10.02.2005

come hither

Flashback. January 24, 2004. Parish Retreat. From my journal:

Earlier when Sr. L (retreat facilitator) asked us to sit silently, she didn’t say to let thoughts pass by as I’ve heard in other meditations. Rather she said if a thought keeps coming back hold on to it, honor it as it is the Holy Spirit knocking.

And the thought or thoughts that kept knocking were all related to how I feel called to serve God, to serve Christ in others, to give my talents to the world in some way that will help to make it more the kingdom of God on earth. It is a call to be honest I’ve always heard. It is why I decided to work on peace & justice in the parish. The call may just be to do these things in my every day life, or it could be a call to something much larger, life changing, and scary.

Do I feel able to answer this call wherever it takes me? I don’t know. What I do know is that when I do, I am filled with the strength and energy of the Holy Spirit. Literally sometimes. And it can be quite scary. Which leads me to the words in the song we just heard that I’d like to reflect on ... “The Summons.”

‘Will you come and follow me if I but call your name?
Will you go where you don’t know and never be the same?
Will you let me love be shown
Will you let my name be known
Will you let my life be grown in you and you in me? ...

Will you love the you you hide if I but call your name?
Will you quell the fear inside and never be the same?
Will you use the faith you’ve found
to reshape the world around
through my sight and touch and sound
in you and you in me?’

I hope the answer is yes, I pray for the answer to be yes. But it is hard and scary all the same. And hard to know what the call exactly is. But like I said, I plan to reflect on this and open my heart to the Holy Spirit.”

Flash forward to October 1, 2005 .... “The Summons” was the song used in my Ritual of Welcome with the Sisters of St Joseph of Peace. Talk about symmetry. Unplanned symmetry. But then again, that’s how the spirit works.

This moment of clarity about God’s call that January took a while to sink in. Denial is a hard place to find one’s way out of. But one of the many good things about God ... God is very patient with us. And this weekend I truly felt the last verse of the song in my heart.

Lord your summons echoes true
When you but call my name
Let me turn and follow you
And never be the same
In your company I’ll go
Where your love and footsteps show
Thus I’ll move and live and grow in you and you in me.

2 comments:

Steph said...

"The Summons" is one of the songs that just "happens" to be planned for Mass during some of our Benedictine Life Weekends when our vocation director is in charge of music for the day. Although, she always claims that "it fits with the readings" .... we all think it's a scam!

My whole journey to here has been that "unplanned symmetry," so I know exactly what you mean. Kinda interesting in retrospect, huh?

Cool to see your updated "About Me" too!

AveMaria1 said...

That song has been used at many discernment retreats I've attended.