This weekend I’m heading up North to the groovy sisters’ spot on the lake for a simple Ritual of Welcome for Hellen and me (the two candidates for vowed membership in the Western province).
My friend Jackie joked that it’s kind of like my religious life version of the Fly-Up ceremony in Girl Scouts. In a way, it is. Ritual is important. Marking growth, change and transition. I found the picture a while back from my Bridging Ceremony, the big day when I went from a mere Brownie to a Junior Girl Scout. I got a Girl Scout Pin, my Brownie Wings, and if memory serves me we were in a park and actually crossed a little bridge over a creek. Like I said, it was a big day in the life of this then little girl.
So Saturday is another big day on this journey called life, when I am welcomed by the groovy sister community as a candidate. Should be fun.
Have a good weekend everyone!
Peace,
Susan
9.29.2005
Big Brother Turns 40
Today is my brother Michael's 40th Birthday. Wow. I'm 7 years younger and that even makes me feel old! But my brother is not old. He is wise and loving and funny and stylish and has great taste in music. And he will always be young at heart, even when he turns 80!
I was lucky enough to be one of those girls with a cool older brother living in the City who would actually hang out with me. Weekends in high school would find me driving up to Baltimore to see my big brother. We'd go to shows, visit with his friends, and just generally be. I've always had tips on the latest bands thanks to my big brother.
I was lucky enough to be one of those girls with a cool older brother living in the City who would actually hang out with me. Weekends in high school would find me driving up to Baltimore to see my big brother. We'd go to shows, visit with his friends, and just generally be. I've always had tips on the latest bands thanks to my big brother.
As we've gotten older our relationship has matured. In times of trouble, I know I can turn to him and vice versa. When I do something stupid (like knock the side mirror off my car!) and my deepest desire is to talk to my mom who will make it all better, I can't tell you what it means to me to have my big brother who I can call and who will also make it all better. And at good times I can call him and celebrate.
My brother is not just my brother, he's my friend.
Happy Birthday Big Brother!
9.28.2005
looking back
Today’s Gospel is a hard one.
As Jesus and his disciples were proceeding
on their journey, someone said to him,
"I will follow you wherever you go."
Jesus answered him,
"Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head."
And to another he said, "Follow me."
But he replied, "Lord, let me go first and bury my father."
But he answered him, "Let the dead bury their dead.
But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God."
And another said, "I will follow you, Lord,
but first let me say farewell to my family at home."
Jesus answered him, "No one who sets a hand to the plow
and looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God." (Luke 9:57-62)
Like I said, that Jesus guy has some hard messages for us sometimes. I know with all my heart that answering the call to follow him is not only what I’m meant to do, it’s what I want to do.
But it’s not easy, as this passage shows. The line that jumped out at me this morning was "No one who … looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God." I think it jumped out because, in the near future, I’m going to be leaving a lot behind. With my Dad’s saying he’ll help me out of my debt situation, my timeline has suddenly moved forward and become clear. There’s a good chance I’ll be leaving around this time next year for Novitiate in New Jersey. That fills me with joy and wonder at God’s blessings. But it also has me looking back.
I know from experience how hard it is when a friend is moving on to something new and away from your daily life. You struggle with enjoying the time you spend with them while in the back of your mind thinking, is this the last time we’ll have chocolate ice cream together? It’s hard to be present without thinking about the fact that they’re leaving. Like I said, I’ve done this. But now I’m noticing people are starting to do that with me, and it’s almost a whole year away. Tricky ….
I think rather than looking behind, the trick is to bring what was left behind with you. In your heart. Knowing you would not be who you are were it not for those people and experiences. Knowing that while you can’t go back nor would you really want to, those people will continue to be part of your new life.
As Jesus and his disciples were proceeding
on their journey, someone said to him,
"I will follow you wherever you go."
Jesus answered him,
"Foxes have dens and birds of the sky have nests,
but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest his head."
And to another he said, "Follow me."
But he replied, "Lord, let me go first and bury my father."
But he answered him, "Let the dead bury their dead.
But you, go and proclaim the Kingdom of God."
And another said, "I will follow you, Lord,
but first let me say farewell to my family at home."
Jesus answered him, "No one who sets a hand to the plow
and looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God." (Luke 9:57-62)
Like I said, that Jesus guy has some hard messages for us sometimes. I know with all my heart that answering the call to follow him is not only what I’m meant to do, it’s what I want to do.
But it’s not easy, as this passage shows. The line that jumped out at me this morning was "No one who … looks to what was left behind is fit for the Kingdom of God." I think it jumped out because, in the near future, I’m going to be leaving a lot behind. With my Dad’s saying he’ll help me out of my debt situation, my timeline has suddenly moved forward and become clear. There’s a good chance I’ll be leaving around this time next year for Novitiate in New Jersey. That fills me with joy and wonder at God’s blessings. But it also has me looking back.
I know from experience how hard it is when a friend is moving on to something new and away from your daily life. You struggle with enjoying the time you spend with them while in the back of your mind thinking, is this the last time we’ll have chocolate ice cream together? It’s hard to be present without thinking about the fact that they’re leaving. Like I said, I’ve done this. But now I’m noticing people are starting to do that with me, and it’s almost a whole year away. Tricky ….
I think rather than looking behind, the trick is to bring what was left behind with you. In your heart. Knowing you would not be who you are were it not for those people and experiences. Knowing that while you can’t go back nor would you really want to, those people will continue to be part of your new life.
9.27.2005
a bit about me in factors of five
Mark Mossa had this meme on his blog with an open ended tag. Looked like an interesting list of things I know about me that you might not know, so I've tagged myself and here goes:
Five Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
--Become a groovy sister
--Get a graduate degree in SOMETHING (theology most likely)
--Learn how to knit
--Write a book (again about SOMETHING) that people actually read
--Continue to grow and develop in my relationship to God
Five Things I Can Do
--Crochet
--Sing the Preamble to the Constitution School House Rock style
--Say “Crime & Punishment” in Russian
--Reorganize a chaotic freezer and find room where there was no room
--Sit and watch the ocean waves for hours upon hours
Five Things I Cannot Do
--Remember the rules to card games
--Not be annoyed when the restroom I use is marked “Ladies” while my gentlemen friends go through the door marked “Men.” (Boys goes with Girls. Men with Women. Ladies wih Gentlemen.)
--Knit
--Spend more than 3 days without reading the paper or listening to npr
--Whistle
Five Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
--Eyes
--Voice
--Openness of heart and mind
--sense of humor
--Anything more might be scandalous (stealing this line from Mark Mossa but it certainly applies!)
Five Things I Say Most Often
--Right Right
--[Fill in the blank] is a child of God (my mantra when someone annoys me)
--I don’t know
--You know?
--Hmmmmm....
Five Celebrity Crushes
-There is only one. Ewan McGregor is my one and only movie boyfriend.
Five People I Want to Do This
Some of you have already done this meme. I leave it up to the others if they want to play.
Five Things I Plan To Do Before I Die
--Become a groovy sister
--Get a graduate degree in SOMETHING (theology most likely)
--Learn how to knit
--Write a book (again about SOMETHING) that people actually read
--Continue to grow and develop in my relationship to God
Five Things I Can Do
--Crochet
--Sing the Preamble to the Constitution School House Rock style
--Say “Crime & Punishment” in Russian
--Reorganize a chaotic freezer and find room where there was no room
--Sit and watch the ocean waves for hours upon hours
Five Things I Cannot Do
--Remember the rules to card games
--Not be annoyed when the restroom I use is marked “Ladies” while my gentlemen friends go through the door marked “Men.” (Boys goes with Girls. Men with Women. Ladies wih Gentlemen.)
--Knit
--Spend more than 3 days without reading the paper or listening to npr
--Whistle
Five Things That Attract Me To The Opposite Sex
--Eyes
--Voice
--Openness of heart and mind
--sense of humor
--Anything more might be scandalous (stealing this line from Mark Mossa but it certainly applies!)
Five Things I Say Most Often
--Right Right
--[Fill in the blank] is a child of God (my mantra when someone annoys me)
--I don’t know
--You know?
--Hmmmmm....
Five Celebrity Crushes
-There is only one. Ewan McGregor is my one and only movie boyfriend.
Five People I Want to Do This
Some of you have already done this meme. I leave it up to the others if they want to play.
terrorized nun
My brother sent me this link - Nun Terrorized by Terror Watch. A very interesting read.
