nature amazes me

About a month ago one of my groovy Sisters gave me this cone from a big tree on the property of our West Coast groovy headquarters. It's beautiful and reminds me of home, so it's been sitting in my prayer space in a place of honor ever since. The other day I looked over and saw that it had fallen to the ground and parts of it had broken off. Including this ...



... a perfect rose! My first reaction was (in my groggy early morning state) "miracle!". Then I realized that I'd seen native American jewelry with similar "carved" roses, I'd just never known where they came from. Some internet sleuthing told me that "Cedar cones disintegrate when mature; the 'roses' are the tops of the cones that get pushed off when the cones dry out and disintegrate." Not suprising then that my cone dried out in this overly heated institutional building.

It's still a miracle, these cedar roses carved by our loving creator. Absolutely amazing.

in case you were wondering

Roman Catholic 96% Emergent/Postmodern 79% Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 79% Neo orthodox 75% Charismatic/Pentecostal 54% Modern Liberal 54% Classical Liberal 50% Reformed Evangelical 43% Fundamentalist 11% What's your theological worldview? created with QuizFarm.com

Good to know ... as seen at Barefoot & Laughing. To be honest I'm more than a bit confused by the results - 79% Postmodern AND Evangelical? At least the Catholic part is in the lead .. seeing as I'm a Catholic nun, that's a good thing.

community connections

When I was first actively discerning religious life (as opposed to actively denying that I might have a vocation which I did for a long time), community was not the biggest pull for me. I know that there are studies of younger religious that point to community as the biggest draw, but this wasn't true for me. I've written about this before, but basically what I felt was a call to serve and a call to be a person of prayer. Religious life seemed to be the place to put those two together.

God ended up surprising me (as God is apt to do). Turns out, community is a big part of what I find life giving (and challenging) about religious life, both in daily living and in the larger vision work. We are who we are and we go about what we do together. And yet, somehow, we still manage most times to find the balance of also being who we are as individuals.

Granted, 4 months of non-stop community living in the Novitiate House has not been perfect. There have been challenges and stressors as we continue the hard work of building community. And yes, at times I have yearned for my former singleton life.

Yesterday was an interesting day. I was all alone, all day, for the first time since I was received as a Novice in August. I enjoyed the "Susan time." But you know what I also appreciated??? That I had phone calls from 3 Sisters from the West who knew that I'd be home alone. It was a chance to catch up and reconnect without tying up the phone (since I'm the only one here to use it). It was also a great reminder of the larger community connections, beyond these four walls. It's easy sometimes to get so swept up in the Novitiate experience that you forget the larger picture. I'm not entering the community to be a novice. I'm a novice to enter the community. I've come to appreciate the east coast groovy sisters, but I miss the special brand of west coast grooviness. It was nice to reconnect with that.

Today I spent the afternoon with a priest friend of mine that I know from my parish community in Portland. He made it through not one but two novitiates, so he was kind enough to set aside a block of time to visit with me when he was visiting family in New Jersey. Again, so nice to reconnect.

turkey sighting

I was washing out my coffee cup this morning when I heard a squack/screech. I looked up and saw two wild turkeys running. It looked like they were having a race through the parking lot. We have wild turkeys on the property, but usually they're justing taking a casual stroll not a full forced run!

I share this tidbit with you, my bloggy friends, because there's no one else to tell. You see, my Novitiate Community members went hither and yon the day after Christmas. I'm saving my home visit for my brother's wedding in February. Hence, I've got the house to myself.

I'll admit it feels a little more odd than I would have expected, seeing as I lived alone for umpteen years. After 4 months, I guess I've gotten used to having folks around all the time.

Not to worry though ... if I get lonely there's loads of lovely Sisters next door. And everybody starts trickling back on Saturday. In the meantime I plan to sit in the living room, listen to music, and get some reading done. It's a whole different experience than reading in my own room!

Deck the Halls

Operation Groovy Christmas Caroling has been completed. The Novitiate House Community (along with our Groovy Congregation Leader Sr. Sheila and Dorothy our novice-to-be) made a special afternoon visit to our Infirmary to sing Christmas Carols to our sick and infirm Sisters. It was great fun. We "Decked the Halls" with our singing and gave each of the Sisters one of the Gingerbread Angel Cookies I made the other day. It was such fun, and you tell how much they enjoyed the visit.

It's been a good and groovy Christmas. Christmas Eve liturgy with the Senior Sisters was wonderful. We had a little party afterwards, and when we headed next door to the Novitiate House it turned out Santa had come for a visit! We opened the presents (we'd picked "Secret Santas") that were under the tree. This morning we had a big Christmas Breakfast and then liturgy followed by Christmas Dinner next door with the Sisters. Followed by Operation Groovy Christmas Caroling. Then back home for calls to my family. Followed by a yummy pick up supper. A good day.

