choosing God ... again ... and again ... and again

It's been quite a while since I've utilized (or shared here) one of my secret tools of the spiritual life. There are times when we find ourselves completely overwhelmed or at a loss. If you ever find yourself in such a space, I recommend picking up the Inner Voice of Love by Henri Nouwen. Peruse the table of contents. Something WILL jump out at you. Flip to that page and let his wisdom pierce your soul. It always works for me.

Today it was this:

"Keep Choosing God

... You can choose to remember this time as a failed attempt to be completely reborn, or you can also choose to remember it as the precious time when God began new things in you that need to be brought to completion. Your future depends on how you decide to remember your past. Choose for the truth of what you know. As you keep choosing God, your emotions will gradually give up their rebellion and be converted to the truth in you.

... Remember, you are held safe. You are loved. You are protected. You are in communion with God and with those whom God has sent you. What is of God will last. It belongs to the eternal life. Choose it, and it will be yours.

This fits a thought I've had since reading this Sunday's Gospel about the call of the fishers of people, dropping their nets and following Jesus. The first part of the thought was I sure wish it was "that easy" today, for me. That I could just drop the nets that I'm so anxious and ready to drop (my job) and follow Jesus and my heart to Seattle and my new life with my groovy sisters. This living in two world, having two lives thing is complicated. But our friends on the shore of Gallillee didn't really just drop everything and go. They had family. They had connections. They had loose ends to worry about too. But they chose God. Which helped me to realize that's really what it's about. Choosing to follow God each and every day. Even for our friends written about in books so long ago. They had to make that choice every day when they woke up. And so do I. For the rest of my life. And Henri's words help with that, as they always do. I can do this. We can do this thing called life. "What is of God will last. Choose it and it will be yours."