A few years ago I got a frantic call from my Dad that my mom was in ICU close to death and about to have her leg amputated. I immediately booked a plane and was at the airport within hours. This was when the TSA was checking carry on bags at the gate. Here I was, emotionally tramautized and not sure if my mom was going to live, and I had the entire contents of my carry on dumped out and inspected. From underwear to feminine hygiene products. To my asthma inhaler which they took apart. Not once, but twice as this happened at my connection too. I was close to tears and asked them why this was necessary. Apparently I was on a watch list because of the last minute purchase of my ticket. Luckily this didn't continue to follow me over the next few years as I was flying a lot when Mom was sick. Unlike this sister, I don't know anyone who can call Karl Rove!
A few years ago I got a frantic call from my Dad that my mom was in ICU close to death and about to have her leg amputated. I immediately booked a plane and was at the airport within hours. This was when the TSA was checking carry on bags at the gate. Here I was, emotionally tramautized and not sure if my mom was going to live, and I had the entire contents of my carry on dumped out and inspected. From underwear to feminine hygiene products. To my asthma inhaler which they took apart. Not once, but twice as this happened at my connection too. I was close to tears and asked them why this was necessary. Apparently I was on a watch list because of the last minute purchase of my ticket. Luckily this didn't continue to follow me over the next few years as I was flying a lot when Mom was sick. Unlike this sister, I don't know anyone who can call Karl Rove!
standing for peace is exhausting
Thanks to Jan for the swift e-mailing of photos from Saturday! This picture is of me, Sr. Sheila and Sr. Terry during the milling around time before the march. Yes, we all ended up wearing pink.
After we got home, someone commented that marching for peace is exhausting. Since we spent about as much time milling around waiting for the march to start and then for the traffic flow to make sense, I decided that it's really standing for peace that's exhausting.
After we got home, someone commented that marching for peace is exhausting. Since we spent about as much time milling around waiting for the march to start and then for the traffic flow to make sense, I decided that it's really standing for peace that's exhausting.
meeting the parents
At various points on this vocation journey I’ve struggled for a context and come up with ... dating. It’s different, I know, but as a 30-something American woman it’s the social construct that helps me best understand this process, in particular the getting to know communities aspect. For example, when I was confused about whether I was called to the groovy sisters or another great community (that in retrospect I always knew was not me), it felt like I was double dating. Should I go out with the guy who just seems to be meant for me - fun and exciting - or for the nice guy who is steady and true. See, the dating analogies do in fact help.
Well, last Friday was the vocation version of meeting the parents. My Dad took Sr. Sheila (groovy sister congregation leader), Sr. Terry (g.s. assistant leader) and me out to dinner. It was a pleasant conversation. Dad asked lots of questions about the community, their personal histories, etc... They were troopers and didn’t seem fazed. It wasn’t until I left to go use the ladies room that I realized ... I left them alone to talk about me! It was such a meeting the parents moment. Would Dad approve? Would he embarrass me? Would they pass the test for his baby daughter?
In the end it was fine, more than fine. They enjoyed getting to meet Dad. Dad I think really liked having faces to put to the community. The next night he and I had dinner alone and he had many more questions. About the community. About what I see myself doing. About the future of religious life. Etc... And in the end, it turns out he’s changed his mind and decided to help me pay off my debt so that I can start novitiate after this candidacy year. Most likely, if all goes according to plan. I’ve been praying for this for so long, now that it’s happened I kind of can’t believe it. Funny how that works.
I’m back home by the way. Back to work tomorrow. Not really looking forward to that. But it’s not forever. And now is even less so not forever!
While in DC I also was able to reconnect with Bloggy friend Brandon live and in person, and meet bloggy friend Omis for the first time. I loved catching up on Brandon’s transition from novice to seminarian (hang in there! you’ll do great! and don‘t let you know who be too bossy!) and on Omis’ continuing discernment journey. Good fun having some of my virtual companions become more real life companions on this journey.
Well, off to bed for this tuckered out traveller.
Peace,
Susan
9.25.2005
greetings from dc
Howdy everyone! Just checking in quickly from my dad's computer. Things are going really well. The weather cooperated for the march yesterday (only in the 70's). Oodles of people. Some peaceful, some not so peaceful. But felt good to be a witness for peace with the Sisters. Especially cool to march past the white house.
Today more quality time with Dad. We're getting along well which is not always the case so I'm thankful.
Fun with Sr. Sheila & Sr. Terry too. We all had dinner Friday with my Dad. That was good - gave him a chance to learn more about the community and become more comfortable with this all. I think he sees how they are a fit.
Tonight I get to visit with my friend Fr. Steve and two bloggy friends in real time! Quite excited about that.
Back to Portland tomorrow afternoon. The only down side is I seem to have caught a bit of a cold. Not fun :)
Take care everyone!
Susan
Today more quality time with Dad. We're getting along well which is not always the case so I'm thankful.
Fun with Sr. Sheila & Sr. Terry too. We all had dinner Friday with my Dad. That was good - gave him a chance to learn more about the community and become more comfortable with this all. I think he sees how they are a fit.
Tonight I get to visit with my friend Fr. Steve and two bloggy friends in real time! Quite excited about that.
Back to Portland tomorrow afternoon. The only down side is I seem to have caught a bit of a cold. Not fun :)
Take care everyone!
Susan
9.21.2005
vacation ... finally
Summer's basically over but it's now time for MY vacation. Only 3 days away from the office, but I'm actually going somewhere. If Hurricane Rita cooperates that is. I'm flying from Portland to DC. You'd think the Hurricane wouldn't pose a problem. But I'm flying through Houston. Hence the problem. I called to see about rebooking an alternate route but that would have cost $900. So I'm taking the chance with my originally scheduled redeye flight Wednesday night/Thursday morning.
Expected highlights of my trip?
Expected highlights of my trip?
- Quality father-daughter time (the main purpose of the trip) hopefully with an art gallery or Smithsionian museum part of the bargain! That's what I miss most about DC.
- A visit to my mom's gravesite. Grandma & Granddad too who are just up the hill.
- A chance to get to know Sr. Sheila (groovy sister congregation leader) and Sr. Terry (assistant leader) better. They live in DC and will be my hosts as my dad's place doesn't welcome visitors. Also hoping my Dad can meet them and that will help him get a handle on this whole vocation thing.
- The Peace March & Rally on Saturday (with the Sisters). My first "March on Washington" type event!!! And how cool that I get to be part of the groovy sister contingent? Sisters of Peace after all...
- Dinner with my former pastor and good friend Fr. Steve. He moved to DC last year.
- And the added bonus, a real life interaction with my bloggy friend Omis! As part of one of the events listed above but I'm not going to say which one :)
The muggy weather I'm not looking forward too, but I'll live. As you can see I've got lots of other things to look forward to in an action packed few days. Hope (and pray) Rita cooperates and I get out of town. Theoretically I should be fine, since my flight from Portland gets into Houston at 6 and my flight to BWI leaves at 8 am. We'll see.
Not sure what my internet access will be like. Might check in from DC. Might not.
9.20.2005
peace day cometh
Tomorrow (September 21st) is the International Day of Peace.
Great prayer resources available here from the folks at the Intercommunity Peace & Justice Center in Seattle (the groovy sisters are one of the sponsors of the center and I readily admit working there is among my dream jobs. There, I said it!)
Read all about the story behind the International Day of Peace on the UN site.
And, if you happen to be in the Washington, DC area this weekend you can of course be a witness for peace at the massive Peace March, Rally & Festival. Oh wait, I will be in the DC area this weekend. Yeah for me! Looking forward to participating with groovy sisters. Of course my dad's worried he'll have to bail us out of jail :)
There are other events for peace planned this weekend across the country. For example, here in Portland my Pax Christi Chapter and Parish are among the cosponsors of a Candlelight Peace Vigil on the Bridges.
Most importantly, pray for peace. In Iraq yes (we're close to 2,000 US deaths and many more Iraqi deaths and injuries on all sides) but in the other 35 areas of conflict around the globe. And within our own country, cities and even families as well. And our hearts.
Remember, blessed are the peacemakers. Be peace.
punk rock nun, reprise
Found the What Kind of Rocker Are You Quiz via Jane Ellen. I'll admit it, I was REALLY hoping I'd be a punk rocker. It's made my day, honestly because (drumroll)....
| You Are a Punk Rocker! |
 When it comes to rock, you don't follow any rules You know that rocking out is all about taking down the man You've got an incredible stage presence and rock persona You scare moms, make bad girls (or boys) swoon, and live life on the edge! |
Yes! I am a punk rock nun to be. And so I reprise (and revise) my version of the Dead Milkmen's Punk Rock Girl from an earlier post for your reading enjoyment. Good day everyone!
