may I bend in the wind

My work environment is often stressful and occasionally high profile. Lately it’s been in the extremes on both measurements. I usually try not to blog much about work. I definitely don’t desire to include details about people or the specifics of what I do. But I must admit to you, my bloggy confessional, that I’m having a hard time with it all right now. A combination of factors is making it quite difficult for me to keep in good spirits during what is always an extremely busy time of year. With all that’s been going on the last few weeks, it’s seems almost impossible.

The end result is that I’ve been working LONG hours and I’ve been doing the best I can do. But I am not perfect and yes, I sometimes make mistakes. Which is fun when you’re working in a high profile fish bowl, let me tell you!

I’m also finding it hard not to be resentful that I’m spending so much extra time at work, when this is the time I’d like to be spending with my good friends. You see, I’ll be leaving Portland in a mere five months for groovy-sister-training. And while that’s a wonderfully exciting development, I wish I could spend this time deepening those bonds with good friends. Instead I think it’s going to be spent dealing with mounds of work crap. And, oh yeah, I have to figure out what to do with an apartment full of stuff!

Ugghhh… Thanks for reading my vent. I must admit I do feel better. I could leave it there, but instead I think I’ll share with you all a prayer I wrote on retreat and that I’ve been saying every day since. It helps … especially the part about bending in the wind …. there’s been a lot of wind in my work environment!
Glory be to the One in Three.
Lead me. Love me. Guide me.
Creator, Brother-Savior, Comforter-Spirit-Guide,
Deepen my understanding of your love.
May I grow strong and tall in faith,
Rooted and grounded in your peace.
Confident in your love,
May I bend in the wind
Transforming myself and my little corner of
the world in all improbability.
This is my gift. My challenge. My task.
My answer is yes.
My answer is thank you.
For through you all things are possible.
From you all things are.
And yes … more tree references! They spoke to me during my week away. But then, they always do.


Sixtina87 said...

we love you Susan!!!! Cheer up!!!!

seeking_something said...

Sometimes we take our jobs way too seriously. While I certainly don't condone irresponsibility, fact is that if we were to walk off the job this instant, the corporate gears will continue to turn without us. I've had to clean up other folk's mess and I sure don't want to leave a mess for others, but in the end does it really matter? I love my a co-worker's perspective: the pay's the same. At the other end of the "do a good job" is the balance of "take this job and shove it, I do a reasonable day's work for a fair day's pay."

My last days at work were highly productive only because I had good co-workers, I knew they cared, and I cared about them. I closed out clean only for their sake. Else I'd be like the rest and take the "what are you going to do, fire me?" attitude.

Lisa said...

What is the saying? "Don't sweat the small stuff." It's hard because work occupies so many of our waking hours (usually). But in the midst of the pending transition, or this period of transitioning, don't miss out on the treasured moments of grace (and friendship) that can be yours.
Prayers and support accompany you!