Hope all my bloggy friends had a safe and happy Christmas.

Peace,
Susan

a good nun story

Today's NYT has a heartwarming nun story this Christmas Eve about a jeans wearing nun and a homeless man.

This Christmas, Johnny, whose real name is John Carbonell, will emerge from his cave and walk to Ogden Avenue. There, he will meet Sister Lauria Fitzgerald, who has looked after the homeless in the Bronx for nearly two decades. Johnny will not receive help that day. He will give it. He and Sister Lauria will hop into a van and deliver food to the homeless. .. They have come to rely on each other and to trust each other, the man in the cave and the Catholic nun in the Bronx.

Happy Christmas Eve to my bloggy friends!

It's also a Very Sufjan Christmas

A month or so ago I splurged and purchased Sufjan Steven's Songs for Christmas CD Box set. It includes beautiful renditions of traditional Christmas songs by this indie singer song writer as well as some catchy original tunes. I listened to it all afternoon as I was baking Gingerbread Angel cookies to take over to the infirmary on Christmas.

I love Sufjan, as regular readers know. He's often a featured artist in my inner-deejay's rotation and has helped me blog the unbloggable thoughts from time to time. One thing I love about him is that he manages to integrate his faith in Jesus into his wonderful music without being too churchy or inauthentic.

Which is why I love this Christmas CD set. He gives a new twist to the old favorites, and includes songs that don't get a heavy rotation but are some of my favorites including I Saw Three Ships, Lo How A Rose E'er Blooming and Once in Royal David's City.

You can listen to two of his original Christmas songs on his label's website: That Was the Worst Christmas Ever (which is much more beautiful than the title would imply) and Sister Winter. The Bored Again Christian still has a Sufjan Christmas Podcast available from last year - which includes many of the songs from the CD Set. But it's worth a purchase in my opinion. Who could resist the combo of traditional songs and originals with titles like "Hey Guys! It's Christmas Time!" and "Did I Make You Cry on Christmas Day? [Well] You Deserved It!".

Personally I've got "Only at Christmas Time" stuck in my head:

Only to bring you peace (Only at Christmas time)
Only the King of Kings (Only what once was mine)
It takes the end of time (It takes a long, long time)
Only one thought of mine (Only at Christmas Time)

He brings us peace
He brings us joy
He brings all thoughts to destroy
(Only at Christmas Time)

Groovy Christmas Part Deux

Your Holiday Stress Level Is Low

You take it easy over the holidays, and you only take on what you can handle. You know the holidays are about celebrating and fun - not standing in line at the mall!

What's Your Holiday Stress Level?

It's hard to believe that it's a year since my first groovy Christmas! This year, we're spending Christmas here at the Novitiate House. It will be a fairly simple affair. We'll spend some time on our own here at the house, but will be joining the Sisters next door for liturgy and Christmas dinner. I'm hopeful that while we will miss being with family, we'll be able to enjoy spending the holiday with our Novitiate Community. Of course the other highlight for me is that we're basically on vacation. The day after Christmas the rest of the house is scattering hither and yon to visit with family. I'm saving my "home visit" for my brother's wedding in February ... which means I get some time to myself. I won't really be alone since there's loads of Sisters next door. But I am looking forward to the time to read and just be. It seems like we've been so busy lately!

That said, my Christmas stress is indeed low. The last of my cards went in the mail today (yes they'll be late, but oh well). Gifts for family were made and sent. Modest gifts for under our tree have been procured/made and wrapped. All that's left for this weekend is to make some Christmas cookies and other confections for us to enjoy.

I'm sure I'll be checking in over the weekend. But if not, I'd like to wish all my bloggy friends a blessed, safe and enjoyable Christmas.

By the way, it's still not too late to participate in the Heifer Blog-o-than. So far we've raised $650! Click here to help.

moderation

I activated the comment moderation feature earlier today. I think I might keep it up for a bit as an experiment. Comments are still welcome, I just get to read them before they are posted. And I reserve the right to reject comments that are inappropriate, hostile or otherwise unwelcome.

I was prompted to enable comment moderation by an anonymous comment that I deleted this morning. I'll admit, I overreacted. But I've been feeling very vulnerable lately (vulernability being part of the universal novitiate experience as far as I can tell) and didn't feel like dealing with what I took as an unecessary hostile comment to a post that took a lot for me to write.

