following my heart

Yesterday the Gospel reading was Jesus telling the Rich man he had to give away all his possessions to the poor. Today we have the Apostles pestering him, wondering if all their sacrifices will be worth it in the end. “What will there be for us?,” they ask. And Jesus replies:

And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters
or father or mother or children or lands
for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more,
and will inherit eternal life.
But many who are first will be last, and the last will be first.

Interesting readings these last days before I become a Novice. I am not really giving up houses (I had an apartment), but I am simplifying my life to be sure. I am not giving up brothers or sisters or father – we have a long distance e-mail/phone relationship that will simply continue. But I am giving up daily contact with an amazing community of friends who are my family. I know too that it is harder to keep those bonds strong over distance, but they will always have a place in my heart. I am giving up the prospect of children, but my biological clock has been taking care of that one anyway and I don’t think that’s my calling. But I do have some special children in my life that I will see rarely from now on. And as to the rich man giving away his worldly possessions to the poor, I’m by no means rich but I have given much away these last few weeks.

So why am I doing this? For the simple reason that Jesus is calling and in the words of Olivia Newton John from Grease … “My head is saying ‘fool, forget him’, my heart is saying ‘don't let go’.

And as the New Radicals tell us in one of my all time favorite songs, You Get What You Give, "You'll be ok follow your heart." So that’s what I’m doing …following my heart.