My goddaughter A turned one yesterday. Just got back from the cake-smearing feast known as her birthday party. She is such a sweet heart. Very wise eyes. A smile to make your heart stop. And quite the temper when she’s not getting what she wants.
Monday night I’m heading to my godson’s A’s dance recital (yes both their names start with the letter "A" – I’m not confused – about this anyway!). He’s four and goes to a dance academy for his pre-school. His birthday was a few weeks ago. He’s a very funny boy with his own perspective on life. Very snuggly too if he’s in the right mood.
I have five nieces/nephews but I’m not the godmother for any of them. My sister-in law, mother of the first three, told me that if she’d known in my heathen stage that I’d be nun some day of course she would have asked me to be a godmother for one of them! But alas, it was during my "the Catholic church has no relevance" phase. I love my nieces and nephews and am blessed to be a part of their lives.
But there’s something different to being a godmother. Maybe it’s also because I have no blood ties to these two children, although their mothers are like sisters to me. Our connection is a spiritual one. I was given the light of Christ at their baptism (right before I was then told to blow out the candle!) and entrusted with the responsibility of holding it for them. There is a sacramental bond of sorts. I’m not explaining it well, but it’s pretty cool. To have a role to play not just at birthday parties and dance recitals, but in how they learn to know God’s love and live out the good news. Of course my own godparents were not involved in my life at all – birthday parties or spiritual development. But I’m planning to stick around with these two … how could I not?
Any one else have thoughts to share on being a god parent?
3 comments:
i have four godchildren. i try to make birthdays and holidays special events, try to remember to send the advent calendars a week before december (oft times fail...) and Easter is significant as is valentine's day (they are all my sweet hearts)...
one of them is 15. i was named his godmother at a time i was close to his parents; we have since drifted. i try to reach out for him whenever i can, but now i am in a bit of a dilemma -- my son showed me his "my space" and one of his icons is a marijuana leaf and he talks a lot about smoking. do i reach out to him first (maybe by way of email?) or make a phone call?
(i am sorry if this didn't go the way you wanted it to, but you brought up godchildren and it's been on my mind....what would susan do?)
No apolgies necessary! That's part of the godparent thing. They start out small, cute and cuddly but we all go through a rebellious phase of some sort.
What would I do. Hmmmm... it's tougher not being that close to the parents. If I were, I'd probably check in with them to make sure they were aware of this development.
I don't think I'd call or e-mail him and tell him everything that was wrong with what he was doing. He'd just react against his crazy godmother I think. But if I had a relationship of any sort with him I'd probably just reach out in a friendly positive way. Let him know I'm still here and care for him. And pray that he'll grow through his rebellious stage unharmed into a thoughtful caring person who knows God's love.
Not that helpful but maybe others have thoughts?
Sometimes you just have to sit back and pray for your godchildren.
The baptism was great, and when they get to school age, you start asking, so when's he going to do his first communion? And the parents say, "Oh, we're not going to do that. We don't go to mass, really, so we thought there's not much point in getting the boys involved, and the public school is closer than the catholic one."
Man, that's hard.
I finally got up the guts to say, listen, we'll come and pick the boys up, take them to mass, no problem -- we are P's godparents, we can do this. We're happy to help out. Nope. Thanks very much but no. And you just know that if you force the issue you are going to alienate the parents and that would be even worse!
So you pray, and settle for being an auntie and try to walk the walk --live the example. Maybe I'll get the boys the Comic Book Bible for Christmas. My kids all got a kick out of that.
The thing is, I don't want to guilt my bro or his wife, whom I really like. I wouldn't make them feel bad for the world. So sometimes you just have to sit back and pray.
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