Punk Rock Nun
You want to change the world
Punk Rock Nun
You love Jesus & God
Let’s go change the world
Just you and me Punk Rock Nun
on prayer
One new development in my life … people ask me to pray for them or loved ones. At first I was weirded out by this phenomenon. Did they think I had some special pipeline to the big guy. Then I realized that no, it’s just that they know I actually pray. Each and every day. And so I do, and it’s really an honor to be asked to hold someone in prayer when you get down to it. My list is getting a little long though (I gave up a while ago and do in fact have a written list.)
A coworker and friend of mine told me today that she told her Dad (who’s been battling cancer) that her friend Susan, the one who was becoming a nun, had been praying for him. He was a bit down in the dumps and this apparently made him feel better. Then she told him she’d been praying for him too. He’s a devout Christian and she’s pretty new agey, so then he asked her if she remembered to pray to Jesus. He’s not so sure about just general prayers to the creator God & Spirit.
I’m of the personal opinion that just having folks thinking about you and praying for you, focusing God’s love and compassion can’t hurt. No matter what formula they use or prayers they say. Don’t quite understand how it works beyond that, but I know I’ve been feeling everyone praying for me lately.
And so I continue to pray...
A coworker and friend of mine told me today that she told her Dad (who’s been battling cancer) that her friend Susan, the one who was becoming a nun, had been praying for him. He was a bit down in the dumps and this apparently made him feel better. Then she told him she’d been praying for him too. He’s a devout Christian and she’s pretty new agey, so then he asked her if she remembered to pray to Jesus. He’s not so sure about just general prayers to the creator God & Spirit.
I’m of the personal opinion that just having folks thinking about you and praying for you, focusing God’s love and compassion can’t hurt. No matter what formula they use or prayers they say. Don’t quite understand how it works beyond that, but I know I’ve been feeling everyone praying for me lately.
And so I continue to pray...
9.19.2005
on hurricanes & tax cuts
I've got a post on tax cuts, poverty & the hurricane on Sollictudo Rei Socialis if you're interested in my latest effort at rabble rousing.
checking our hearing
Today, Jesus tells us:
Take care then, how you hear. Those words jumped out at me from today's Gospel. Over the weekend one of the Sisters was saying how she's caught herself in a quandry lately. She prays each day for a certain political leader to have a change of heart, but then whenever she reads about yet another stupid thing the aforementioned leader has said or done, she finds herself full of anger and frustration. Is she really open to this leader having a change of heart?
Which got me thinking, are our ears (and hearts) really open? Whatever our political leanings, at times we are likely to be cynical and know what the answers are, if only they would ask us! Cyncicsm can filter what we hear though. It can filter the light from another's basket, and leave us in the dark.
And I have a feeling this happens to us not only in our following of major geo-political figures, but in our daily lives. Hmmmm... thinking about past frustrations where people just wouldn't listen. ... Was I listening?
So today, then, take care how you hear. I'm going to try mysef.
"No one who lights a lamp conceals it with a vessel
or sets it under a bed;
rather, he places it on a lampstand
so that those who enter may see the light.
For there is nothing hidden that will not become visible,
and nothing secret that will not be known and come to light.
Take care, then, how you hear.
To anyone who has, more will be given,
and from the one who has not,
even what he seems to have will be taken away.”
Take care then, how you hear. Those words jumped out at me from today's Gospel. Over the weekend one of the Sisters was saying how she's caught herself in a quandry lately. She prays each day for a certain political leader to have a change of heart, but then whenever she reads about yet another stupid thing the aforementioned leader has said or done, she finds herself full of anger and frustration. Is she really open to this leader having a change of heart?
Which got me thinking, are our ears (and hearts) really open? Whatever our political leanings, at times we are likely to be cynical and know what the answers are, if only they would ask us! Cyncicsm can filter what we hear though. It can filter the light from another's basket, and leave us in the dark.
And I have a feeling this happens to us not only in our following of major geo-political figures, but in our daily lives. Hmmmm... thinking about past frustrations where people just wouldn't listen. ... Was I listening?
So today, then, take care how you hear. I'm going to try mysef.
9.18.2005
circuitous paths
Yesterday in the morning (before my discernment meeting) I joined with some Sisters and Associates (and those journeying to become Associates) for Sharing the Journey. STJ is the formation program for the associates. Lay people who are drawn to the groovy sister charism learn about the community and through prayer and study and their own discernment process, decide if they want to journey with the community as associate members. Anyway, as luck (or God) would have it, yesterday morning’s topic was Call & Discernment. Very fitting I though seeing what I had going on in the afternoon!
Sr. Susan who was leading the session asked us to hold in prayer for the morning a decision or situation we’ve been struggling with. I didn’t chose anything having to do with the Sisters, but a messy group dynamic situation in another part of my life. I’ll spare you the details. But the message I got that morning through prayer and reflection was not an aha moment. It was not a clear you should do this or you should do that. No solutions came to mind. What came to me was simply this. Stay the course. Walk the path. God will journey with you.
It’s a particularly complex and messy situation. I later got an e-mail from a friend embroiled in the same situation, where she shared her frustration with me and desire to just walk away from it. I‘ll admit I feel the same at times. So I continue to hold it in prayer. Seems like that’s all I can do.
Then this afternoon, I went for a solitary walk in my favorite wooded park. I walk those trails all the time, and yet in a weird way this afternoon they seemed different. It seemed like it should twist when it would turn or turn when it would twist. I’d expect the turn off before it came. Etc... Didn’t get lost or even disoriented, but it was a bit odd.
The thing is, when I walk in this park its usually a solitary walk with the big guy. So many times I have taken something to the park in prayer, and when I come out I realize all will be well and sometimes even have had some aha moments. But this time, it seemed like I was getting a part two of my message. Stay the course. Walk the path. It will lead where it needs to lead, you might just not feel like you know the way. But invite God to journey with you and your friends.
So, guess I’m not running away from the situation. Although I am taking a break from it.
Headed to DC on Wednesday to visit my Dad and Sr. Sheila (the Congregation leader).
Prayer is interesting to me. Very interesting .... Maybe there’s a part 3?
Rambling thoughts over. Time to get myself sorted out for a busy half of a week.
Sr. Susan who was leading the session asked us to hold in prayer for the morning a decision or situation we’ve been struggling with. I didn’t chose anything having to do with the Sisters, but a messy group dynamic situation in another part of my life. I’ll spare you the details. But the message I got that morning through prayer and reflection was not an aha moment. It was not a clear you should do this or you should do that. No solutions came to mind. What came to me was simply this. Stay the course. Walk the path. God will journey with you.
It’s a particularly complex and messy situation. I later got an e-mail from a friend embroiled in the same situation, where she shared her frustration with me and desire to just walk away from it. I‘ll admit I feel the same at times. So I continue to hold it in prayer. Seems like that’s all I can do.
Then this afternoon, I went for a solitary walk in my favorite wooded park. I walk those trails all the time, and yet in a weird way this afternoon they seemed different. It seemed like it should twist when it would turn or turn when it would twist. I’d expect the turn off before it came. Etc... Didn’t get lost or even disoriented, but it was a bit odd.
The thing is, when I walk in this park its usually a solitary walk with the big guy. So many times I have taken something to the park in prayer, and when I come out I realize all will be well and sometimes even have had some aha moments. But this time, it seemed like I was getting a part two of my message. Stay the course. Walk the path. It will lead where it needs to lead, you might just not feel like you know the way. But invite God to journey with you and your friends.
So, guess I’m not running away from the situation. Although I am taking a break from it.
Headed to DC on Wednesday to visit my Dad and Sr. Sheila (the Congregation leader).
Prayer is interesting to me. Very interesting .... Maybe there’s a part 3?
Rambling thoughts over. Time to get myself sorted out for a busy half of a week.
9.17.2005
Continuing on the journey
Thanks everyone for the prayers .... I'm still at the groovy sisters' spot on the lake, using the common computer in the library. I wasn't planning to post anything just checking my e-mail. But.... since you all have been so wonderful and I'm sure are curious, I figured it wouldn't hurt.
The meeting went really well. A continued affirmation of the rightness of this journey God has invited me on, and this community in particular as "home." I don't want to go into the details ... I want to savour them, pray about them and perhaps (gasp) actually journal about them with paper and a pen! But the short story is ... I am now a candidate for vowed membership with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace. Letters to me and the community from the provincial will be coming. The welcoming ritual will be in October. I know who my mentor will be and who my local community will be, but we still need to meet, discuss expectations, details, process, etc ...
