Nun Quiz

A friend of mine recently mailed me a book ... about nuns of course. It's a 20 year old humor book by a man named Tom Carey called quite eloquently, "The Nun Book." In the back is a quiz to test your vocation to religious life. The book seems to be out of print, so I'll copy the quiz here for your perusal:

Are you Closing the Door on Jesus? Or Do You Have a True Vocation?
Stuck in a dead end job? Tired of dumping frozen french fries into endless vats of hot grease? Sick of scooping double-dip Rocky Road sugar cones? Maybe it's time for a change! The following quiz, prepared by the author in conjunction with leading psychologists, theologians and biorhythm specialists, will help you determine if you might be a candidate for the fast-paced and challenging career of a Roman Catholic nun. Put your name and today's date in the upper right hand corner. Answer A, B, or C.

1. Which of the following career choices most appeal to you? A. Cocktail waitress, actress, "21" dealer in Vegas. B. Avon Lady, Tupperware District Manager, hair designer. C. Librarian, organist, missionary.
2. As a youngster you liked to: A. Throw dead beetles at your little brother. B. Play with Dionne Quintuplets paper dolls. C. Pretend you were St. Joan of Arc.
3. Your favorite birthday present was: A. A Swiss Army knife. B. A Smurf sticker book. C. A rosary that was blessed by the Pope.
4. Choose the outfit you'd love to wear: A. Black beret, white plastic triangle earrings, see-through blouse with black bra, pink skirt, 6" wide green vinyl belt, black net stockings with seams, pink ballet slippers. B. Levi's, Notre Dame sweatshirt, lavender running shoes, C. Calf length polyester skirt, brown sweater, brown orthopedic oxfords.
5. Your bedroom is decorated with posters of: A. Iron Maiden and Judas Priest. B. Buddy Holly and James Dean. C. Pope John Paul II and Perry Como.
6. Your favorite movie is: A. Madonna's "A Certain Sacrifice." B. "Gone with the Wind". C. "The Song of Bernadette"
7. The following hairstyle is The Real You: A. Mohawk with streaks of purple, green and pink. B. Wavy perm, lots of mousse. C. Bun.
8. As a young girl, you thought your parents: A. Must have been born in the 17th Century. B. Had a lot of fun in the Couples' Bridge Marathon. C. Were infallible.
9. The "Man of Your Dreams": A. Drives a Harley Hog, has a pierced ear, drinks gin on the rocks, raises pit bulls. B. Uses Brut, likes soap-on-a-rope, wears Ralph Lauren Chinos, drives a BMW 320i. C. Drives a 1977 Chevy Nova, wears black wing tips, sells aluminum awnings, lives with his 76 year old mother.
10. The very best book you ever read was: A. The Life and Times of the Marquis de Sade. B. Crossings by Danielle Steel. C. The Bobsey Twins at the Seashore by Laura Lee Hope.
11. Your favorite magazine is: A. Cycle World, B. Cosmopolitan, C. Readers Digest.

How to Determine Your Score: Give yourself one point for each A answer, two for each B and three for each C. If you scored 7 to 11 point, forget it. You're not closing the door on Jesus, you'll never even hear him ring the bell.

If you scored 11 to 15 points, you might want to examine your conscience and make a weekend Retreat to decide if convent life is your cup of tea. You can always cancel the subscription to Cosmopolitan.

If you scored higher than 15 points, Jesus is whispering in your ear. Think of how proud your parents would be to have a nun in the family! Think of the fun you'd have singing second soprano in the convent choir! Think of the reward you'll earn in Heaven through a lifetime of self-denial, penance, chastity, silent prayer, and personal mortification! Go ahead - open the door to Jesus.

I of course scored 26 points. Guess I'm in the right place!

And for the record, I received the Smurf sticker book at my 6th birthday party. It was very smurfy!

On a more serious note, the quiz makes light of a very serious thing - although humor is very important in life! We get in trouble when we take ourselves too seriously.

If you think you might indeed possibly someday think about the fact that religious life could in the right circumstances make sense to you, I'd suggest talking to a vocation or spiritual director, reading Vision magazine, checking out this online discernment retreat, or if you are so inclined drop me a line off blog. My e-mail is in the contact section to the right. In my experience those pesky persistent thoughts will keep coming back until you at least acknowledge their existence.