new orleans

I was only in New Orleans once. My Dad & I took the train there from DC. I was 13, it was 1985. August. Extremely hot & muggy, and being from DC that's saying something.

We walked all around. French Quarter. Riverfront. Took the street car out to the garden district.

Is it all gone? The stories on NPR are so devastating. Evacuating that entire City!

And all the other stories. Of people coming home to find their front steps, nothing more. Livelihoods, homes, churches, schools, gone in the blink of the eye.

The loss of life, while sure to be big, was at least lessened by our warning systems and the evacuations.

But still. Such tragedy. It's slowly sinking in. I think it was when I heard they were moving the 25,000 in the Superdome to the Houston Astrodome, and clearing the schedule THROUGH DECEMBER that it hit me. New Orleans, as I visited it 20 years ago, is no more.

Prayers, thoughts, and more prayers for the hurricane survivors in all the Gulf States. My pastor told me we're having a collection at masses this weekend. May our hearts be generous to our brothers and sisters in need.

truth or fiction?

Got this via a silly forwarded e-mail. Can anyone enlighten me??? Truth or fiction? Must be fiction ("chip monk"/"chipmunk"/get it?)

It's funny nonetheless.... Enjoy!

"This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos. Not surprisingly, some worshippers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash when the basket is passed. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. The churches send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. Of course, this is done by a chip monk. "

By the way, one of my first records (yes it was on vinyl) was "Chipmunk Punk." Nothing like Alvin belting out "My Sharona." Wish I still had it, but sadly it went the way of an ill conceived yard sale many moons ago....

weird dreams

I had weird dreams last night ... about the Pope. He asked me to help write a more sane verson of last year's On Collaboration of Men & Women. Now that he was the man in charge, he wanted to correct some things that he & PJP had argued about. Like I said, weird dream.

That reminds me ... My Dad's taken to asking me about the new Pope everytime we talk. It's a bit odd. He always wanted me to become a nun (dad not the pope), and now that I'm actually discerning that increasingly real possibility, he's now asking me how I can join up with a sexist church. Sigh..... Fathers. At least I'm coming to peace with this balancing act I'm embarking upon.

The other day Dad asked me how I'm getting along with the Pope. ... Yes I had quite a few issues with him in his earlier incarnation as Cardinal Ratzinger. Yes he'll likely say (infalible) things that I don't agree with. But so far, my attempt at trusting in the holy spirit has been working pretty well for me. Plus, I just don't have a lot of energy right now for Pope anxiety ... But with Dad, I just try to come up with oneliners to get him to change the subject. This time I told him the Pope & I don't talk much so there haven't been any problems.

Off to work for me. Heard some super sad stories about victims of Katrina on the radio last night. Prayers, prayers, some more prayers, and donations coming their way.

this just in

Breaking news ... the US Poverty rate is now a shocking 12.7%.

Not good. Not good at all.

"If you have more than enough material possessions and see your neighbors in need yet close your hearts to them, how can the love of God be living in you? My children, our love must not be simply words or mere talk – it must be true love, which shows itself in action and truth." -1 John 3: 17-18

Read my post on Sollicitudo Rei Socialis

fleeting judgements

Last night, Thomas Merton told me:

"One must not be too quickly preoccupied with professing definitively what is true and what is false. Not that true and false do not matter. But if at every instant one wants to grasp the whole and perfect truth of a situation, particularly a concrete and limited situation in history or in politics, one only deceives and blinds himself. Such judgements are only rarely and fleetingly possible, and sometimes, when we think we see what is most significant, it has very little meaning at all." (A Year With Thomas Merton, Aug 29).

If we’re honest with ourselves, we’re all guilty of this one at some point. I see it in the Church in the struggle between the conservatives/traditionalists and the liberals/progressives … and many other places on this little planet of ours. None of us has a grasp on the whole and perfect truth, that’s for God. Our job I think is to be open and to share the window on the truth we do get, knowing that our truth is only a part of the whole truth. We need each other if we’re ever to really build God’s kingdom, or even just a tiny part of it.

If we think we’ve got all the information we need to do it ourselves right now, well, what is they say about building castles in the sand? Or glass houses for that matter? I remember when I lived in Switzerland the year after college they were building a house next door the entire time I was there. My sister-in-law said they finished it two years later. It took forever! And lots of team work. But it was sturdy and will probably stand for hundreds if not thousands of years.

Some thoughts anyway this Tuesday morning.
Houseguest #1 leaves today (my old roommate and college friend Kathy has been in town). It’s been great, resting and rejuvenating. Houseguest #2 comes Thursday (Hellen, the now candidate with the groovy sisters).
Take care everyone.

yup

If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog.