I know you're all curious about the groovy sister formation process, so since I'm in the library I've pulled a copy of the Constitutions off the shelves:
So, that's where I am. I don't know how it will all play out. When I'll have my debt paid off or otherwise be ready to enter novitiate. I don't know what the future of religious life holds. Except I know that Jesus is calling me to follow him, and I most clearly hear this call in the context of this community. Again, the Constitutions:
And so I do (face the future with gratitude and hope), now as a candidate for vowed membership. How crazy & wonderful is that? We will be adapting candidacy for me a bit. Normally yes you do live in a local community, but you are financially independent and have your own job. However, because my job is 3 hours away and I need my high paying job working for the man to pay off my debt so I can one day drop everything and follow Christ, we're adapting things a bit. (What would those fisherman have done if they'd had thousands of dollars of credit card debt? Hmmmm.... Food for thought!) I will have a local community here in Seattle who are my "home" base. I'll visit regularly and I imagine spend holidays with them and stay in regular touch as I begin to experience the larger community through a smaller community (make sense?). I'm thinking of it as the national guard version of religious life (weekend peacemaker as opposed to "warrior") - or a kid whose parents have joint custody and hence has two homes. We'll see how it all plays out.
All I know is this is the path God is calling me on and my deepest desire continues to be to say yes. Only God knows how it turns out. My job is to continue on the journey.
Blessings of Peace
Susan Rose
PS - all my bloggy friends, you are privy to the news before my actual real life friends & family! I'm going to wait till I home to write a good long letter to all those folks
The meeting went really well. A continued affirmation of the rightness of this journey God has invited me on, and this community in particular as "home." I don't want to go into the details ... I want to savour them, pray about them and perhaps (gasp) actually journal about them with paper and a pen! But the short story is ... I am now a candidate for vowed membership with the Sisters of St. Joseph of Peace. Letters to me and the community from the provincial will be coming. The welcoming ritual will be in October. I know who my mentor will be and who my local community will be, but we still need to meet, discuss expectations, details, process, etc ...
I know you're all curious about the groovy sister formation process, so since I'm in the library I've pulled a copy of the Constitutions off the shelves:
Initial formation has three stages: candidacy, novitiate, and temporary profession. All these stages of incorporation into the congregation include a process of decision-making in a faith context involving the individual and those facilitating her formation.
In the candidacy period we offer an individual opportunities to experience community living with us and to grow in awareness of our charism and spirit. We provide guidance in prayer and assistance in discerning her readiness to enter the novitate.
So, that's where I am. I don't know how it will all play out. When I'll have my debt paid off or otherwise be ready to enter novitiate. I don't know what the future of religious life holds. Except I know that Jesus is calling me to follow him, and I most clearly hear this call in the context of this community. Again, the Constitutions:
Christ is our peace, the source of our power. United with him we engage in the struggle against the reality of evil and continue the work of establishing God's reign of justice and peace. ...
Our charism of peace challenges us to prohpetic risk so that God's reign might be more fully realized. Confident of God's faithful love and collaborating with others who work for justice and peace we face the future with gratitude and hope.
And so I do (face the future with gratitude and hope), now as a candidate for vowed membership. How crazy & wonderful is that? We will be adapting candidacy for me a bit. Normally yes you do live in a local community, but you are financially independent and have your own job. However, because my job is 3 hours away and I need my high paying job working for the man to pay off my debt so I can one day drop everything and follow Christ, we're adapting things a bit. (What would those fisherman have done if they'd had thousands of dollars of credit card debt? Hmmmm.... Food for thought!) I will have a local community here in Seattle who are my "home" base. I'll visit regularly and I imagine spend holidays with them and stay in regular touch as I begin to experience the larger community through a smaller community (make sense?). I'm thinking of it as the national guard version of religious life (weekend peacemaker as opposed to "warrior") - or a kid whose parents have joint custody and hence has two homes. We'll see how it all plays out.
All I know is this is the path God is calling me on and my deepest desire continues to be to say yes. Only God knows how it turns out. My job is to continue on the journey.
Blessings of Peace
Susan Rose
PS - all my bloggy friends, you are privy to the news before my actual real life friends & family! I'm going to wait till I home to write a good long letter to all those folks
9.15.2005
and now for something completely different
Not really. Just back to a mish-mash of random thoughts about me, rather than deep social commentary.
I’m getting oodles of hits. The Washington Post site has a “Who’s blogging this article” feature now. I’m #3. The funny thing is the link is to my post on the New Orleans Convention Center where I don’t say much because I CAN’T say much. It’s just too horrible.
It’s possible folks I know in the DC area (or other DC refugees like me) will stumble across my blog this way. If so, yes this is me. Yes I’m thinking about becoming a nun. Interesting, eh? Who’d have thunk it?
The blog’s not exactly a secret but there are many people I haven’t told about it. Most of my family for one thing. Hmmmmm.... They know all about the discernment, just not this electronic key into my inner thoughts.
Let’s see what else? ... Just got back from the hair dresser. I’d been growing my hair out to save money - less haircuts. But it was driving me crazy! So I’m now back to short hair. I feel much lighter! Then stopped by the mall to buy a pair of jeans. My old ones were too big, and sure enough I’m a size smaller. Very cool!
Tomorrow I’m going to head into work super early, since I’m leaving early. Yes, I’m headed out of town again on groovy sister business. This time it’s official .... (drum roll please) ... I’m having my discernment meeting on Saturday where I get to discuss my application with the province leadership and we discern if I should begin candidacy. That’s the beginning of the formation process for those of you who are mystified by the snail-paced process to become a Catholic Sister. Used to be called, and in fact still is called by some communities, postulancy.
So it’s quite possible that by my next post I’ll no longer be Susan Rose, pre-candidate. Looking forward to moving on and losing the “pre” and moving a step closer to becoming Groovy Sister Susan Rose. Of course it’s all in God’s hands so we’ll see.Take care. Be good while I’m gone. I’ll try to do so myself.
Peace Out,
Susan
I’m getting oodles of hits. The Washington Post site has a “Who’s blogging this article” feature now. I’m #3. The funny thing is the link is to my post on the New Orleans Convention Center where I don’t say much because I CAN’T say much. It’s just too horrible.
It’s possible folks I know in the DC area (or other DC refugees like me) will stumble across my blog this way. If so, yes this is me. Yes I’m thinking about becoming a nun. Interesting, eh? Who’d have thunk it?
The blog’s not exactly a secret but there are many people I haven’t told about it. Most of my family for one thing. Hmmmmm.... They know all about the discernment, just not this electronic key into my inner thoughts.
Let’s see what else? ... Just got back from the hair dresser. I’d been growing my hair out to save money - less haircuts. But it was driving me crazy! So I’m now back to short hair. I feel much lighter! Then stopped by the mall to buy a pair of jeans. My old ones were too big, and sure enough I’m a size smaller. Very cool!
Tomorrow I’m going to head into work super early, since I’m leaving early. Yes, I’m headed out of town again on groovy sister business. This time it’s official .... (drum roll please) ... I’m having my discernment meeting on Saturday where I get to discuss my application with the province leadership and we discern if I should begin candidacy. That’s the beginning of the formation process for those of you who are mystified by the snail-paced process to become a Catholic Sister. Used to be called, and in fact still is called by some communities, postulancy.
So it’s quite possible that by my next post I’ll no longer be Susan Rose, pre-candidate. Looking forward to moving on and losing the “pre” and moving a step closer to becoming Groovy Sister Susan Rose. Of course it’s all in God’s hands so we’ll see.Take care. Be good while I’m gone. I’ll try to do so myself.
Peace Out,
Susan
on chaos
Another article, this one in the Washington Post, detailing the chaos in the N.O. Convention Center. I caution you to not read it if you don't have the stomach for the gory details. But at the same time, I think we need to read it.
While we were home watching t.v., while we knew bad things were going on, while we knew our Country was ignoring largely poor largely African-American citizens stranded in New Orleans, chaos was reigning in the convention center.
I can't really comment. Only pray.
While we were home watching t.v., while we knew bad things were going on, while we knew our Country was ignoring largely poor largely African-American citizens stranded in New Orleans, chaos was reigning in the convention center.
I can't really comment. Only pray.
how does this make sense ... a short rant
Scary article in the New York Times - "Vatican to Check U.S. Seminaries on Gay Presence." Not that I didn't know this was coming. Some thoughts though ….
Celibate is celibate is celibate. If a man feels called to serve God and also feels called (or willing to live) a celibate lifestyle, who are we to decide whether that's "ok" based on the gender of the hypothetical people he's NOT having sex with?
As to the argument that it's not "fair" to a gay man to put him in a seminary with other men and expect him to be celibate. Is it "fair" to a straight man to put him alone in a parish with many many women and expect him to be celibate? Let's see ... 4 years in a seminary versus 50+ years of ministry alone in a rectory. Come on ....
