fear

Had a Homer Simpson moment on the walk from the bus stop to work this morning.

My early morning readings led me to posts by Mark Mossa & Steve Bogner on Fear.

Fear has always been a big one for me. Unlike a friend of mine I'm not afraid of opening the shower curtain to find a knife wielding stranger. My fears are more of the unknown of everyday life. Of not being able to control my destiny. Of wondering how on earth everything can possibly all work out. And so the antidote to my fear problem has been trust. Trusting in God.

As I shared on Steve's blog I've got a little mantra that goes along the lines of "Fear is the opposite of trust. So trust, stupid!." Not the most positive of mantras, but it helps when I’m heading down the dark and windy road of the fear spiral. A reminder is sometimes all I need, which is why I programmed the message that welcomes me when I turn on my cell phone to say "Trust in God" many moons ago. It always surprises me when I read that, every morning. I forget that easily, I suppose.

Back to the D'oh moment. I've had this situation in my life - not work or discernment related, but another big part of my life - that has caused me much anxiety, which I find is related to my issues with fear/trust. The D'oh moment was an obvious, "You're not in charge. Do what you can do and trust in God to sort it all out." With all the energy I've given to this situation, and all the time I've spent praying over it, I wonder if I've ever really trusted in God or thought that Super-Susan somehow had to help fix it all. For that split second of walking into the doors at work, I did trust that God knew what God was doing and would somehow get us where we need to be. It was a nice feeling.