Via Penni at Martha, Martha

paths home

By the time I was a Junior in high school, I had pretty much abandoned the Catholic Church as having any relevance to me or the world around me. The reasons for my leaving (and staying away for close to 10 years) are varied and complex. As a young woman in the church, I didn't feel particularly appreciated, included or wanted. The church also seemed so focused on sexual morality that it ignored some pretty significant larger social sins. Also, I'd learned during this time period that someone very close to my heart had been molested by our parish priest when he was an altar boy. Understandably this revelation cemented my anger and disillusionment with the institutional church. I had no use for it.

As I entered my mid 20's I found myself drawn more and more into a relationship with God. But I stayed away from the institutional church. I didn't see what purpose returning to the fold could serve. And I was still pretty darn angry. I was your quintessential alienated cradle Catholic yearning for a spiritual home.

And then God led me to St. Philip Neri Parish and the Paulist Fathers. How that happened is another post, but through their Landings ministry and charism of reconciliation and reaching out, I found my way home. And we all know where that path has led, to an acceptance and understanding of the incredible idea that God loves all of us (even me!) unconditionally and a desire to share that love with the world, possibly as a woman religious.

Why do I tell this story? I just heard through the grapevine that Paulist Father Jac Campbell, who founded the Landings program that reconciled me to the Catholic Church, has passed away in Boston. I never knew him personally, but give thanks for him and his ministry which has helped many inactive and alienated Catholics, including myself, to their way home to God's love.

My prayers are with Fr. Campbell's family and his Paulist brothers at this time.

Peace,
Susan

enticement and seduction

This morning I read and mused over this Sunday’s readings. I’ve taken to waking up with a cup of coffee and the day’s readings. The combo works for me. Sometimes, there’s something in the scripture that jumps out at me and wakes me up. This morning there were several.

The first reading is from Jeremiah, the “You duped me passage.” This morning I read it in 3 translations.

My New Jeruselem Bible says “You have seduced me, Yahweh, and I have let myself be seduced; you have overpowered me: you were the stronger. ... I would say to myself ‘I will not think about him, I will not speak in his name any more,’ but then there seemed to be a fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones.”

My New Revised Standard Version says “O Lord, you have enticed me and I was enticed; you have overpowered me, and you have prevailed. ... If I say, ‘I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name, then within me there is something like a burning fire shut up in my bones.”

And the New American Bible says “You duped me, O Lord, and I let myself be duped; you were too strong for me and you triumphed ... I say to myself, ‘I will not mention him, I will speak in his name no more. But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart, imprisoned in my bones.”

This morning as I read these 3 translations and drank my coffee, I woke up to a dawning realization that I have been enticed and seduced on this journey with God. But I let it happen! At times I might tell myself that I’ll stop thinking all those God thoughts, but it comes back like a fire burning in my heart. I get that. My story is not necessarily the call of a prophet, but we all have our own call.

In the second reading Paul tells us (or he tells the Romans but we get to listen in) not to conform ourselves to our age but to discern what is the will of God, what is good, pleasing and perfect. (Romans 12). I think that anyone who has discerned a call to religious life has struggled with this one. It seems such a countercultural thing, and is definitely not conforming ourselves to the age. But discerning the will of God can lead to what is good, pleasing and perfect. It’s tricky business though.

Jesus tells Peter, and us by extension, “Get behind me Satan! You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.” Wow! Harsh, but rings true. When we conform to our will, when we conform to our age, when we try to ignore God’s fire burning in our heart, we are thinking as human beings do. Jesus then has a gem of an idea that I’ve been wrapping my head around for over a year now: “whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.”

The great paradox. By following God, by discerning God’s will not OUR will, we find our life. Our path. What is pleasant, good and perhaps perfect. Seems crazy but true.

Let’s just say I was wide awake by this point. Today’s readings spoke to me in a special way. I have been enticed, and I have let myself be enticed. As today’s Psalm says ” O God, you are my God whom I seek; ... Thus will I bless you while I live; .. As with the riches of a banquet shall my soul be satisfied, and with exultant lips my mouth shall praise you.”

a woman named Monica

Today is St. Monica’s Feast Day.

My sister’s name is Monica. I remember when she was in the peace corps in Latvia she was all excited that people celebrated their "name days," which really seemed to be Saint’s feast days, instead of Birthdays. Monica was a pretty unusual name growing up for her, but here was a country where everyone seemed to know her name day was August 27th!

I’ll admit I never knew much about St. Monica until I started paying attention to Saints last year. I decided that I loved Saints, that they were wonderful holy REAL people who have a lot to teach us. And so I learned about a different one each day.

I was surprised to learn that St. Monica had a famous son … Augstine. You know, THE Augustine. He was I guess a bit of a bad boy, and she prayed for him to have a change of heart. … for 17 years! Talk about a persistent faith in the power of prayer! She also followed him everywhere - to Tagaste, Carthage, Rome and Milan. A little too close for comfort for his taste I bet. In Milan however her prayers were finally answered and he saw the light. But not only was he converted, he did all those things that would later make him a Saint himself! 17 years of prayer apparently carried quite a whollop!

