11.26.2005

making myself at home

I remember reading a while back on Jesuit Novice Richard’s blog about his “taking control” of his room – decorating it a bit to make it look like it was in fact his room. He wrote: “My comfort level at the Novitiate has gotten to the point where I finally took ownership of my bedroom.”

As you know, I’m living in community two weekends a month, this being my 3rd weekend. I have my own room, but when I’m not here it’s a guest room so I don’t want to take too much ownership. Not planning to rearrange the furniture or replace all the artwork. However, last time I was here I did bring a few small pictures of my family to put on the desk along with one favorite framed art card. A candle. AND the quilt my mother gave me for high school graduation that I subsequently had in my college dorm and my room in Switzerland and in my first appartment. It’s not so much that, like Richard, my comfort level has gotten to the point where I took ownership of my bedroom. Rather, by spreading a little bit of my history around the room, I felt more comfortable.

Yesterday I spent a chunk of the day feverishly reading the Secret Lives of Bees for my book club Sunday afternoon. And so I spent lots of time in my room. It was raining a good hard Seattle rain, and so I learned the best part about this room. It stands under a deck, not the rest of the house, and so when it rains you really hear it. It felt like I was in my own little cabin in the woods. Cozy.


By the way, Pride & Prejudice was great. Different but very well done. TDay Dinner was also a marvellous combination of excellent food and wonderful company. A good time was had by all.

1 comment:

Lisa said...

To those outside the know, the "making of one's room" in religious life might seem like a superficial or insignificant factor.

In reality, there's a lot of meaning to it. There's a relationship between the space one occupies and the feeling (and later experience) of connectedness and/or belonging.

As I read your post, I was thinking back to my live-in days when I would stay in the postulancy dorm (the postulants now sleep in private rooms). I always felt welcome and, to a degree, at home; however, falling asleep was not always easy as I was very much aware of being "not in my own bed." There were many nights I counted sheep to no avail.

Today, however, my sense of belonging and being at home among my Sisters has changed and deepened. I see that (ok it's probably helped by age and tiredness) reflected in being at home enough to sleep in whichever room assigned to on an overnight at the motherhouse or when a guest at one of the convents in the province.

The notion of a "room of one's own" (Virginia Woolfe)in the religious life context is probably better stated as an "oasis or sanctuary of one's own," a place in which one can unwind and be, beginning and ending the day in the quiet presence of God.

On retreat, I often find myself occupying the space of my guest room with whatever prayer and reflection tools I have carried with me. In that way, too, I am making the space mine for that period of time. The making of one's space is not about possessing the space but rather about relaxing to the point that one can be as open as possible to the whisperings of God.