12.01.2005

remembering

Tomorrow (Dec 1) would have been my mom’s 71st birthday. It is true what "they" say, anniversaries are hard when you’ve lost a loved one. Birthdays, death days, and holidays. But at the same time, as each anniversary passes by and you realize how much you miss that special person, you also realize that life does indeed go on. Different, but on it marches. Sometimes in marvellous and wondrous ways that you wish you could share with your loved one.

I’m a little bit behind on this project, but when my mom was dying she was very concerned that she wouldn’t be able to finish the memory books she was making for each of us kids for our 40th birthday. I promised to finish them for her. My brother’s 40th birthday was in September and I’m still working on the book, but I figure I have the birthday year to get it done!

Before we sold the family house, I went through my mom’s pictures and papers to find the bits and pieces to go into the memory books for my brother, sister and eventually me. What I discovered was that she kept everything. Every note we wrote from camp. Report cards. Boy scout badges. Self portraits. Even my class ring order form. And birthday card after birthday card crafted by little hands for Mom. Knowing that she kept them all those years, holding them in my hands made me realize how important we were to her. How much she loved us and how much we loved her. Sitting there on my parents’ bed, sorting through the various and sundry mementos, I felt her love reach out across the divide and envelope me in warmth and security.

Writing this, teary eyed, I feel it still. And again. Anniversaries are a time to miss those who have passed on. They are also a time to realize life moves on. But even more, they are a time to stop and remember the love that was and to feel deeply the love that still is.

PS - December 1 is my day for the Revgalblogpal Advent book project. Didn't buy the book? You can read my reflection here - it continues the Mom theme.

6 comments:

lorem ipsum said...

Thank you for memorializing your mom as she memorialized your childhood, by holding on and remembering the good things.

They say that birthdays don't count in heaven, but we still here on earth know and they exist for our sake. I wish you peace on this day. You already feel her love.

Emily said...

thanks so much for that reflection, it really meant a lot to me. My father died six months ago and he won't be there for my 21st birthday. Time does go on, but the pain takes quite a bit longer.

Anonymous said...

Dear Sister in Christ, Susan Rose,

Your tribute to your mother touched my heart. She was a lovely soul and loving mother. You were truly blessed -- and still are, with all your beautiful memories.

She is interceding for you.

Your writing prompted me to remember and pray for my father. Although it is over five years since he passed, I miss him.


Thank you for sharing your musings. God bless you.

In God's Light,
Peace

Steph Youstra said...

I thought of you when I read the book .... much peace to you, friend.

soul-seeker said...

Thank you so much for your insightful post.

I wish you well.

Sue said...

Sorry to post so late in the week about your Advent offering in A Light Blazes....

I was at my office when I read it, just preparing for the day ahead and it touched me in so many ways. Your gentle prose and fond memories of your mother brought back memories of my own mom (she died 14 years ago).

Thanks for setting the tone for my day in such a beautiful way.