So, to Mr. or Ms. Anonymous, I apologize for deleting your comment. If you'd included an e-mail or blogger ID, I would have contacted you directly. For those of you who have NO idea what I'm talking about, the comment was in reaction to an Article I quoted from our Groovy Sister Constitutions at the end of my last post. My anonymous friend did not appreciate the fact that the Constitutions talk about "Joseph" without the preface "St." The deleted comment has gone to comment heaven, but it said something like "how hard would it be for them to write 'St Joseph.' I just don't get it."

Well, first of all, it's not for you to get. I'm sharing my journey here, and it's a journey that I'm taking in the company of some very prayerful and amazingly groovy Sisters. We are in fact the Congregation of the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace. Joseph is our patron. And yes, he is a Saint as our Congegation's name attests to. But our Constitutions are an internal document (approved by the Vatican by the way) that guide our life of prayer, community and ministry. I often use them for prayer. And I LOVE the fact that they express a personal relationship with our patron. He knows that we know that he's a Saint. I don't think he's offended by our leaving the title out in our Constitutions. In fact, I have a feeling he enjoys the close relationship with him started by our founder and continued to this day. Hope that quenches your curiousity a bit.

Back to the larger concept of comment moderation ... I try to keep this here little corner of the blogosphere peaceful and respectful. Yes I am a more liberal member of the Church and as the groovy quality of my groovy sisters implies, so is my religious community. I do not hide that fact. If you are offended by such things, by all means feel no need to read my blog or leave a comment. I know that other corners of the Catholic blogosphere have different philosophies and welcome debate and a harsher attitude. To each their own.

Now, I'm afraid I need to cut things short. I'm cooking dinner tonight and I've got to check on my meatloaf.

Peace to you all, whatever corner of the church you inhabit.

Especially in times of struggle and uncertainty

On Wednesday one of the Sisters I live with led our Novitiate House Community in a retreat day. In the morning, she suggested we reflect on the response of either Joseph or Mary in the Infancy narratives. I spent some time with this passage from Matthew:

Now this is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about. When his mother Mary was betrothed to Joseph, but before they lived together, she was found with child through the holy Spirit. Joseph her husband, since he was a righteous man, yet unwilling to expose her to shame, decided to divorce her quietly. Such was his intention when, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, "Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary your wife into your home. For it is through the holy Spirit that this child has been conceived in her. She will bear a son and you are to name him Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins."

Do not be afraid ... for it is through the Holy Spirit. Joseph was faced with an unexpected and downright unwelcome situation - Mary was pregnant and he knew that this was a sticky situation. Looking through the eyes of the world, he decided to act as justly as possible within the social constructs by quietly divorcing her. But then God asked him to look through the eyes of God instead. What if the unexpected and unwelcome situation was of the Spirit? Could he welcome the unruly situation into his home? Into his heart? Could he overcome the fear and see where it led? Could he literally welcome God into his life?

These days, I'll admit that sometimes my daily existence seems unruly and unmanageable. Nothing terribly serious, just unbloggables related to giving up a good life of friendship, work and ministry for this Novitiate experience that is so hard to explain and sometimes harder to live through. And some related unbloggables having to do with spending all my time in the same place with the same people. You can probably imagine some of the challenges.

When I look at what is quickly approaching 4 months as a Novice through the eyes of the world, things look a bit crazy, somewhat unmanageable and not ok. But what if the unruliness is of the Spirit (which I suspect it is)? The first thing I suppose is to discern that very fact. But then ... and here comes the hard part as I'm sure Joseph experienced ... to welcome it into your home. Your life. Your heart. To forgo the blame, shame and fear and to lovingly care for that which is born of the Spirit.

Food for thought and reflection this Advent. I was reminded of this passage from our Groovy Sister Constitutions:

From the beginning of the congregation
Joseph was chosen as our patron
because he is a model of peace.
His courage to live a life of faith
inspires us to trust in God's abiding love,
especially in times of struggle and uncertainty.

you have to wonder

WaPo is reporting that 7 Monks were injured in a clash over a Monastery in Greece:

Rival groups of monks wielding crowbars and sledgehammers clashed Wednesday over control of a 1,000-year-old monastery in a community regarded as the cradle of Orthodox Christianity, police said. ...

Esphigmenou monastery is the scene of a long-running dispute between Orthodox Church authorities and rebel monks who occupy the facility. Both Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew I, leader of the Orthodox Christian church, and Greece's highest administrative court have ordered their eviction, but the monks have refused to budge. ...

Esphigmenou is one of 20 monasteries on Athos, where women are banned.

You have to wonder ... would this have happened if women weren't banned from the Island?

