just tell me how it ends

You might remember about a month ago I wrote about two friends from church who had brain tumors. One had a miraculous recovery and is back in full force. The other passed away last week, and I’ve just returned from her funeral mass.

Funerals are tricky business for me since my mom’s in October 2003. Since then I’ve been to three funerals. One for my friend’s one year old baby who died in a tragic accident. One for the father of a friend of mine. One for a lovely lady from church named Margaret. And now Irene’s.

They were all Catholic funerals. We Catholics do funerals well. Other traditions do to in their own way, I’m sure. I’m more familiar with the Catholic way and we know how to do rituals. The incense, the songs, celebrating the Eucharist, remembering Christ as we remember our loved one. Funerals are for the living. They are cathartic. They help us to remember the one who has passed on, and to realize that they will continue to be present to us in the communion of saints.

I was shocked to learn that Irene was 83!!!! I would have though she was 73 at most. She had a smile that was ever-present. She had grown up in the parish but continued to grow with the parish. She welcomed everyone. The church was packed ... which as her nephew noted in the eulogy said something about Irene. For a single woman with no children to have a packed house at her funeral says something about the impact she had on the world.

My favorite bit of the eulogy. Irene was diagnosed in June with terminal brain cancer and chose to die naturally without further treatment. Towards the end her family was with her, reading scripture. After a few lines, she asked them to stop and read her the new Harry Potter instead. After 3 chapters, she said, “Just tell me how it ends.” She died a few days later. ... I love that she asked that question, and died knowing what happened.