Funny the things you’d think you’d have picked up on in 12 years of Catholic School! Especially with a sister named Monica.

You too can learn more about her.
Here
and here
and even here!

new blog

Hi there! Just wanted to share a new blog I've found. Steph (who visits here sometimes) is sharing her experiences as a new-ish Benedictine Sister. It's Narrow at the Outset. Today she's got a great post about ... well .. go see for yourself.

Welcome to the blogosphere Sister!

When I have time I've got some blogroll cleaning up to do ... planning to add Steph's nun adventures.

Peace Out,
Susan

PS - My very own groovy sisters have 2 new candidates for vowed life this week. Hellen in the Western Province and Sue in the Eastern province have officially started the formation process. I've got my big meeting scheduled for September 17th. Congrats H & S!!

facing the elephant

As a relatively young woman discerning a future as a woman religious, I can’t ignore the elephant in the room. Age, declining numbers, and the generation gap. Omis of Higher Plane fame pointed out an article in NCR that tells the story of a recent conference of women religious under 50 in Cleveland, “Young Nuns Look Beyond Sally Field and Maria Von Trapp.” It’s premium content on the web, but I managed to find a paper copy.

The article points out some statistics that were not a surprise to me.
*From the turn of the century until mid 1960’s, the number of nuns rose rapidly, growing fourfold to about 180,000 in 1965
*By 2004, the number had dropped to 70,000
*The median age for Sisters is in the 70’s
*Sisters under the age of 50 make up 5 percent of Sisters nationwide

This is the reality. But does it spell doom and gloom? I honestly don’t think so. When I first started admitting to myself that there just might be something to that persistent thought, “Susan, you should be a Sister!” one of my basic denial techniques was couching it in a concern that it wasn’t practical. Why would I want to hang out with older women? What could I possibly have in common with them? Why would I board a sinking ship? Did I want to be the one to turn out the light?

Omis asked if I was paying attention. I think he was asking if I was reading his blog, but the larger question could be am I paying attention to this reality. Yes I am.

I see what was. I see what is. I see glimmers of what may be. But I am not God, I am not in charge. Maybe there will be an increase in vocations in the next 5, 10, 15 years. Or maybe there will continue to be just a trickle of women answering the call. Luckily we have a wonderful cadre of older Sisters we can join in prayer and follow in ministry. In the NCR article, the younger nuns are attributed as saying they are blessed by having many “wisdom figures” in the older Sisters. I’ve experienced that myself. Such amazing women who answered God’s call and met the needs of their day. They gift those who follow them with powerful histories, strong charisms, and vibrant communities that are alive and ever changing.

Once I started hanging out with the groovy sisters, those concerns about sinking ships and being the last to turn out the light went out the window. Women's religious communities are alive and vibrant, looking towards the future. In my experience they do not feel like sinking ships. Very far from it.

Yes things will be different. No there will not be 180,000 young nuns running schools and hospitals, the needs of the past. But we are talking about the future, not the past. There will be Sisters, smaller in number most likely but no less present to the world around them, working for justice, spreading the Gospel, sharing Christ’s love with those in need. God is still calling women to a life of ministry and community, of that I have no doubt. And some are answering.

Those are my thoughts anyway this Thursday evening.

Peace,
Susan

PS - The conference was organized by Giving Voice. I clearly remember one day when I was in a tizzy about “how can I be called to religious life, nuns are old.” I turned to my friend the internet, and I found this organization. Just knowing they existed, that there was a group of younger women religious actively seeking a future made it seem ok.

Update - Omis has a great follow up post on Higher Plane. I love the internet. Where else can you have virtual conversations with people you've never met?

in the now

“Stay awake,” Jesus tells us in today’s Gospel. Of course I read this over my morning coffee, trying oh so hard to wake up in the first place. Maybe that’s why it struck me so...

Jesus said to his disciples:
"Stay awake!
For you do not know on which day your Lord will come.
Be sure of this: if the master of the house
had known the hour of night when the thief was coming,
he would have stayed awake
and not let his house be broken into.
So too, you also must be prepared,
for at an hour you do not expect, the Son of Man will come.
(Matthew 24)

Looking around at the world, it’s hard not to think that we’ve fallen asleep on the job. Violence. Severe poverty and outlandish wealth. Anger. Loneliness. The larger world aside, I know I fall into the trap myself often enough. Of judging other people. Getting caught up in the “now,” a now that is all illusion and not the real now.

In today’s first reading Paul tells us (well, he was talking to the Thessalonians) “for we now live, if you stand firm in the Lord.”

The real now is Christ. Living God’s love in our hearts and in the world. I know that, and yet how often do I actually live it?

And so I pray, with the words of St Paul from his letter:

May Christ increase to overflowing our love for one another and for all people,
May Christ strengthen our hearts, making them blameless and holy before our Abba God at the coming of our Savior Jesus with all the holy ones.
(1 Thessalonians 3)

Have a good day everyone. Live in the now (as best you can)!