Wow!

Less than 24 hours ago I started a "blog-a-thon" to raise money for Heifer International to help end world Hunger. I came back from a day away from the computer (see below for details) to see that the contribution thermometer is up to 96% of my goal of $500. That doesn't include a pledge of $50 so really I'm above my goal by $30. Wow! Thanks to everyone who contributed to such a worthy cause. And if you haven't contributed but would still like to, I'm totally ok with exceeding my fundraising goal by buckets of money! Especially since it will provide families in need with food and a livelihood.

I am SO feeling the Christmas Spirit.

Now for the update on my day away not only from the computer but from the Novitiate House and fine state of New Jersey: I spent the day in New York City with a Paulist priest friend of mine. I took the bus across the GW Bridge and then caught the Subway to Columbus Circle and walked the 2 blocks to the Rectory. It took just under an hour and was easy as pie! My charming host then led me on a grand tour of the City. We saw the windows at Macy's AND snuck a peek at Santa. We had lunch at an Indian Restaurant in NoHo and dessert in Little Italy. We visited both the Old St Patrick's Cathedral and the new one. Checked out the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and skating rink. And walked back by way of Central Park. My feet are TIRED but my spirit is renewed (and one might even say Christmas-y). It was great to spend the day with my friend Rick and to see New York with all the hustle & bustle of Christmas.

Blog-a-thon to Help End World Hunger

This Christmas season I've decided to try to use my blog to raise some money to help end world hunger through Heifer International. You can take the peace & justice advocate out of action, but you can't take the action out of the peace & justice advocate (or however that goes). This is something small I can do from the Novitiate.

The idea is simple ... it's like a blog-a-thon (as opposed to a read-a-thon). If my bloggy friends (and real life family & friends) can pitch in a small amount, I'm sure we'll reach my goal of raising $500 in no time. Any donation large or small will help us get there!

I chose Heifer International to help because they are a wonderful organization working to end hunger and poverty in the world. For more than six decades, Heifer has been helping poor families around the world become self-reliant by providing animals and the training to care for them. Each recipient family promises to pass along offspring from their animal to another family in need.

Heifer's simple but effective solution has helped more than seven million families -- 38 million people -- in more than 125 countries including the US, where more than 10 million people are chronically hungry.

Thanks in advance for indulging me. If you can help out, thanks!

Blessings of Peace,
Susan

Visit my personal fundraising page at:
http://ga6.org/heifer/fundraising/susanfrancois-85732

party for the Sisters

The party for the Sisters was a great success! Much joy & merriment ... made all the preparations well worth it!

Holiday shopping

We're hosting a party at the Novitiate House tomorrow afternoon for the Sisters who live next door. We're expecting about 40 Sisters from the Infirmary & Assisted Living center to attend our shindig. As you can expect, we've been busy with the pre-party preparations.

Today I went to the local grocery story to make some last minute purchases. My cart was full, and I was carefully scanning the list to make sure I'd gotten everything when it hit me ... Here I am, a young nun shopping for a bunch of older nuns. And what's in my cart? Wine, cream puffs, mini eclairs (which my spell check wanted to change to hecklers), french onion dip, and other assorted treats. Oh yeah, and a bottle of Irish Whiskey. I even got carded at the checkout line. If only she knew ....

(And yes, in case you are wondering, Sisters can have a drink on occasion, especially at a Christmas Party hosted by "the future of the community"!)

simpler christmas

Your Holiday Personality is Caring

You like to reach out to people all year long, but you're especially giving during the holidays. Make those you love homemade presents (like cookies or scarves). Call someone who might be feeling a little down. Give to your favorite charity.

How Should You Spend the Holidays?

For the past several years I've been trying to simplify my Christmas experience. Perhaps it was surviving 5 K-Mart Christmases, but I couldn't really see how running myself ragged and overspending was in the Spirit of the holiday. So bit by bit, I simplified.

One year instead of presents for the family, I "bought" a goat from Heifer International in their honor. Knowing that they'd want something to unwrap, I also bought little toy goats and put a note around their neck explaining the gift to charity (the note went around the goat's neck, not my family members!). Other years I bought Fair Trade gifts from A Greater Gift. I've even been known to subject my loved ones to the offspring of my more crafty moments.

