intergenerational living

One thing I've noticed about being a tech-savy 30-something member of a religious community where there is more gray hair than not (other than the fact that my own gray hairs are multiplying at an alarming rate), is that I'm often called upon to share my technical expertise, which I happily do. When I was in England last fall I found that a social call to one of our houses often ended with me on my knees .... looking at the back of their pc trying to figure out which wires were disconnected or why the internet access wasn't working. Since I've been here in my new temporary digs, I was on my knees also - but this time to set up the wireless network for my own benefit! I have also given some computer advice and training to the sisters here and in the convent next door. Like I said, I'm happy to help - especially if it facilitates communication in our congregation. And really, we're all called to share our own particular gifts with the community - part mine happens to be techie assistance.

Why am I sharing this with you? It is in part inspired by a wonderful post by bloggy friend Sarah who is a pre-novice with a community all the way across the globe in Australia.

I've been noticing this week the ways that I suspect or know the community has changed to accommodate me and in response to my presence. As I'm sure I've said before I'm the youngest in my community by more than 30 years and so there's a bit of culture shock moving in here. From the day I arrived I've been touched by how much the community has tried to meet my needs and be open to the fact I'm, well, different. ... Sometimes I'm able to see that I've contributed here as well as learned and grown.

She gives some great every day concrete examples of the give and take of intergenerational living. When I was thinking of ways that I've contributed, my computer help is an obvious way that comes to mind. But also I think my very presence as a younger member of the community brings a breath of fresh air and a new perspective that is needed. Likewise, I benefit from the wisdom and lived experiences of the older members in community. Plus as a general rule, the women I have lived with have been fun!

As I've written before, the generation gap is a reality in religious life and is something that needs to factor into one's discernment as a younger woman entering religious life. Ignoring the reality is not healthy, but in my experience neither is obsessing about it.

To be honest, the strangest and most surprising thing about intergenerational community living in religious life is not how hard it is, but how natural it can be. I think the key is if the call to the charism and spirit of the community is present in all the members. If it is, then the diversity and differences present in the group - age being one of those differences - make life more interesting but are not obstacles.

Living in the novitiate house was a different experience, because while there were some older members of the community there were also the other two novices in formation living there. But during my ministry experiences - in London in the fall and now in Jersey City - I am the only younger member. In fact, in my current house I'm the youngest member by 40 years. Part of me thinks that it would be impossible to relate, that there would be too many cultural references missing, too many generational challenges. And yet, my lived experience has shown this not to be the case. Like I say, the most surprising thing is how natural this way of living can be. I think it's both part of the mystery of religious life and the witness it can be in the world.

I'd be interested in any comments from my "cousins" in religious life - those bloggy friends who are also discerning or have lived in intergenerational communities. What does your experience tell you???