As to the argument that gay men are responsible for molesting boys …. pedophilia and homosexuality ARE NOT THE SAME THING! By all means, screen out the pedophiles. PLEASE! Let's focus on the actual problem (like a church hierarchy that spent decades ignoring the issue and transferring pedophile priests rather than sending them to treatment or out of situations where they minister to children) rather than deflecting attention to a non-issue to deal with an alternate agenda.
And lastly, I'm not naming any names but I have known many priests over the years. And some of the most wonderful, most pastoral, most friendly, best able to relate chastely with men and women, have been gay men. It saddens me to think that not only are they not valued merely because of the gender of who they are NOT having sex with, but that they seem to be unwanted. I want them. The church needs them.
Vocation crisis anyone? Does someone honestly think a witch hunt of this sort is going to increase vocations?
Ok, rant over.
Have a good day everyone.
And pray for some more sanity and love in our church. She needs it.
PS - If you didn't read it at the time there was a great article on Busted Halo earlier this year - an interview with an anonymous gay priest. Worth the read...
PPS - Since I'm leaving the blog unattended for a few days, I'm turning comments off on this post. Everyone has behaved, but you never know. Feel free to write about the topic on your own blog though! And sadly, I don't think we're through with this topic so you'll have plenty of time to comment here another day.
crossing generations
A few days ago Joe at Novitiate Notes had a great post about the intergenerational friendships that tend to blossom in religious life. He acknowledges that such friendships happen other places, but there's something about religious life that seems to encourage and nourish them. And it's not just the youngin's learning from the old fogeys ... there's a give and take, an equality of sisterhood/brotherhood where every generation has something to share and something to learn.
Last weekend I had a great time getting to know some of the older sisters. My lunchtime companion was Sr. M. She invited me to her table and made me feel right at home. I heard lots of great stories. ... And then yesterday I got an e-mail ("nun-mail" as I call it) from the province offices asking us to pray for Sr. M. Seems she's been diagnosed with cancer and has already started treatment. She's a strong woman with a lot of faith. May it see her through to continued health and service to our God. Please keep her in your prayers.
Peace,
Susan
PS- Happy Blogiversary Joe!
I couldn't imagine life as a Jesuit novice without the example, encouragement and support of my elders who have been Jesuits for much longer than I've been alive. Friendships between younger and older Jesuits provide a significant amount of mentoring, but at their best they're also characterized by a certain brotherly equality and give-and-take that suggests that different generations can learn from each other. (Novitiate Note Joe)
Last weekend I had a great time getting to know some of the older sisters. My lunchtime companion was Sr. M. She invited me to her table and made me feel right at home. I heard lots of great stories. ... And then yesterday I got an e-mail ("nun-mail" as I call it) from the province offices asking us to pray for Sr. M. Seems she's been diagnosed with cancer and has already started treatment. She's a strong woman with a lot of faith. May it see her through to continued health and service to our God. Please keep her in your prayers.
Peace,
Susan
PS- Happy Blogiversary Joe!
9.14.2005
who am I?
You 20 somethings will be shocked to read this, but growing up I had to make do with a black and white tv. Being the youngest it was often my job to change the channels (no remote) and/or hold the antenna if the reception was really bad. We had to wait until my grandparents moved in with us when I was in 3rd grade to upgrade to a color set - they also bought us cable and a Betamax! Talk about the big time!
Anyway, as you might guess we were Catholic school kids, and deciding what to give up for Lent was always a big deal. One year my older sister Monica decided to give up something really really important. No, not chocolate ... watching M.A.S.H. reruns.
What does this have to do with the black & white tv? Well, it was during the Lent that we upgraded to color that Monica gave up M.A.S.H. And wouldn't you know it, it was also during those 40 days that the episode of M.A.S.H. was replayed where everyone wears red. We'd never really gotten the joke, since red and army green look pretty similar on a grainy black and white set. My other sister, my brother and I were laughing and laughing and laughing. And Monica was in the other room asking what was so funny. But she couldn't come see ... she'd give it up for Lent after all.
Why do I bring up this story? I've taken the M.A.S.H. character quiz. I'm Fr. John Francis Patrick Mulcahy. Or, as the quiz site says, "Well, you're not really him; you just resemble this fictional character. A bit. Let's get that straight before you start administering the last rites or teaching nuns how to box."
Quotidian Grace asks the question on Revgalblogpals, will any of the revgals or their blogpals not turn out to be Fr. Mulcahy? A good question ...
Anyway, as you might guess we were Catholic school kids, and deciding what to give up for Lent was always a big deal. One year my older sister Monica decided to give up something really really important. No, not chocolate ... watching M.A.S.H. reruns.
What does this have to do with the black & white tv? Well, it was during the Lent that we upgraded to color that Monica gave up M.A.S.H. And wouldn't you know it, it was also during those 40 days that the episode of M.A.S.H. was replayed where everyone wears red. We'd never really gotten the joke, since red and army green look pretty similar on a grainy black and white set. My other sister, my brother and I were laughing and laughing and laughing. And Monica was in the other room asking what was so funny. But she couldn't come see ... she'd give it up for Lent after all.
Why do I bring up this story? I've taken the M.A.S.H. character quiz. I'm Fr. John Francis Patrick Mulcahy. Or, as the quiz site says, "Well, you're not really him; you just resemble this fictional character. A bit. Let's get that straight before you start administering the last rites or teaching nuns how to box."
Quotidian Grace asks the question on Revgalblogpals, will any of the revgals or their blogpals not turn out to be Fr. Mulcahy? A good question ...
sounds familiar
Today's 1st Reading from Numbers starts: "With their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained..."
Boy does that sound familiar. On a journey? Yes. A wonderful journey my God has invited me on to be sure. Impatient on the journey? You bet! Yesterday at work was filled with impatience. Citizens and assorted others were impatient with me, I was impatient back. Just the tip of the iceberg really when it comes to my impatience.
And so I pray. For patience. For trust. For strength. For the spiritual food I need, my lambas biscuits (I think that's what the elfen bread is called in Lord of the Rings) to see me through on this long wonderful quest with God.
And luckily, I know that my everloving God will put up with my complaining. It's not like it's the first God's heard of it, as this reading from Numbers tells us. Whiners? God knows whiners.
Boy does that sound familiar. On a journey? Yes. A wonderful journey my God has invited me on to be sure. Impatient on the journey? You bet! Yesterday at work was filled with impatience. Citizens and assorted others were impatient with me, I was impatient back. Just the tip of the iceberg really when it comes to my impatience.
And so I pray. For patience. For trust. For strength. For the spiritual food I need, my lambas biscuits (I think that's what the elfen bread is called in Lord of the Rings) to see me through on this long wonderful quest with God.
And luckily, I know that my everloving God will put up with my complaining. It's not like it's the first God's heard of it, as this reading from Numbers tells us. Whiners? God knows whiners.
9.13.2005
feeling homeless on abortion
I've been preoccupied with other things (understandably) and not paying close attention to the Roberts nomination hearings. Other than being a tad annoyed that NPR's morning edition was preempted!
It has got me thinking about something I've been thinking about for a long time. The unintended consequences of the narrow focus of both the pro-life and pro-choice movements.
Over my 33 years I've spent time in both camps, and currently find myself homeless. Most of my friends are in the pro-choice camp, but I really do believe in my heart that a life is a life (whether it is a death row inmate or a human being growing in a mother's womb). My church (big C here for the Catholic Church) is part of the pro-life camp, but I've been uncomfortable with the dogmatic narrow minded approach for a number of years. Ever since I was a teenager in fact.
Being familiar with both camps, I know that deep down they actually share a similar vision. Not that you'd get folks entrenched on either side to see it, but they do. It's about life, but a quality life where all people are able to thrive, to have not only their material and physical needs met but their spiritual and emotional needs as well.
I've started wondering though if by focusing on one issue, or even one court case (Roe v. Wade) if both camps have inadvertently pushed that vision ever further away.
By focusing on saving Roe v. Wade, the pro-choice camp has been forced to compromise and spend less energy pushing for living wages, family jobs, health care, and quality education. Things that would all increase the quality of life and I believe greatly decrease the perceived need for abortions in the first place.
By focusing on repealing Roe v. Wade, the pro-life camp has likewise been forced to compromise. It is my belief, and I know this from experience having grown up in a democratic Catholic neighborhood where people voted for politicians they vehemently disagreed with on 99% of issues merely because they were against abortion, that by focusing on the issue of abortion, many pro-life people have inadvertently supported politicians and policies that are decidedly detrimental to quality of life. Low wage jobs, the lack of heath care, our sorry educational system, the dissolution of the family, an entire laundry list of societal woes have been deemed "unimportant" when contrasted with being against abortion. Ironically, it seems that policies have been pursued that decrease the quality of life and increase the perceived need for and actual number of abortions.