I was also part of an education effort at my parish to share suggestions like these with parishioners ... if you're looking to simplify your Christmas you can still find tips on the St Phil's Peace & Justice Commission website from years past. I particularly like the Buy Me Nothing Coupons which you can download as a PDF.
What I noticed each year as I let go of the commercialization of Christmas was that I had more room to experience the awesome reality of God With Us. In hindsight, I'm glad that I was on this gradual journey to a simpler Christmas. Otherwise I'd probably be in for quite a shock! As a novice I do have some spending money, but it's limited and I don't have access to credit cards. Add to that the fact that any gifts I'd buy for loved ones I'd have to pay to ship, and I'm being even MORE simple this year. Which is a gift in itself.

my nephew sid

My nephew Sid, or more accurately my CAT nephew Sid, went to kitty heaven today. My first real nephew Brendan went to college this Fall ... Sid was a few months older than Brendan and my first nephew, even if of the feline kind.

In High School I used to spend the weekends with my big brother Michael in Baltimore. I'd wake up and Sid would be sleeping on my chest (I of course have ashtma so that was always fun!). He was a fun little energetic kitty in those days.

Sid made the move with Michael to California a number of years ago. He'd always be there to welcome me with an energetic "meow" whenever I came to visit. Now of course I was armed with allergy & asthma medicine, ready to snuggle with my cat nephew. As the years went by he was less energetic but just as fun.

My brother met a lovely woman from Romania a few years ago. This past spring they were engaged and started the paper work for her to get her visa to come to the US. Michael has been telling Sid about Carina for months now as he prepared for her arrival. She arrived on Thursday ... Sid died the next day. As my brother said in his email: "We decided he was probably holding on for so long just to meet Carina, who I have been telling him about every night for months; Sid was a very good listener. Now that he's passed me on to her, he's taken off for kitty heaven. He had a good life, and he'll be missed."

Yes he did, and yes he will. So long Sid ... I'll miss my cat nephew!

When God Said Ha!!

Julie's got a post on her blog titled "what motivates a person to become a nun." Good question, and one that I suppose is the underlying theme of THIS entire blog. In any case, there was a line in her post that jumped out at me:

I decided I’d check out the religious thing just to say “been there, done that”

Ditto. I'm sure I've told this story here before, but let's recap. I had a successful career that I couldn't care less about and I was very active in justice and peace ministry at my church which I loved. At one point it dawned on me (with the help of some angels in disguise) that maybe I should think about what that meant. What if I could find a way to integrate my work and spiritual life? How awesome would that be? I decided to check out the religious life thing so I could cross it off my list and move on to more realistic possibilities. I mean, me, a nun? How silly would that be? But that's when "God said Ha!," to quote Julia Sweeney. 'Cause it turned out, silly/crazy/or not, that what I found was a community and life where I made sense. I found home.

Of course, I'm still in discernment. And God keeps finding ways to pepper my life with those "funny" moments that sometimes stop me in my tracks. But even in this liminal space of the Novitiate, where I am not living the life I had and haven't quite transitioned to the life God has in store, I still feel at home at the deep level. Where it counts.

goodbyes

Today was our last day at our Intercommunity Novitiate Program for this Semester. We return in five weeks after our Christmas Break.

I can't say enough about this program, especially our group of novices and novice directors. We definitely bonded. At lunch today, someone commented that you could sit next to anyone in the group at the table and instantly fall into a comfortable conversation.

Almost every Tuesday and Wednesday since Septemeber, we have shared classes, meals, liturgy, prayer, and conversation with this group. It has been such a pleasure to get to know them. The Novices are a diverse group, from early 20's to early 50's, 8 countries of origin and 8 religious congregations. But we are all answering God's call. We're all going through the liminal experience of Novitiate. So when you share an experience you went through that someone else would think was crazy, your intercommunity novitiate friends nod their heads and tell you about a similar experience they went through the week before.

The topics and content of our presentations have also been extremely valuable. The presenters were good ... some were great. This Semester we delved into the History of Religious Life, Liturgical Planning, Theology of Prayer, Mindfulness Meditation, the Vows, and Personal Integration & the Spiritual Life. We only scratched the surface on most of it, but it was all helpful.

The sad thing is that when we head back at the end of January, 4 Novices and 2 Novice Directors will no longer be with us. They will be continuing on to the next stages of their Novitiate journeys. We will miss them. Goodbyes are never easy, but I have a feeling we will stay in touch.

ho ho ho hat

Do you use flickr? There's an "easter egg" for adding a hat (and a beard) to a picture. Just add the following note to your picture and see what happens: "ho ho ho hat".

Hat tip to nerdygirl




Here's another fun trick ... make yourself into an elf!

stag turned nun

Today’s first reading is from Isaiah and includes this line:

Then will the lame leap like a stag, then the tongue of the dumb will sing. Streams will burst forth in the desert, and rivers in the steppe.

