Family Pressure

I’m headed to Alabama this weekend for my niece’s First Communion. My sister’s not super religious (or religious at all for that matter), but I think she promised my mom before she passed away that she’d have the girls go through the sacraments. My mom was always a believer that children should have some sort of faith foundation. It was up to them if they wanted to then reject it. She was on to something I think … look at me. 12 years of Catholic school, then 10 years away from the church, and now I’m the super church geek discerning a religious vocation. Crafty woman that mother of mine.

Anyway, this is my first time visiting this sister and her family since I broke the news that I was considering becoming a Sister. I told the family last fall when I was in DC – my dad was in the hospital with a brain injury. I’d told my dad the news a few weeks before, and decided it wasn’t fair to ask a man recovering from a brain injury to keep a secret for me.

It hadn’t dawned on me that my siblings with kids would tell the nieces and nephews my news. Even though it makes perfect sense I guess. But I received a shock a few months ago when my niece sent me an e-mail inviting me to her First Communion. She ended her e-mail saying that she didn’t know what she wanted to be when she grew up, but maybe she’d want to be a Sister like me and could I show her how to do it. I had two thoughts. 1) How cute! and 2) What the hell do I say to that. I came up with something about how it’s ok that she doesn’t know what she wants to be when she grows up, and that all she needs to do is have fun, do well in school and listen to her parents. I also said something about how great it is she’s growing closer to God. But it was weird.

Which brings me to the realization that in addition to all I’m going through in my life with this discernment, if I go this path I’ll also have a new role to play in the family. Religious Susan. Literally I guess. Although truth be told I’ve already been playing this part. It was me after all that planned my mother’s funeral mass. So it’s a role I suppose I’ve been growing into. Just so long as they don’t expect me to have wise and profound things to say at just the right moment. I did feel quite a bit of pressure in picking out a present and writing a note for my niece’s big day!

I’ll be away from a computer for a few days. Happy Mother’s Day to all my Bloggy Mother friends out there.

Peace,
Susan