12.16.2004

Waiting in Mary-Darkness

At my last spiritual direction appointment my director suggested I spend some time with Mary this Advent. I had just looked at my schedule for December and commented that it looked like I'd have a lot of free time. I checked out some books from the library and hoped to find extra time this Advent for prayer and reflection on my discernment and indeed to spend time with Mary.

My schedule filled up, and you know what they say about good intentions. But then last night, my evening reflection was from the poet Jessica Powers:

I live my Advent in the womb of Mary.
And on one night when a great star swings free
from its high mooring and walks down the sky
to be the dot above the Christus i,
I shall be born of her by blessed grace,
I wait in Mary-darkness, faith's walled place,
with hope's expectance of nativity.


I love that - waiting in Mary-darkness, with hope's expectance of nativity. New life. I could indeed learn a lot from Mary. She said Yes, we know that. But that wasn't the end, it was the beginning. She then waited in expectant hope, living in the present while awaiting the new life of the future. I've said yes to exploring the possibilities religious life may hold for me. That was such a huge decision it seems like that should be it, but's it's the beginning, not the end. Saying yes to exploring doesn't mean I magically have a vocation. There's a lot of waiting, in expectant hope. In Mary-darkness - I like that image. This Advent, by spending time with Mary in the darkness, not only am I not alone, I have a role model to show me the way. Hence the assignment from my spiritual director. I could indeed learn alot from Mary.

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