I don't know that I'm lame or leaping, but I do have the distinction of being a stag. A DeMatha Stag to be exact. Those of you from the Washington, DC area may be wondering how that is possible.

You see, DeMatha is one of the premier Catholic High Schools in the country (as an alum, I have to say that but it is also true). It is well know for their academics, sports (especially basketball) and music programs. It also happens to be an all boys school. And yes, I have always been of the female gender.

So how did I end up a Stag? Sadly, my fabulous but struggling all girls school (run by another group of groovy sisters) closed at the end of my Junior Year. Some of us were already taking classes at our brother school, and so a deal was struck where we got to stay together for our Senior year by heading across town to DeMatha. 700 boys, 21 girls. It was an interesting year to say the least.

The other day I had a lot of traffic from the DeMatha Alumni e-mail which included a link to my blog (courtesy of my big brother who is also a Stag and I guess alerted the Alumni office to the existence of my musings). The Alumni office has been planning to do a story on me - religious vocations from Catholic Schools are news, even when they are delayed by 15 years. Plus, as the e-mail said, I "could very well be a true original - the first DeMatha graduate to become a nun." I'm willing to bet I'll be the LAST DeMatha graduate to become a nun.

snow globe confession

I have a confession to make ... I am addicted to the RevGalBlogPal Daily Trivia Challenge. Does it matter that I rarely get all 10 questions correct? NO! Does it matter than the only prizes are bragging rights and assorted fake prizes? NO! It's a fun way to spend 2 to 3 minutes each day AND as an added bonus it is a way to connect with my revgalblogpals.

This morning I actually got all the questions right! A rare occurrence indeed, and one that deserved to be commemorated. So, I cashed in some of my FunTrivia Bucks and "purchased" this cute little snow globe. It seemed seasonal!

Today's a busy day so I should get going. I've got my individual conference with my Novice Director where I'll be sharing my 3 month personal evaluation. Then it's off to the Hospital for my 2nd day as a volunteer in the pastoral care department.

Peace Out my bloggy friends,
Susan

Christmas is coming

You Are a Cranberry and Popcorn Strung Tree

Christmas is all about showcasing your creative talents. From cookies to nicely wrapped presents, your unique creations impress everyone.

What Christmas Tree Are You?

This afternoon was the east coast Groovy Sisters Province Advent Liturgy & Luncheon. It was a lovely time, although I was in high introvert mode. I'm still getting to know folks in this Province, and a room full of people who know who I am but that I don't necessarily know the names of tends to make me a bit quiet. Given that reality, however, I enjoyed myself and got to know some folks better.

I was tired by the time I got back to the house, however. Lucky for me folks were scattering hither & yon so I had the place to myself for a few hours to recover. I plopped myself in front of the tv and got crafty ... making a few Christmas gifts. I enjoyed myself and got reacquainted with my crafty side. A nice way to spend the evening. There are times when I realize I miss aspects of living alone. Community is wonderful, but there's something about quality alone time that is important as well. I guess the trick is learning how to balance the two.

We're going to be decorating our actual Christmas tree this week. Maybe I can string some cranberries & popcorn to match my blog quiz!

Turning Two

My blog turns two years old this weekend. Last year, I wrote on my first blogiversay:

It's been a year. I've had approximately 15,000 visits ... And while I still haven’t found the "What should Susan do with her life" website, I guess I’ve created a "What Susan is doing with her life website" which for some reason you’re reading. And you know what, it has helped me along the journey.

Since then, my Site Meter has climbed to the 40,000 visit range. I've taken the huge step of becoming "Sr. Susan" and moved to New Jersey for Novitiate. My blog has changed a bit ... less humorous anecdotes and social/political commentary, more angsty posts about being in this time of novitiate that's not a time and this place that's not a place.

There's also a bit more pressure to writing the blog these days. For one thing, I keep meeting people who read the blog and quote me to me. That's an odd experience, but then I am the one who blogs (some of) my innermost thoughts. For another thing, I'm "Sister Susan" now and I suppose that comes with some responsibility. And to further complicate things, my world is now very small and contains very few people, which makes it extra important for me to share my story only and protect the privacy of those that share my daily existence.

Put it all together and it's a writers' challenge. I sometimes wonder what I'll think of this blogging experiment in the decades to come. Will I be grateful to the Novicey Me for documenting this time? Or will I think to myself, "What was I thinking!!"? Only time will tell.

What I do know is that I am very grateful to my mischevious and persistent God for helping me to find the courage to say yes, to Margaret Anna Cusack for founding such a groovy community of Sisters, and to the groovy Sisters themselves for keeping the vision and welcoming me into their family. Being a Novice is challenging, but I know in my heart of hearts that this is what I'm supposed to be doing right now.