And so I find myself homeless on this issue. And as this issue seems to be the only issue at times, I'm often at a loss.
Those are my thoughts this lunchtime. Now back to work.
from Ms. Day
Today's Daily Dig is from our friend Dorothy Day. No need to comment. Just read and reflect. There's a lot in these few words:
If I did not believe, if I did not make what is called an act of faith (and each act of faith increases our capacity for faith), if I did not have faith that the works of mercy do lighten the sum total of suffering in the world, so that those who are suffering in this ghastly struggle somehow mysteriously find their pain lifted and some balm of consolation poured on their wounds — if I did not believe these things, the problem of evil would indeed be overwhelming.
Source: Dorothy Day, "On Pilgrimage"
9.12.2005
a blast from the medieval past
So the big boss stopped me at the copier and asked how things are going. I have this huge deadline today and I guess he could tell I was trying really hard to just deal without freaking out. (I'm managing so far)…
Anyway, I took it as a chance to share my news. I figured my immediate boss had already told him, and I was right. Of course when I asked him if he'd heard through the grapevine what I was planning to do with my life he said, "I did hear that you're considering joining a nunnery."
A nunnery? Do people honestly think that's what it's called these days? I'm not even really "joining the convent" since the groovy sisters live in houses and apartments. But a nunnery? Hmmm… well, I knew he didn't mean anything by it. It's just that like most folks, especially most non-Catholic folks, it is a foreign concept. Last they heard of someone doing what I'm doing I guess it was the middle ages and it was called a nunnery.
So I told him that it's not really called that anymore and told him about all the cool things the groovy sisters do around peace & justice, that I'd still be around for at least another year, and that I'll know if I'm being accepted to start the formation process soon. He also told me about his nephew who works with the Jesuits. (I love it when people reach back into their minds to share a bit of Catholic trivia! Kind of sweet really). He also said we need more people working for peace & justice. All in all a good response. Once I got over the nunnery part. :)
do yourself a favor
Do yourself a favor. Go read today’s liturgical readings. A great reminder about the power of prayer, the importance of faith and God‘s never ending love for us.
Gracious God, as I begin this day I lift my heart in prayer to you - for great faith, for trust, and for the peace that comes only from you. I join in the tradition of St. Paul in my hope and prayer that all people across the globe will lift their hands and hearts up reverently to you in prayer, without anger or argument. Like the Centurion, may we believe in the power of your love for us. Amen
Gracious God, as I begin this day I lift my heart in prayer to you - for great faith, for trust, and for the peace that comes only from you. I join in the tradition of St. Paul in my hope and prayer that all people across the globe will lift their hands and hearts up reverently to you in prayer, without anger or argument. Like the Centurion, may we believe in the power of your love for us. Amen
9.11.2005
rambling thoughts
I’ve been learning a lot about myself over the last few years - this past year of discernment especially. I’ve also noticed some new things about myself. In some ways I’m changing, in others I think I’m becoming more my true self. I’ve always been responsible and reliable, the type of person you could count on to follow through. In most ways I still am. But ....
I’ve also noticed a new found flakiness. Mostly this manifests itself when I overbook or overextend. It happens when I make plans with friends, people I truly want to see. The plans don’t seem over the top crazy (except for when I planned to drive to and from Montana in a 3 day weekend - that was crazy and it‘s probably a good thing I bailed, even though I would have loved to see my good friend CoCo). They seem fun and simple and manageable. And they would be, if I didn’t have all these other things going on in my life. Driving 3 hours each way to visit the groovy sisters once or twice a month (or more) drains me for one thing. Making time for prayer and reflection well ... it takes a surprising amount of time. Also, I’m an introvert by nature and so much of this getting to know the community involves ... well ... getting to know the community. Laughing, talking, having a grand time like I did this weekend. Which I love and is what I want to do but it EXHAUSTS ME!!!!! Or perhaps it’s the combination of the driving and the interaction. In any case, I find myself back home and facing work and church activities and piles of laundry and all these wonderful friends that I miss and want to spend time with. So I make plans. But then, sometimes, when the time comes and I’m just burned out and driving myself crazy, I end up making a choice to “flake out,” knowing that my friends will understand. Or hoping that they’ll understand. Which is made an even harder choice by the fact that I’ll be leaving Portland in a year or two and then really won’t have time to spend with them.
Sigh..... The weekend was wonderful, but I find myself exhausted. Busy week at work too, and then back to Seattle this weekend. I’ve got my big discernment meeting where we discuss my application and whether I can start candidacy. All signs are pointing towards yes but you never know. If you’ve got any spare prayers (amongst all the other needs out there), I’d appreciate them this week and the coming weekend.
On that note, off for some evening prayers and then an early bedtime for this discerning woman.
Peace,
Susan
Later ... after a good night's sleep. Feeling MUCH better. No longer exhausted. And the exhaustion was a good exhaustion anyway. Hard to explain. There have been times in life where I've done something that has been physically and emotionally or mentally or spiritually exhausting. My job was like that for a while when I was in true "I hate my job mode." Community time may exhaust me, but it's a whole different ball of wax. It's a satisfied exhaustion. Last night I crawled into bed and closed my eyes and was soooo tired I could barely even manage the energy to yawn. But I was happy and a slide show of sorts of the highlights of the weekend played behind my eyelids. It's good to know and honor my introvert side and need to just make sure to build in time for rejuvenation and "Susan time" as I continue on this journey.
9.10.2005
greetings from up north
Checking in from Bellingham, using the computer at Sr. Grace & Siobahn's house. The Grandmother's Gathering at the Indian Reservation was great. Lots of great stories and wisdom being passed on. We then headed to Srs. G & S's (another Sister lives here too - Ellen - but she's in Ireland visitng family). It's been our own version of a grandmother's gathering. So many stories ... and wisdom. It's been an honor to be here, and an enjoyable one at that. Plus they've just taken such good care of us, here in yet another home away from home.
Today we also had a grand tour of the area from Annie, one of the groovy sisters' associates (lay people who have an affinity with the charism and associate with the community, hence the term "associate"). We even got to see the old site of the Novitiate, once a private home, then the sisters' novitiate, now a place for weddings and fancy parties. I've heard so many stories of the place, it was great to see it.
This evening we were treated to a feast by Sister Mary Therese. Great conversation as well.
Tomorrow mass in the morning. Then I'll drop Hellen back off at the groovy sisters' spot on the lake (where she's living) and I'll head back to Portland.
Our grand summer tour of groovy sister spots in the Northwest will be officially over. It's been great to get more of a sense of the community. And to get to know some sisters better. Most of all it's been great to have the affirmation, over and over again, that this really is home. No matter where "there" is.
Hope you're all doing well!
Peace,
Susan
Today we also had a grand tour of the area from Annie, one of the groovy sisters' associates (lay people who have an affinity with the charism and associate with the community, hence the term "associate"). We even got to see the old site of the Novitiate, once a private home, then the sisters' novitiate, now a place for weddings and fancy parties. I've heard so many stories of the place, it was great to see it.
This evening we were treated to a feast by Sister Mary Therese. Great conversation as well.
Tomorrow mass in the morning. Then I'll drop Hellen back off at the groovy sisters' spot on the lake (where she's living) and I'll head back to Portland.
Our grand summer tour of groovy sister spots in the Northwest will be officially over. It's been great to get more of a sense of the community. And to get to know some sisters better. Most of all it's been great to have the affirmation, over and over again, that this really is home. No matter where "there" is.
Hope you're all doing well!
Peace,
Susan
9.08.2005
off again off again
Hey kids. Well, guess what. Yep, you guessed it. I’m headed out of town again! This time for a little bit longer. I’m working in the morning and then Hellen and I are driving up to the groovy sisters’ spot on the lake. Friday morning we’re headed up to an Indian Reservation near Bellingham where we’ve been invited by Sr. Julie to participate in the Grandmother’s Gathering … a gathering of elders and youth from various indigenous communities. (Sr. Julie works with native americans in downtown Seattle. She’s bringing a group of folks up for the gathering as well.) Then we’re spending the weekend with some of the groovy sisters who live in Bellingham. Maybe check out the hospital there. Get to know them better. I’ll be back on Sunday.
So, be good. Have fun. Enjoy your friends and families and this wonderful gift of life our creator God has given us.
Peace Out,
Susan
So, be good. Have fun. Enjoy your friends and families and this wonderful gift of life our creator God has given us.
