10.07.2013

Relationship

Your Heart is Simple
You don't understand why people complicate love so much. It doesn't need to be dramatic or difficult.
You prefer a deep relationship that's stable and full of meaning. Being with the right person gives you purpose.

You are not competitive when it comes to love. You figure either someone loves you or not - you can't control it.
You love the many layers of a long-term relationship. You like knowing someone better than anyone else in the world.

My heart may be simple, but life has been complicated lately.  When my life gets messy and my schedule overly busy, a few things tend to slide.  My room becomes an obstacle course for one thing.  And sadly, I also cut back on time for prayer.  Crazy, I know.  I should know better.  Yet, when I look back on the crazy level of my life I can usually find a correlation to the time I give to prayer and reflection. Less prayer and reflection, more crazy.

Last night, I was drawn to pray with the office book that our Sisters use in most of our communities, large and small. And wouldn't you know it, I heard exactly what I needed to hear!  Everything complicated was not magically fixed, but I was grounded and connected to my loving God.

A few months ago a friend told me that the reason she makes going to Church every Sunday a priority, no matter how she's feeling or how much she likes the liturgy/preaching/pastor/community is relationship.  As she sees it, it's a matter of keeping up her part of the relationship, being present, showing up.  I've reflected on that quite a bit since.  Really, prayer is about relationship.

Many years ago when my mom was dying from cancer and my own relationship with God was on shaky ground, a very wise priest friend suggested I read the Psalms.  At the time, I was having some issues with God (understandably) and didn't feel like I could pray and connect in a peaceful way. He pointed out to me that the Psalms are filled with anger and emotion at the pain and suffering the world.  Think person shaking fist at sky.  He then helped me realize that anger is a very intimate emotion.  God wants to be with us at our angry moments, our fist shaking moments, our moments of frustration, and exacerbation, just as much as God is with us at the happy, grace filled moments of peace, joy, and gratitude.

Before I end, a quick note on the silly blog quiz heart I picked.  It is an open heart.  It wasn't until after I took the quiz (due to some major bloggy writers block yet a desire to write something) that I realized the open heart is key for me and my vocation journey.  You see, it's the personal motto I had inscribed on the inside of my profession ring: "Live with an open heart."

Amen

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