In the mean time, welcome to my bloggy world. If you're a new visitor, you might want to check out the drop down menus on the side bar for some more notable posts. I've also got a Frequently Asked Question page that explains some of what I'm doing with my life. Of course, I'm still trying to figure that out myself!

Semi-Peaceful

I think were I not in the Novitiate, my score would be higher.

You Are 69% Peaceful

You are a very peaceful person. All is good in your world, no matter what's going on. Occasionally you let your problems get to you, but you generally remain upbeat. Your inner strength is inspirational - much more so than you may realize.

How Peaceful Are You?

a world in need of a miracle

In today's Gospel, Jesus is moved with pity for the crowd gathered around him and before we know it, the miracle of the loaves of fishes has happened. All were fed, and what started as 7 loaves and a few fish ended up filling 7 baskets full.

I love the version of this story in the movie Millions, told by St. Peter to the child-hero of the film. It goes like this ... (courtesy of some kind soul who transcribed the entire script and posted it online)

St. Peter: "Anyway, this kid comes up to us, about your size, … with these loaves and fishes. Sardines. And Jesus blesses them and passes the plate round. Now the first person he passes it to, passes it on. He doesn't take anything. He just passes it on. Do you know why? Because he had a piece of lamb hidden in his pocket. And as he is passing the fish, he sneaks a bit of meat out and pretends he's taken it off the plate. Do you see what I'm saying? And the next person exactly the same story. Every single one of them has their own food. And every one of them is keeping it quiet. Looking after number one. But as that plate went round with the sardines on it, they all got their own food out and started to share. And then that plate went all the way round and back to Jesus and it'd still got the fish and the loaves on it. I think Jesus was a bit taken aback. He says, 'what happened? 'And I just said 'miracle'. And at first I thought I'd fooled him. But now I see it was a miracle, one of his best. But this little kid had stood up and everybody there just got bigger."

I love this "eyewitness" account. I know it's an unorthodox interpretation, but I think we can learn alot from it. Especially given this article that my brother sent my way: "Richest 2 Percent Own Half the World." Seems to me there's a lot of sharing and getting bigger to be done.

Happy Advent.

"Hello, my name is Sr. Susan."

I think today may have been the first time I've introduced myself to complete strangers as "Sister Susan." On occasion I've had others introduce me that way or address me as Sister, but I'm fairly certain this was a first as far as me using the title to refer to me.

You see, today was my first day of ministry in the pastoral care department of our hospital. After getting a Photo ID, some blood work done to make sure I'm not contagious or overly susceptible to communicable diseases, and a very thorough tour of the hospital (although I'm still sure I'll get lost next Monday), this rookie nun made her first visit to a patient.

Knock on the door.... "Hello, my name is Sr. Susan from the Pastoral Care department. Are you [patient name]?" You can imagine the rest of the conversation.

It was a good afternoon. I felt surprisingly comfortable in the role, although I know it will be challenging. I spent a great deal of time in hospitals when my parental units were sick, and one thing I think I learned is that there is no right thing to say, no magic wand to make it all better. All you can do is reach out as a human being to another human being and be a presence in a time of need.

What did surprise me was that it also felt surprisingly comfortable to be introducing myself as Sister - 3 months into this gig. I think that is in part a byproduct of doing my Novitiate on the East Coast. Catholic Culture is much more prevalent here, especially the traditional variety. Being "Sister" means something here it doesn't mean out west, where the unchurched outnumber the churched. As long time readers of the blog know, I was not too keen on being called "Sister." My reasons were many and varied, although at the moment I'll admit to mixed feelings on the issue. It does have a time and a place. I know that if I had introduced myself simply as "Susan from the Pastoral Care department," I would not have felt as confident. After all, I do not have training or schooling in pastoral care. But I am a Sister, and that gives me some sort of authentic reason to be visiting the patient. And as for the patient, it seemed like being "Sr. Susan" gave us a starting place, a connection from which to begin our short visit.

Hmmm.... my thoughts are not that well formed on this issue. It's a developing theme. I'll probably write more about it some other day. But for now early to bed! We head off to our classes in the morning.

Peace my bloggy friends,
Sr. Susan

What's up at the Vatican?

My techie brother sent me this link, tracking the distribution of IP Addresses by Country:

There are 4,294,967,296 possible IP addresses - each of which may be assigned to a device or computer on the internet. 4 billion addresses equates to slightly less that two thirds of an IP address per person on the planet.

The number one Country in terms of IP address per capita? .....

The Vatican at 10.5 IPs per person.