Peace Out,
Susan
9.07.2005
blessings and overload
Today's daily meditation from the Henri Nouwen Society:
I'm on overload at the moment. Work. Friends. Church. Discernment. Life. Nothing bad is happening, there's just too much happening. And when too much is happening, I get caught up in me, what I need, what I want, what I think. I let people annoy me. I get frustrated and short tempered. I may say things I really don't mean to say, hurt people in ways I really don't want to hurt. But I'm so on overload, I'm not really aware of the specifics of any of this.
So, at the moment I'm feeling generally sheepish like I may have done some of these things to various people in my various circles, but don't really know who to apologize to because, well, I'm on overload.
And so I stop, pause and breathe. And in the spirit of this daily reflection from Henri Nouwen, I bless all our endeavors and daily activities and thank our creator for this wonderful gift of life. Even when it sometimes seems like too much.
To bless means to say good things. We have to bless one another constantly. Parents need to bless their children, children their parents, husbands their wives, wives their husbands, friends their friends. In our society, so full of curses, we must fill each place we enter with our blessings. We forget so quickly that we are God's beloved children and allow the many curses of our world to darken our hearts. Therefore we have to be reminded of our belovedness and remind others of theirs. Whether the blessing is given in words or with gestures, in a solemn or an informal way, our lives need to be blessed lives.
I'm on overload at the moment. Work. Friends. Church. Discernment. Life. Nothing bad is happening, there's just too much happening. And when too much is happening, I get caught up in me, what I need, what I want, what I think. I let people annoy me. I get frustrated and short tempered. I may say things I really don't mean to say, hurt people in ways I really don't want to hurt. But I'm so on overload, I'm not really aware of the specifics of any of this.
So, at the moment I'm feeling generally sheepish like I may have done some of these things to various people in my various circles, but don't really know who to apologize to because, well, I'm on overload.
And so I stop, pause and breathe. And in the spirit of this daily reflection from Henri Nouwen, I bless all our endeavors and daily activities and thank our creator for this wonderful gift of life. Even when it sometimes seems like too much.
9.06.2005
welcome to my world
Chatted with both my sisters yesterday. My oldest sister Marie lives in Alabama, but closer to Georgia. They weren't affected by the hurricane, although they now have lots of new neighbors in their little Southern town taking shelter in local churches.
I also talked to my older sister Monica. She'd spent the weekend visiting our cousin in Colorado and some of her friends from college and peace corps. Apparently, I was the main topic of conversation.
Cousin/friend: How's your family doing?
Older sister: Really well. Joe's family is growing up. Michael's really busy with his internet company. Susan's becoming a nun. Marie's...
Cousin/friend: What did you say? Susan's becoming a what?
Older sister: Susan's becoming a nun. She's found this really great order that's committed to social justice and …
Cousin/friend: Wait a minute, did you say she's becoming a nun. I didn't realize she was religious.
Older sister: Well, she's been rediscovering her faith for the past 6 years or so. She found a really great parish and got involved in peace and justice work and realized this is what she's meant to do.
Cousin/friend: Wow. I can't believe she's becoming a nun. Will she wear a habit?
Older sister: No, it's a modern active order of sisters. Like I said, they're committed to social justice and peace. They run a health system and do a lot of work with the poor and women.
Cousin/friend: Wow. Little Susie's gonna be a nun! How do you feel about that?
Older sister: She seems really happy….
I also talked to my older sister Monica. She'd spent the weekend visiting our cousin in Colorado and some of her friends from college and peace corps. Apparently, I was the main topic of conversation.
Cousin/friend: How's your family doing?
Older sister: Really well. Joe's family is growing up. Michael's really busy with his internet company. Susan's becoming a nun. Marie's...
Cousin/friend: What did you say? Susan's becoming a what?
Older sister: Susan's becoming a nun. She's found this really great order that's committed to social justice and …
Cousin/friend: Wait a minute, did you say she's becoming a nun. I didn't realize she was religious.
Older sister: Well, she's been rediscovering her faith for the past 6 years or so. She found a really great parish and got involved in peace and justice work and realized this is what she's meant to do.
Cousin/friend: Wow. I can't believe she's becoming a nun. Will she wear a habit?
Older sister: No, it's a modern active order of sisters. Like I said, they're committed to social justice and peace. They run a health system and do a lot of work with the poor and women.
Cousin/friend: Wow. Little Susie's gonna be a nun! How do you feel about that?
Older sister: She seems really happy….
Cousin/friend (turning to another relative/friend): Did you hear that her sister's going to become a nun?
This is of course a paraphrase of how my sister described the many conversations she had about me over the weekend. I guess conversation kept coming back to it. Her husband asked her on the drive back to Chicago if they'd have to have this conversation forever.
I told her I think the novelty will wear off. But I also said, "Welcome to my world!" … This happens to me a lot.
My cousin at first apparently said that it was cool, because the family would have somebody with some pull (to get them all into heaven? not sure what he meant by that). But then he said something like, "Does that mean she's going to know all the bad things I do too." I guess it's an extension of the nuns who taught us who could someone see what was going on behind them. My sister told him no, she didn't think so, but our Mom (his Aunt) is already in heaven and you can bet she's keeping an eye on him so he better shape up.
far from home
Please pray for the 1,000 evacuees from New Orleans who will soon be my neighbors. Oregon is getting ready to welcome them as soon as Wednesday, one of a dozen states that have offered to help out. Turns out they’ll be living at an old high school about 10 minutes from my house. I’m sure the folks who will be coming here are tired and frustrated and confused and not so excited about being taken 2,000 miles away from home. May they find comfort and peace. And may natives be patient as our new neighbors learn that it’s "Orygun" not "Ore-E-Gone." :)
Please pray also for all those preparing to welcome our new neighbors. To take care of their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. May it all be guided by the Holy Spirit.
Lastly, please pray for my own little parish peace & justice commission as we begin discerning what we can do over the next 6 months to help these folks. We’re only one parish over from where they’ll be, and I bet there will a very significant number of Catholics amongst the thousand.
Please pray also for all those preparing to welcome our new neighbors. To take care of their physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. May it all be guided by the Holy Spirit.
Lastly, please pray for my own little parish peace & justice commission as we begin discerning what we can do over the next 6 months to help these folks. We’re only one parish over from where they’ll be, and I bet there will a very significant number of Catholics amongst the thousand.
9.05.2005
a sister by the sea
Back from our mini-vacation to the coast. As always, it was beautiful. I always joke that God had a lot of fun creating the Oregon Coast.
We stayed with Sr. Noreen who works at the groovy sister hospital there. She welcomed us into her home by the sea and took great care of us. I find it amazing that, as a pretty darn shy individual, I can feel so at home with people I barely know. Well, not most people but pretty much every groovy sister. I guess it has something to do with the mystery of community and sharing the same charism/spirit in your heart. … I’d only met Sr. N once at the Jubilee celebrations – she was one of the 10 Sisters to celebrate Jubilees this year. And yet she opened her home and heart to us and showed us all around town.
She works at the small community hospital there which is run in a partnership by the community and the sisters’ health system. Sr. N is the pastoral care director and chaplain. She’s on call 24/7 (although she had the weekend off to spend with us). When she gave us a tour of the hospital Sunday morning it was obvious how much she cares about the place and the people, and it was obvious how much they care about her.
A very nice mini groovy sister field trip.
9.03.2005
hope and despair
Last night we watched some of the special on tv about the hurricane. I normally don’t watch tv news. I stopped a long time ago for my mental health. There’s usually just so much fear mongering. But last night, it visually said what I’ve been picking up in the newspaper and radio accounts as the underlying theme … race and class relations. Will we as a nation finally face up to the fact that our sordid history has not in fact been dealt with, just pushed under the rug? And then when a hurricane comes and pushes it back to the forefront, and we white Americans are sitting in horror in our living rooms as our government appears to do nothing as the least amongst us suffer, what do we think? What do we feel? What do we do?
I decided to pray for the people in Louisiana who are probably too tired and full of despair to pray for themselves. And as often happens, the evening prayer in my People’s Companion to the Breviary was perfectly matched to my needs last night. I only hope that somehow it helped someone who was having trouble sleeping last night outside or cramped into an overcrowded shelter. I hope it gave them some hope.
We can and should be outraged at what has happened, but we should not and cannot give up hope. Christ is the source of our peace. God is our hope. The readings today also seem perfectly matched.
Jesus answered them, ‘So you have not read what David did when he and his followers were hungry – how he went into the house of God and took the loaves of the offering and ate them and gave them to his followers, loaves which the priests alone are allowed to eat?
– Luke 6: 3-4Arrogant men are attacking me,
bullies hounding me to death,
no room in their thoughts for God.
But now God is coming to my help,
the Lord, among those who sustain me.
