breaking through

Most Sunday mornings I gather with a group that shares our reflections on the readings. I didn't share anything this morning, but I was really struck per usual by the depth of people's insights. One gentleman shared that the story of Thomas in today's Gospel always speaks to him, as for him doubt is part of faith. Part of his doubts, he said, are in God's unconditional love and the ever presence of God. I must admit that this is something I've been known to struggle with as well - at those hard moments, when loved ones are suffering, when my world seems to be falling apart or I seem to be falling apart, or even when everything seems to be going along ok. For me too, I suppose, doubt is linked to faith. The doubts lead to questions, which as someone else pointed out, lead to clarity.

This same gentleman also pointed out something that I'd almost forgotten ... Jesus breaks through the locked door to bring peace to the apostles who are gathered in fear.

On the evening of that first day of the week,
when the doors were locked, where the disciples were,
for fear of the Jews,
Jesus came and stood in their midst
and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

If Jesus can break through the literal locked door, Jesus can break through my internal locked doors. One thing I've been discovering this year - and it's been one of my major unbloggables - is my own persistent resistance to God, to Jesus, to love. But yet I believe, and so I ask my brother, my friend, my savior to help my unbelief. Break through those barriers.

This thought process in turn reminded me of a slightly sacriligeous post I wrote this time last year. I'll include part of it below, along with the cartoon character Jesus I created to go along with it:

Who can walk on water and into locked rooms? It's Super Jesus!
He can walk on water.
He can heal the sick and bring the dead back from life.
He can walk through walls and into locked rooms.
He can bring peace where there is none, and pretty much anything else you can imagine. ‘Cause he’s Super Jesus.

Heck, he even managed to get me to get off my lazy you know what and figure out that maybe there’s more to the crazy thing called life than the boring bureaucratic grind. And while I cannot walk on water or walk through walls, I don’t have to. ‘Cause I’ve got Super Jesus walking with me on this journey.