Of course there aren't a lot of people at the Vatican per se, yet they represent a Global Church which probably explains the prevalence of IP addresses. But it is interesting nonetheless.

ministry

Just a quick note - I've got to get to bed as I'm driving our provincial to the airport in the wee hours of the morning. She's been here for the weekend, checking in with the 2 of us novices from the Western Province. It was good to touch base and spend some quality time with her. And I'm ok with getting up before the crack of dawn as it will be good to start my day early tomorrow, which promises to be an exciting day ...

Tomorrow afternoon I start my new ministry. For a few hours a week I will be working with the Pastoral Care department of our hospital in a nearby 'burb. This is not something I've ever done, although I have spent lots of time in hospitals when certain parental units were sick. But the idea for our ministry this year was to do something that would "stretch" us, and I thought that hospital ministry would definitely do that for me. I'm excited, but we'll see how it goes. Stay tuned ....

(and yes, I recognize I found more news fit to print!)

Refrigerator messages

Until recently, our Novitiate House Refrigerator shared wonderful affirming messages like "God is Love" (on a handmade needlepoint magnet) as well as assorted magnets from Florists and the like. I just looked over and saw that "God is Love" has been replaced. The new message???????

"The BEATINGS Will Continue Until MORALE Improves!".

Hmmmmmm.... where did that come?? Two of my compatriots did go on a shopping trip today for a Christmas tree. I'm guessing they are the culprits! All in good fun I am sure.

That's all the news that's fit to print from the Novitiate House on this 1st Sunday of Advent.

"I hope you come to find that which gives life a deep meaning for you"

On December 2, 1980 four American churchwomen working with the poor in El Salvador – Maryknoll Sisters Maura Clarke and Ita Ford, Ursuline Sister Dorothy Kazel, and lay missioner Jean Donovan – were kidnapped, abused and murdered by the US backed military of El Salvador. In the end they met the same fate as thousands of the unnamed poor of El Salvador who were killed or disappeared.

What follows is an except from a letter written by Ita Ford to her niece and goddaughter Jennifer a few months before her murder. I found it somewhere online and used it last year in an Advent Peace Vigil. It takes the abstract and makes it very real in the every day sense.

August 18, 1980
Dear Jennifer,

The odds that this note will arrive for your birthday are poor, but know I'm with you in spirit as you celebrate 16 big ones. …

What I want to say...some of it isn't too jolly birthday talk, but it's real... Yesterday I stood looking down at a 16-year-old who had been killed a few hours earlier. I know a lot of kids even younger who are dead. This is a terrible time in El Salvador for youth. A lot of idealism and commitment is getting snuffed out here now. …

Brooklyn is not passing through the drama of El Salvador, but some things hold true wherever one is, and at whatever age. What I'm saying is, I hope you come to find that which gives life a deep meaning for you...something worth living for, maybe even worth dying for...something that energizes you, enthuses you, enables you to keep moving ahead. I can't tell you what it might be -- that's for you to find, to choose, to love. I can just encourage you to start looking, and support you in the search. Maybe this sounds weird and off-the-wall, and maybe, no one else will talk to you like this, but then, too, I'm seeing and living things that others around you aren't...

I want to say to you: don't waste the gifts and opportunities you have to make yourself and other people happy... I hope this doesn't sound like some kind of a sermon because I don't mean it that way. Rather, it's something you learn here, and I want to share it with you. In fact, it's my birthday present to you. If it doesn't make sense right at this moment, keep this and read it sometime from now. Maybe it will be clearer...

A very happy birthday to you and much, much love,
Ita

Adventure

I cannot believe it's almost Advent! I also can't believe that it's 6:30PM and it's pitch black outside!

One of our presenters last week commented that in her opinion, it's not a coincidence that the word "Advent" is in the word "Adventure." Advent is a waiting, but it is a waiting for a grand adventure - Emmanuel - Christ with us.

This afternoon our Novitiate Community joined the Sisters next door for Advent Faith Sharing. We're invited to join them each week of Advent for a discussion of the coming Sunday's Gospel. It was so humbling to be with these women as they shared their faith journeys. Like all of us, they struggle with the busy-ness of life. With the irritations of the day. With the need for patience. And the challenge of making time to just be in the presence of God.

Blessed are those who blog

I was doing some research for an Advent Penance service (I'm on the liturgical commission for our Intercommunity Novitiate program) and ran across this post on the Liturgy Blog for the San Jose Diocese Liturgy Office ... Blessed are They Who Blog.

Very interesting - and she even quotes Issac Hecker (founder of my Paulist friends). It's worth a read.