-Psalm 54: 3-4You were once estranged and of hostile intent through your evil behavior; now he has reconciled you, by his death and in that mortal body, to bring you before himself holy, faultless and irreproachable – as long as you preserver and stand firm on the solid base of the faith, never letting yourselves drift away from the hope promised by the gospel, which you have heard, which has been preached to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have been the servant.
-Colossians 1: 21-23
In despair it’s all too easy to have no room in your thoughts for God. Funnily, in my experience when you make room for God, there’s less room for despair. Pray for our brothers and sisters on the Gulf. Pray for our men and women working to relieve their suffering. Pray for our government, pray for our country. Please.
This morning we’re headed off to the coast on a little mini groovy sisters field trip.
Peace Out
Susan
9.02.2005
heart breaking
This story from the BBC about the refugees in New Orleans just breaks my heart.
There are so many implications of this tragedy, aside from the horror affecting what seem to be the forgotten poor of New Orleans. How horrible it feels even to write that, acknowledging the disgrace of what is happening to our brothers and sisters there by just a sentence and then moving on with just two words "aside from."
Uggh... I am finding it so hard to concentrate on work today.
Anyway, The US Bishops website has an item about relocating of retired religious who have been left homeless from the hurricane.
Catholic schools are opening up to displaced students.
College students that survived the hurricane now have no where to go to school. Heard about that on NPR this morning. Other schools seem to be welcoming them. Mark Mossa, sj has info on Loyola.
So much .... and yet my heart and mind returns to those poor souls stuck on the ground, who have not been able to get out, who have gone days without food or water or diapers or bathrooms or medical care. Human beings. Our brothers and sisters. Do we wonder if they are frustrated and hopeless? And then to read about people criticizing the poor for not evacuating? It just breaks my heart and makes me angry.
Give what you can. And then give some more. And pray, pray pray for those poor souls stuck in New Orleans. I'll admit I'm starting to feel like people away from the front must have felt in World War II. We just can't imagine the reality of the hell they are going through. We can read about it, we can even see it on tv. but we cannot imagine it.
For the Intercession of the Saints
Good Saint Joseph, patron of Baton Rouge,
comfort those who have lost the ones they loved,
and bring them peace.
Saint Francis of Assisi, patron of the poor,
pray for that God might show us the way
to relieve the terrible sufferings of these days.
Saint Christopher,
who bore the Christ across the waters,
deliver us from the waters of this flood.
Good Saint Anthony, Patron of the lost,
lead all who are stranded or homeless
back to those who love them.
Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos,
look upon your beloved people,
that Christ might restore all that has been lost.
(More prayers here)
Updated: Do yourself a favor and read this article in the Guardian on race relations. Thanks to Rob Marsh, sj for the link.
There are so many implications of this tragedy, aside from the horror affecting what seem to be the forgotten poor of New Orleans. How horrible it feels even to write that, acknowledging the disgrace of what is happening to our brothers and sisters there by just a sentence and then moving on with just two words "aside from."
Uggh... I am finding it so hard to concentrate on work today.
Anyway, The US Bishops website has an item about relocating of retired religious who have been left homeless from the hurricane.
Catholic schools are opening up to displaced students.
College students that survived the hurricane now have no where to go to school. Heard about that on NPR this morning. Other schools seem to be welcoming them. Mark Mossa, sj has info on Loyola.
So much .... and yet my heart and mind returns to those poor souls stuck on the ground, who have not been able to get out, who have gone days without food or water or diapers or bathrooms or medical care. Human beings. Our brothers and sisters. Do we wonder if they are frustrated and hopeless? And then to read about people criticizing the poor for not evacuating? It just breaks my heart and makes me angry.
Give what you can. And then give some more. And pray, pray pray for those poor souls stuck in New Orleans. I'll admit I'm starting to feel like people away from the front must have felt in World War II. We just can't imagine the reality of the hell they are going through. We can read about it, we can even see it on tv. but we cannot imagine it.
For the Intercession of the Saints
Good Saint Joseph, patron of Baton Rouge,
comfort those who have lost the ones they loved,
and bring them peace.
Saint Francis of Assisi, patron of the poor,
pray for that God might show us the way
to relieve the terrible sufferings of these days.
Saint Christopher,
who bore the Christ across the waters,
deliver us from the waters of this flood.
Good Saint Anthony, Patron of the lost,
lead all who are stranded or homeless
back to those who love them.
Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos,
look upon your beloved people,
that Christ might restore all that has been lost.
(More prayers here)
Updated: Do yourself a favor and read this article in the Guardian on race relations. Thanks to Rob Marsh, sj for the link.
holiday weekend
It's almost Labor Day weekend which makes me happy. It's been an action packed few weeks at work, as I was trying to get things done in time for my September 1 deadline on my giant project at work. I'm happy to report I managed to get everything that needed to get done done. Whew!!! Now I can get back to the rest of my work (after this quick blogging break of course!).
This week my friend Hellen is here visiting. (Hi Hellen if you're reading!). She's also in formation with the groovy sisters. Tomorrow we're headed to the beautiful Oregon Coast to see the sights and visit with Sister Noreen who works at the groovy sisters hospital there. Should be lots of fun. I'll check back in next week.
Take care everyone. Have a safe holiday weekend. Enjoy your friends and family. Send some money to the folks in the Gulf Coast. Say some prayers for them too. Kind of strange to be going on with our lives isn't it (those of us unaffected by the disaster). Although with all this driving I have planned this month for various groovy sister events, I'm not terribly excited about the increase in gas prices :(
all time favorite
Thanks to Steph for reminding me of my all time favorite article in The Onion, "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule.
The time was right after 9/11. Everyone was clamoring for revenge. And those often irreverant sometimes crude folks at the Onion reminded us of what it's all really about ... God doesn't want us to kill people, people kill people. I especially love the picture (I think from the Sistine Chapel?) with the caption at the bottom ... "God." So here are a few words straight from God's post 9/11 press conference:
God is love.
The time was right after 9/11. Everyone was clamoring for revenge. And those often irreverant sometimes crude folks at the Onion reminded us of what it's all really about ... God doesn't want us to kill people, people kill people. I especially love the picture (I think from the Sistine Chapel?) with the caption at the bottom ... "God." So here are a few words straight from God's post 9/11 press conference:
"I tried to put it in the simplest possible terms for you people, so you'd get it straight, because I thought it was pretty important," said God, called Yahweh and Allah respectively in the Judaic and Muslim traditions. "I guess I figured I'd left no real room for confusion after putting it in a four-word sentence with one-syllable words, on the tablets I gave to Moses. How much more clear can I get?" "But somehow, it all gets twisted around and, next thing you know, somebody's spouting off some nonsense about, 'God says I have to kill this guy, God wants me to kill that guy, it's God's will,'" God continued. "It's not God's will, all right? News flash: 'God's will' equals 'Don't murder people.'"
God is love.
9.01.2005
help through blogging
According to Nathan it's Hurricane Blog for Relief Day.
Every story I read is heart wrenching. I must admit I feel a bit guilty just going about my daily life here. I can't imagine. But we can pray. And we can give what they need ... moola!
Penni is raising money for bloggy friends Crystal & Fish. You just use the paypal button on the right of the screen. Just did this .. easy as pie. Thanks Penni!
Natala at And that Makes All the Difference has an idea for those who want to do something more concrete. You can send supplies to her friend's Metholdist Church in Alabama. Thanks Natala!
Or give money to Catholic Charities or Mercy Corps or American Red Cross or any number of agencies on the ground.
Just do something
Peace Out,
Susan
UPDATE: I've got a post up on Sollicitudo Rei Socialis. It's an unfortunate tie in to my post earlier this week on the increasing poverty rate. Our brothers and sisters REALLY need our help. It kind of explains why so many didn't evacuate. They probably didn't have the cash or means of transport.
Every story I read is heart wrenching. I must admit I feel a bit guilty just going about my daily life here. I can't imagine. But we can pray. And we can give what they need ... moola!
Penni is raising money for bloggy friends Crystal & Fish. You just use the paypal button on the right of the screen. Just did this .. easy as pie. Thanks Penni!
Natala at And that Makes All the Difference has an idea for those who want to do something more concrete. You can send supplies to her friend's Metholdist Church in Alabama. Thanks Natala!
Or give money to Catholic Charities or Mercy Corps or American Red Cross or any number of agencies on the ground.
Just do something
Peace Out,
Susan
UPDATE: I've got a post up on Sollicitudo Rei Socialis. It's an unfortunate tie in to my post earlier this week on the increasing poverty rate. Our brothers and sisters REALLY need our help. It kind of explains why so many didn't evacuate. They probably didn't have the cash or means of transport.
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