sylvia said...

You might get a kick out of this. The INTJ prayer: "Lord, keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be!"

Susan Rose, CSJP said...

I am indeed an INTJ. And could use the prayer! Thanks