from blaming to forgiving

This gem from Henri Nouwen was in my mail box this morning:

"From Blaming to Forgiving
Our most painful suffering often comes from those who love us and those we love. The relationships between husband and wife, parents and children, brothers and sisters, teachers and students, pastors and parishioners - these are where our deepest wounds occur. Even late in life, yes, even after those who wounded us have long since died, we might still need help to sort out what happened in these relationships.

The great temptation is to keep blaming those who were closest to us for our present, condition saying: "You made me who I am now, and I hate who I am." The great challenge is to acknowledge our hurts and claim our true selves as being more than the result of what other people do to us. Only when we can claim our God-made selves as the true source of our being will we be free to forgive those who have wounded us."

One unexpected blessing of the craziness I've been going through at work is that it helped me move from blaming to forgiving in a personal relationship. These are hurts I've held closely for many years. True gift in the midst of some dark times.


Paula said...

thanks for posting this, Susan.It sounds so true for me these days also.I will keep it, maybe post it also.

juniper68 said...

thank you so much for this. It came at just the right time.

margaret of the sea of galiliee said...

Perfect timing Susan.
To take upon ourselves other people's images of ourselves is never going to get us anywhere good. Even before we blame or forgive.
In as much as we are anyone else's to be imaged we are God's.